EXT.  MANHATTAN ISLAND - DAY

A high AERIAL SHOT of the island features the Statue of Liberty
prominently in the foreground then TRAVELS ACROSS the harbor, OVER the
Battery and Lower Manhattan to Greenwich Village.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - DAY

A car is being hoisted up by a municipal tow truck while its owner is
having a terrible screaming arguement with a parking enforcement officer.
DANA BARRETT comes home pushing a baby buggy, struggling with two full
bags of groceries, and trying to dig her keys out of her purse. The

building superintendent FRANK, sees her struggling but pretends not to
notice.

DANA
(exasperated)
Frank, do you think you could give me a hand
with these bags?

FRANK
I’m not a doorman, Miss Barrett.  I’m a
building superintendent.

DANA
You’re also a human being, Frank.

FRANK
(reluctantly going to help)
Okay, okay.  It’s not my job, but what the
hell.  I’ll do you a favor.  He takes the
grocery bags from her.

DANA
(setting the wheel brakes on
the buggy)
Thank you, Frank.  I’ll get the hang of this
eventually.

She continues digging in her purse while Frank leans over the buggy and
makes funny faces at the baby, OSCAR, a very cute nine-month old boy.

FRANK
(to the baby)
Hiya, Oscar.  What do you say, slugger?

FRANK
(to Dana)
That’s a good-looking kid you got there, Ms.
Barrett.

DANA
(finding her keys)
Thank you, Frank.  Oh, are you ever going to
fix the radiator in my bedroom?  I asked you
last week.

FRANK
Didn’t I do it?

BABY BUGGY

It starts to vibrate as if shaken by an unseen hand.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - BABY - DAY

He GURGLES with delight at the movement.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - DANA AND FRANK - DAY

Neither of them notice the movement of the carriage.

DANA
No, you didn’t, Frank.

FRANK
Okay, that’s no problem.

DANA
That’s exactly what you said last week.

BUGGY WHEELS

The brakes unlock themselves.

DANA

She reaches for the handlebar of the buggy, but the buggy rolls forward
just out of her reach and stops.  Surprised by the movement, she reaches
for the handlebar again, but this time the buggy rolls away even
further.  Alarmed now, Dana hurries after it, but the buggy keeps
rolling down the street at ever increasing speed.

SIDEWALK

Dana chases the buggy down the street, shouting to passing pedestrians
for help, but every time someone reaches out to stop it, the buggy
swerves and continues unchecked.

INTERSECTION

Cars, trucks, and buses speed by in both directions as the buggy races
toward the corner.

DANA

She puts her head down and sprints after the buggy like an Olympian.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - INTERSECTION - DAY

A city bus is on a collision course with the speeding baby buggy.

BUGGY

It careens toward the corner.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - BABY - DAY

Its eyes are wide open with excitement.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - INTERSECTION - DAY

Bus and buggy are closing fast as the buggy bounces over the curb and
into the crosswalk.

BUS

The bus driver reacts in helpless horror as he sees the buggy enter the
intersection at high speed.

BUGGY

It comes to a dead stop right in the middle of the street.  The bus
continues missing the buggy by inches.

INTERSECTION

Cars and trucks swerve and hit their brakes as Dana runs into the
intersection and snatches up the baby.  She hugs it close, deeply
relieved, then looks at the buggy with the dawning awareness that the
supernatural has re-entered her life.

CUT TO:

EXT.  UPPER WEST SIDE - NEW YORK CITY STREET - GHOSTBUSTERS LOGO - DAY

THEME MUSIC kicks in strongly as we see the familiar "No Ghosts" symbol
and PULL BACK to reveal that it’s painted on the side of Ecto-1, the
Ghostbusters’ emergency vehicle, which is speeding up Broadway on the
Upper West Side.  RAY STANTZ is driving and WINSTON ZEDDEMORE is riding
shotgun.

EXT.  WEST 77TH STREET - DAY  (MOMENTS LATER)

The Ectomobile pulls up in front of a carefully-restored brownstone.
Stantz and Winston, wearing their official Ghostbuster uniforms, jump
out of the old ambulance, shoulder their proton packs and enter the
house.

INT.  BROWNSTONE - DAY  (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

A WOMAN greets them and leads them through the expensively-furnished
house.

STANTZ
(all business)
How many of them are there, ma’am?

WOMAN
Fourteen.  They’re in the back.  I hope you can
handle them.  It’s been like a nightmare.

WINSTON
How big are they?

She holds her hand out indicating about four feet.

WINSTON
(resolute)
We’ll do our best, ma’am.

WOMAN
They’re right out here.

She leads them to a set of French doors that open into another room.
Stantz and Winston pause to make final adjustments to their equipment.

STANTZ
Ready?

WINSTON
I’m ready.

STANTZ
Then let’s do it.

He pushes through the French doors and they step into the room.

INT.  BROWNSTONE - DAY  (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

They are immediately attacked by fourteen or fifteen screaming KIDS
between the ages of seven and ten.

KIDS
(disappointed)
Ghostbusters!!  Boooo!!

Tables are set with party favors, ice cream and birthday cake and the
room is strewn with discarded toys and games.  A couple of weary parents
sink onto lawn chairs as Stantz and Winston take over the party.

WINSTON
(trying his best)
How you doin’, kids?

LITTLE BOY
(nasty)
I though we were having He-Man.

STANTZ
He-Man couldn’t make it today.  That’s why
we’re here.

BOY
My dad says you’re full of crap.

STANTZ
(stopped cold)
Well, a lot of people have trouble believing
in the paranormal.

BOY
No, he just says you’re full of crap and that’s
why you went out of business.

He kicks Stantz in the leg.  Stantz grabs him by the shirtfront.

STANTZ
(low and menacing)
I’m watching you.
(to Winston)
Song.

Winston switches on a tiny TAPE RECORDER which starts PLAYING the
Ghostbusters THEME SONG. Stantz and WInston start singing

STANTZ AND WINSTON
’There’s something wrong in the neighborhood.
Who you gonna call?’

KIDS
(all together)
He-Man!!

CUT TO:

EXT. WEST 77TH STREET - DAY (LATER)

Stantz and Winston wearily load their equipment into the Ectomobile.

WINSTON
That’s it, Ray.  I’ve had it.  No more parties.
I’m tired of taking abuse from over-privileged
nine-year-olds.

STANTZ
Come on, Winston.  We can’t quit now.  The
holidays are coming up.  It’s our best season.

They get in the car

INT.  ECTO-1 - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Stantz tries to start the car, but the engine won’t turn over.

WINSTON
Give it up, Ray.  You’re living in the past.
Ghostbusters doesn’t exist anymore.  In a year
these kids won’t even remember who we are.

STANTZ
(tries to start the car again)
Ungrateful little Yuppie larvae.  After all we
did for this city.

WINSTON
Yeah, what did we do, Ray?  The last real job
we had we bubbled up a hundred foot marshmallow
man and blew the top three floors off an uptown
highrise.

STANTZ
Yeah, but what a ride.  You can’t make a
hamburger without chopping up a cow.

He turns the key again, the ENGING TURNS OVER, then starts GRINDING and
CLUNKING disastrously, chewing up vital parts and dropping twisted bits
of metal onto the pavement.  Finally, with a BLAST of black sooty
exhaust from the tailpipe, Ecto-1 shudders and dies.  Frustrated, Stantz
bangs his head lightly on the steering wheel

CUT TO:

INT.  WKRR-TV STUDIO RECEPTION AREA - DAY (LATER)

A bank of monitors in the lobby show the program now running on WKRR,
Channel 10 in New York. We PUSH IN ON one of the monitors as a title
card and logo come up accompanied by some EERIE SYNTHESIZER MUSIC, and
we return to the show in progress: "World of the Psychic with Dr. Peter
Venkman."  There is a video dissolve to a standard talk show set and
sitting there is our host PETER VENKMAN, the renowned and somewhat
infamous ex-Ghostbuster.

VENKMAN

He turns TO CAMERA and talks to his viewers in a suavely engaging tone,
understated and intimate.

VENKMAN
Hi, welcome back to the ’World of the Psychic,’
I’m Peter Venkman and I’m chatting with my guest,
author, lecturer and of course, psychic, Milton
Anglund.
(to his guest)
Milt, your new book is called The End of the
World.  Isn’t that kind of like writing about
gum disease.  Yes, it could happen, but do you
think anybody wants to read a book about it?

MILTON
Well, I think it’s important for people to know
that the world is in danger.

VENKMAN
Okay, so can you tell us when it’s going to
happen or do we have to buy the book?

MILTON
I predict that the world will end at the
stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve.

VENKMAN
This year?  That’s cutting it a little close,
isn’t it?  I mean, just from a sales point of
view, the book just came out, right?  So you’re
not even looking at the paperback release for
maybe a year.  And it’s going to be at least
another year after that if the thing has
movie-of-the-week or mini-series potential.
You would have been better off predicting 1992
or even ’94 just to be safe.

MILTON
(irritated)
This is not just some money-making scheme!  I
didn’t just make up the date.  I have a strong
psychic belief that the world will end on New
Year’s Eve.

VENKMAN
(placating)
Well, for your sake, I hope you’re right.  But
I think my other guest may disagree with you.
Elaine, you had another date in mind?

The CAMERA REVEALS ELAINE, an attractive, aggressive New Jersey
housewife, sitting on the other side of Venkman.

ELAINE
According to my sources, the world will end
on February 14, in the year 2016.

VENKMAN
Valentine’s Day.  That’s got to be a bummer.
Where did you get that date, Elaine?

ELAINE
I received this information from an alien.  I
was at the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having
a drink in the bar when he approached me and
started talking.  Then he must have used some
sort of ray or a mind control device because
he made me follow him to his room and that’s
where he told me about the end of the world.

VENKMAN
Your alien had a room in the Holiday Inn?

ELAINE
It may have been a room on the spacecraft made
up to look like a room in the Holiday Inn.  I
can’t be sure, Peter.

VENKMAN
(humoring her)
No, you can’t, and I think that’s the whole
problem with aliens; you just can’t trust them.
You may get some nice ones occasionally like
Starman or E.T., but most of them turn out to
be some kind of lizard.  Anyway, we’re just
about out of time.
(does his wrap-up right TO
the CAMERA)
Next week on ’World of the Psychic,’ hairless
pets.
(holds up a hairless cat)
Until then, this is Peter Venkman saying ...
(puts a finger to his temple
and sends out a though to his
viewers)
... Good night.

CUT TO:

INT. TV STUDIO - CORRIDOR - DAY (LATER)

Venkman comes out of the studio squabbling with his producer, NORMAN, a
well-meaning young incompetent.

VENKMAN
Where do you find these people?  I thought
we were having the telekinetic guy who bends
the spoons?

NORMAN
A lot of the better psychics won’t come on the
show.  They think you’re too skeptical.

VENKMAN
Skeptical!  Norman, I’m a pushover.  I think
professional wrestling is real.

There is a small commotion down the hall as two plainclothes cops come
out of the next studio followed by a group of mayoral assistants.

VENKMAN
(to Norman)
What’s all this?

NORMAN
They just interviewed the mayor on ’Cityline.’

VENKMAN
The Mayor!  He’s a friend of mine.

Venkman starts down the hall as the MAYOR and his principal aide, JACK
HARDEMEYER, come walking out of the studio.

VENKMAN
(calling to the Mayor)
Lenny!

The Mayor sees Venkman, blanches and hurries off, pretending not to know
him.

VENKMAN
(starts to follow him)
Lenny!  It’s Pete Venkman!

The plainclothesmen cut Venkman off and Hardemeyer puts a heavy hand
against Venkman’s chest.

HARDEMEYER
(snide)
Can I help you?

VENKMAN
(dangerous)
Yeah, you can get your hand off my chest.

Hardemeyer smiles and drops his hand.

HARDEMEYER
I’m Jack Hardemeyer.  I’m the mayor’s assistant.
What can I do for you?

VENKMAN
I’m an old friend of the mayor’s.  I just
want to say hello to him.

HARDEMEYER
(scornful)
I know who you are, Doctor Venkman.  Busting
any ghosts lately?

VENKMAN
No, that’s what I want to talk to the mayor
about.  We did a little job for the city a
while back and we ended up getting sued,
screwed and tattooed by deskworms like you.

HARDEMEYER
(bristling)
Look, you stay away from the mayor.  Next fall,
barring a disaster, he’s going to be elected
governor of this state and the last thing we
need is for him to be associated with two-bit
frauds and publicity hounds like you and your
friends.  You read me?

Hardemeyer walks off with the two cops.

VENKMAN
Okay, I get it.  But I want you to tell Lenny
that, because of you, I’m not voting for him.

CUT TO:

EXT. MANHATTAN MUSEUM OF ART - DAY

The broad front steps of the museum are crowded with tourists and
visitors.  Dana arrives carrying a portfolio and artist’s tackle box and
enters the museum.

INT. MUSEUM - RESTORATION STUDIO - DAY (LATER)

We are FULL-FRAME ON a larger-than-life, full-figure portrait of VIGO
THE CARPATHIAN, a demented and sadistic 16th century despot with an
incredibly powerful evil presence.  Then we PULL BACK to reveal the
studio, which is a large open space on the top floor of the museum, lit
by large skylights in the ceiling.  Working on the Vigo painting is
JANOSZ POHA, a youngish art historian and painter, the head of the
department, quirky, intense and somewhat creepy.  Janosz is staring
longingly across the room at Dana.

DANA

She is carefully cleaning a 19th Century landscape painting, still
preoccupied by the extraordinary near-accident with the buggy.  Janosz
watches her for a moment, then comes up behind her and looks over her
shoulder.

JANOSZ
(with an East European accent)
Still working on the Turner?

Dana jumps, startled by the intrusion.

DANA
Oh, yes, I got in a little late this morning,
Janosz.

JANOSZ
You know, you are really doing very good work
here.  I think soon you may be ready to assist
me in some of the more important restorations.

DANA
Thank you, Janosz.  I’ve learned a lot here,
but now that my baby’s a little older, I was
hoping to rejoin the orchestra.

VIGO PAINTING

At the mention of Dana’s baby, the figure of Vigo miraculously turns his
head and looks at Dana.

JANOSZ AND DANA

Neither of them notice the movement in the painting.

JANOSZ
(disappointed)
We’ll be very sorry to lose you.  Perhaps I
could take you to lunch today?

DANA
Actually, I’m not eating lunch today.  I have
an appointment.
(looks at her watch)
In fact, I’d better go.

She starts gathering up her things.

JANOSZ
Every day I ask you, and every day you’ve got
something else to do.  Do I have bad breath
or something?

DANA
(trying to brush him off)
I’m sorry.  Perhaps some other time.

JANOSZ
Okay, I’ll take a raincheck on that.

Janosz smiles at her as she exits, then goes back to his easel.

JANOSZ
(to himself)
I think she likes me.

He switches on an English language TAPE and starts practicing the
phrases as he resumes working.

CUT TO:

EXT. UNIVERSITY - DAY

Dana Barrett crosses the quad and enters a modern building.  A sign
identifies it as "The Institute for Advanced Theoretical Research."

INT. UNIVERSITY - DAY (A LITTLE LATER)

Dana is explaining the buggy incident to EGON SPENGLER, the soberly
intellectual techno-wizard and former Ghostbuster, as he conducts an
experiment assisted by a research team of graduate students, all of whom
are Japanese, Chinese, or Korean.  The device he is testing is a black
box about the size of a Sony Watchman with both digital and graphic
displays.

DANA
... and then the buggy just suddenly stopped
dead in the middle of the street

SPENGLER

Did anyone else see this happen?

DANA
Hundreds of people.  Believe me, I didn’t
imagine this.

SPENGLER
I’m not saying you did.  In science we always
look for the simplest explanation.

An ASSISTANT interrupts.

ASSISTANT
We’re ready, Dr. Spengler

SPENGLER
(to the Assistant)
We’ll start with the negative calibration.

He picks up the device and prepares to test it.

DANA
(curious)
What are you working on, Egon?

SPENGLER
I’m trying to determine whether human
emotional states have a measurable effect on
the psychomagnetheric energy field.  It’s a
theory Ray and I were working on when we had
to dissolve Ghostbusters.

An assistant draws a curtain revealing a large picture window, actually
a two-way mirror, that looks into a small waiting room.  Inside the
waiting room they can see but not hear a youngish couple having a heated
arguement.

SPENGLER
(to Dana)
They think they’re here for marriage
counseling.  We’ve kept them waiting for two
hours and we’ve been gradually increasing the
temperature in the room.
(checking a heat sensor)
It’s up to 95 degrees at the moment.  Now my
assistant is going to enter and ask them if
they’d mind waiting another half-hour.

As Spengler, Dana, and the research team watch, the assistant enters the
waiting room and tells the couple about the new delay.  They explode
with anger both at him and each other while Spengler monitors them
through the glass.  After recording his readings, he returns to his
Assistant.

SPENGLER
We’ll do the happiness index next.
(to Dana)
I’d like to bring Ray in on your case, if
it’s all right with you.

DANA
Okay, whatever you think -- but not Venkman.

SPENGLER
Oh no.

DANA
(affectedly casual)
Do you ever see him?

SPENGLER
Occasionally

DANA
How is he these days?

SPENGLER
Venkman?  I think he was borderline for a
while there.  Then he crossed the border.

DANA
Does he ever mention me?

SPENGLER
No.  Not that I can recall.

They move to another two-way mirror through which they can see a lovely
little girl playing with a wonderful array of toys.

DANA
(slightly disappointed)
Well, we didn’t part on very good terms and
we sort of lost track of each other when I
got married.

The Assistant interrupts again.

ASSISTANT
We’re ready for the affection test.

SPENGLER
(to the assistant)
Good.  Send in the puppy.

DANA
(continuing)
I thought of calling him after my marriage
ended, but --.  Anyway, I appreciate you’re
doing this, Egon

They watch as another assistant enters the playroom with an adorable
Cocker Spaniel puppy and gives it to the little girl.  Spengler monitors
her as she jumps for joy and hugs the little dog.

DANA
(handing him a card)
This is my address and telephone number.
Will you call me?

SPENGLER
Certainly.

DANA
Egon, I’d rather you didn’t mention any of
this to Peter if you don’t mind.

SPENGLER
I won’t.

DANA
Thank you.

She shakes his hand and exits.

SPENGLER
(to his assistant)
Now let’s see how she reacts when we take
away the puppy

CUT TO:

EXT. RAY’S OCCULT BOOK STORE - DAY (LATER)

It’s a small basement shop located on a quaint commercial block in
Greenwich Village.  The window is crowded with occult artifacts and old
books full of arcane metaphysical lore.  The TELEPHONE RINGS.

STANTZ
(v.o., answering the phone)
Ray’s Occult.

INT. RAY’S OCCULT BOOKS - CONTINUOUS

The shelves are jammed floor to ceiling with books on the paranormal.
Ray sits on a barstool behind the counter wearing an old cardigan
sweater over a T-shirt.  He has on a pair of reading glasses and chews
on a battered, reeking pipe.  As he talks on the phone he prepares a cup
of herb tea for Spengler who is thumbing through an arcane text.

STANTZ
(on the phone)
Yeah ... mmhmm ... What do you need? ... What
have I got?  I’ve got alchemy, astrology,
apparitions, Bundu Magic Men, demon
intercession, U.F.O. abductions, psychic
surgery, stigmata, modern miracles, pixie
sightings, golden geese, geists, ghosts, I’ve
got it all -- what are you looking for? ...
Don’t have any.  Try the stockyards.

He hangs up.

SPENGLER
Who was that?

STANTZ
Some crank.  Looking for goat hooves.  Come
up with anything?

SPENGLER
(referring to the book)
This one’s interesting.  Berlin, 1939, a
flower cart took off by itself and rolled
approximately half a kilometer over level
ground.  Three hundred eyewitnesses.

STANTZ
You might want to check those Duke University
mean averaging studies on controlled
psychokinesis.

SPENGLER
(going to the stacks)
Good idea.

The bones hanging over the door rattle as Venkman enters the shop.

VENKMAN
Oh, hello, perhaps you could help me.  I’m
looking for an aerosol love potion I could
spray on a certain Penthouse Pet that would
make her unconditionally submit to an unusual
personal request.

STANTZ
Oh, hiya, Pete.

VENKMAN
So, no goat hooves, huh?

STANTZ
(strung)
I knew that voice sounded familiar.  What’s
up?  How’s it going?

VENKMAN
Nowhere -- fast.  Why don’t you lock up and
buy me a sub?

STANTZ
(slightly evasive)
Uh, I can’t.  I’m kind of working on something.

Spengler steps out of the stacks.

VENKMAN
Egon!

SPENGLER
Hello, Venkman.

VENKMAN
How’ve you been?  How’s teaching?  I bet
those science chicks really dig that big
cranium of yours, huh?

SPENGLER
I think they’re more interested in my
epididymis.

VENKMAN
I don’t even want to know where that is.

Venkman steps behind the counter and takes a beer from Ray’s mini-fridge.

STANTZ
Oh, your book came in, Venkman.  Magical
Paths to Fortune and Power.

He hands Venkman the book.

VENKMAN
Great.
(reading the contents)
So what are you guys working on?

STANTZ
Oh, just checking something for an old friend.

VENKMAN
Who?

STANTZ
(at a loss)
Who?  Just -- someone we know.

VENKMAN
Oh, Ray --

He grabs Stantz by both ears and pulls up.

VENKMAN
Who?  Who?  Who?

STANTZ
Aaah!  Nobody!  I can’t tell you!

VENKMAN
Who, Ray?

STANTZ
(giving in)
Dana!  Dana Barrett!

Venkman lets go of his ears and smiles.  Spengler looks at Stantz and
shakes his head.

CUT TO:

INT. DANA’S APARTMENT - DAY (LATER)

The apartment is old and creatively furnished with a comfortable mix of
modern and traditional pieces.  Maria, a young Hispanic woman who does
day care for Dana, is feeding the baby in the kitchen when the DOORBELL
RINGS.

CUT TO:

Dana enters from the bedroom and crosses to the front door.  She opens
it and admits Ray and Egon.

DANA
(hugging Ray)
Hi, Ray.  It’s good to see you.  Thanks for
coming.

STANTZ
No problem.  Always glad to help -- and hug.

DANA
(to Spengler)
Hi, Egon.

She shakes his hand and is about to close the door when Venkman appears
in the doorway.

VENKMAN
Hi, Dana.

Dana is caught completely off guard by Venkman’s surprise appearance.

VENKMAN
I knew you’d come crawling back to me.

She regards him coolly, as always amused and amazed at his
presumptuousness.

DANA
Hello, Peter.

VENKMAN
(to Dana)
You know, Dana, I’m very very hurt that you
didn’t call me first.  I’m still into all
this stuff, you know.  Haven’t you ever seen
my show?

DANA
I have.  That’s why I didn’t call you first.

VENKMAN
I can see that you’re still very bitter about
us, but in the interest of science, I’m going
to give it my best shot.  Let’s go to work,
boys.

Stantz and Spengler begin a comprehensive parapsychological work-up on
the baby and the immediate physical environment.

VENKMAN AND DANA

Venkman starts nosing around the apartment.  Dana follows him.

VENKMAN
So what happened to Mr. Right?  I hear he
ditched you and the kid and moved to Europe.

DANA
He didn’t "ditch" me.  We had some problems,
he got a good offer from an orchestra in
England and he took it.

VENKMAN
He ditched you.  You should’ve married me,
you know.

DANA
You never asked me, and every time I brought
it up you’d get drowsy and fall asleep.

VENKMAN
Men are very sensitive, you know.  We need to
feel loved and desired, too.

DANA
Well, when you started introducing me as "the
old ball and chain," that’s when I left.

VENKMAN
I may have a few personal problems but one thing
I am is a total professional.

He leaves her and crosses to Spengler.

SPENGLER

He’s taking a complete set of body and head measurements of the baby
with a tape measure and calipers.

VENKMAN
What are you going to do, Egon?  Knit him a
snowsuit?

Spengler ignores the remark and hands Venkman a specimen jar.

SPENGLER
I’d like to have a stool specimen

VENKMAN
Yeah, you would.  Is that for personal or
professional reasons?

VENKMAN
(picking up the baby)
Okay, kid.  Up you go.

He starts clowning with the baby, holding him over his head and pressing
his nose into the baby’s belly, pretending that the baby is attacking
him.

VENKMAN
Help!  Please somebody help me!  Get him off!
Quickly!  He’s gone completely berserk!

Dana is amused and somewhat disarmed by Venkman’s rapport with the baby.

DANA
What do you think?

VENKMAN
There’s no doubt about it.  He’s got his
father’s looks.  The kid is ugly -- extremely
ugly.  And smelly.
(resumes playing with the baby)
You stink!  It’s just horrible.  You are the
stinkiest baby I ever smelled.
(to Dana)
What’s his name?

DANA
His name is Oscar.

VENKMAN
Oscar!  You poor kid!

DANA
(losing patience)
Peter, this is serious.  I need to know if you
think there’s anything unusual about him.

VENKMAN
Unusual?
(holds up the baby and
scrutinizes him)
I don’t know.  I haven’t had a lot of
experience with babies.

He looks at the baby, pulling his feet up, trying to get the sleeper
off.

DANA
(taking the specimen jar)
I’ll do it.

VENKMAN
I’ll supervise.

INT. DANA’S APARTMENT - NURSERY - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Venkman enters and finds Stantz monitoring the room.

VENKMAN
(to Stantz)
Well, Holmes, what do you think?

STANTZ
It’s an interesting one, Pete.  If anything
was going on it’s totally subdued now.

Spengler enters.

VENKMAN
(to Spengler)
What now, Brainiac?

SPENGLER
I think we should see if we can find
anything abnormal on the street.

VENKMAN
Finding something abnormal on the street
shouldn’t be too hard.

CUT TO:

EXT. EAST 77TH STREET - DAY (LATER)

Dana walks down the street with Venkman, retracing the path of the
runaway buggy.  Spengler and Stantz follow, monitoring PKE valences from
the pavement and the buildings.

VENKMAN
(to Dana, nostalgic)
Brings back a lot of sweet memories, doesn’t
it?
(pointing out familiar
neighborhood sights)
There’s our old cash machine.  And the dry
cleaners we used to go to.  And the old
video store.
(he wipes away an imaginary
tear)
We really had some good times, didn’t we?

DANA
We definitely had a moment or two.

Dana stops at the intersection and points to the middle of the street.

DANA
That’s where the buggy stopped.

VENKMAN
Okay, let’s take a look.

Venkman walks right out into the middle of the street, completely
oblivious to the CARS HONKING and whizzing past him and starts motioning
like a traffic cop, bringing traffic to a standstill.  Then he signals
for Dana, Stantz and Spengler to join him in the middle of the street.

STANTZ
(reading the PKE meter)
Is this the spot?

DANA
A little to the left.  Right there!  That’s
where it stopped.

Stantz reads the PKE meter.

STANTZ
Nothing.  Not a trace.

SPENGLER
Why don’t we try the Giga-meter?

VENKMAN
What’s that?

STANTZ
Egon and I have been working on a gauge to
measure psychomagnetheric energy in GEVs -
giga electron volts.

SPENGLER
That’s a thousand million electron volts.

VENKMAN
I knew that.

Spengler switches on the Giga-meter, the device he was testing in the
lab, and passes it over the spot on the street where the buggy stopped.
The indicator goes right into the red zone and the DEVICE starts CLICKING
WILDLY.

STANTZ
I think we hit the honeypot, boys.  There’s
something brewing under the street.

DANA
(worried, to Venkman)
Peter, do you think maybe I have some genetic
problem or something that makes me vulnerable
to these supernatural things.

VENKMAN
You mean like the time you got possessed and
turned into a monster terror dog?  No, not
a chance.  Total coincidence.
(to Stantz and Spengler)
Am I right?

Stantz and Spengler look at him skeptically, not convinced by the
coincidence theory.

CUT TO:

INT.  MANHATTAN MUSEUM OF ART - LATE AFTERNOON

The museum has just closed for the day and the last of the visitors and
employees are leaving.

INT.  RESTORATION STUDIO - SAME TIME

Janosz is working late on the painting of Vigo.

VIGO PAINTING

Unnoticed by Janosz, the eyes of Vigo start to glow.

JANOSZ

He touches his brush to the canvas and a powerful current of red,
crackling energy surges through the brush and courses through his body,
driving him to his knees.

PAINTING

The figure of Vigo comes to life, turns toward Janosz and gestures
dramatically at him.  Then he speaks to Janosz in a commanding voice.

VIGO
I, Vigo, the scourge of Carpathia, the
sorrow of Moldavia, command you.

JANOSZ
(in agony)
Command me, lord.

VIGO
On a mountain of skulls in a castle of pain,
I sat on a throne of blood.  What was will
be, what is will be no more.  Now is the
season of evil.  Find me a child that I might
live again.

Bolts of red-hot energy shoot from the eyes of Vigo into Janosz’s eyes.
He screams and falls to his knees.

CUT TO:

EXT. COFFEE SHOP - EAST 77TH STREET - NIGHT

Venkman and Stantz come out with small boxes containing coffee,
sandwiches and Danish and start walking up the street.

VENKMAN
I love this.  We’re onto something really
big.  I can smell it, Ray.  We’re going to
make some headlines with this one.

STANTZ
Hey, hey, hey, stresshound!  Are you nuts?
If anybody found out about this we’d be in
serious trouble.  The judge couldn’t have
been clearer - no ghostbusting.

VENKMAN
Relax.  We’re going to keep this whole thing
nice and quiet, low key, no profile.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Spengler, wearing a hardhat, is JACKHAMMERING a hole in the middle of the
street.  Safety cones and reflectors have been set up and a small area is
lit by strong work lights.

POLICE CAR

It turns onto East 77th Street, cruises slowly up to the makeshift
worksite and stops.  The noise of the JACKHAMMER is so loud, Spengler
doesn’t notice the police car and the two COPS inside looking at them.
Finally, he looks up, sees the police car and freezes.

FIRST COP
How ya doing?

SPENGLER
(reeking with guilt)
Fine!  It’s cutting fine now.

FIRST COP
(curious)
Why are you cutting?

SPENGLER
(looking for one of the
others)
Why are we cutting?  Uh - boss!

Venkman and Stantz arrive just in time wearing Con Ed hardhats, doing a
good imitation of a Consolidated Edison repairman.

FIRST COP
What are you doing here?

VENKMAN
(belligerent)
What the hell’s it look like we’re doing?
We’re bustin out asses over here ’cause
some douchebag downtown ain’t got nothin’
better to do than make idiots like us work
late on a Friday night, right?
(looks to Spengler for
agreement)

SPENGLER
(with a "right on" fist)
Yo.

The cops seem satisfied by the explanation.

FIRST COP
Okay, boys, take it easy.

They drive off.  Spengler breathes a great sigh of relief and starts
rubbing his sore shoulders.

SPENGLER
You were supposed to help me with this.

VENKMAN
You need the exercise.

Stantz resumes JACKHAMMERING, while Venkman and Spengler clear the
rubble from the hole.  Suddenly he hits metal.  They clear away
generations of paving material revealing an ornate iron manhole cover.
The manhole cover bears a strange logo and the letters NYPRR.

STANTZ
(examing it)
NYPRR.  What the hell -- ?  Help me lift
this.

They prey off the iron cover with crowbars, uncovering a very dark and
very deep abyss.

STANTZ
(shining a flashlight into
the hole)
Wow!  It’s an old airshaft.  It just goes
forever.

Spengler leans in with the giga-meter which is reading even higher now.

SPENGLER
Very intense.  We need a deeper reading.
Somebody has to go down there.

Venkman and Spengler both look at Ray.

STANTZ
Thanks, boys.

They snap Stantz into a harness and lower him into the hole on a strong
cable attached to a winch.  Ray calls out orders to them as he descends
deeper and deeper.

STANTZ (O.S.)
(his voice echoing in the
airshaft)
Keep going -- more -- more --

INT.  HOLE - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Stantz rappels off the sides of the airshaft as he continues his descent
in total darkness.

STANTZ
(using a radio now)
Lower -- lower --
(to himself)
Gee, this really is deep.

Suddenly, his feet kick thin air as he gets to the bottom of the airshaft
and swings free in some kind of tunnel.

STANTZ
(shouts)
Hold it!  Steady!

He pulls a powerful flashlight from his utility belt and shines it into
the tunnel below.

INT.  VAN HORNE STATION - STANTZ’S POV - NIGHT

He is suspended near the top of a beautifully preserved chamber with
rounded, polished tile walls ardorned with intricate, colorfully enameled
Art Nouveau mosaics.  A finely inlaid sign identifies it as VAN HORNE
STATION.

STANTZ

He pans the walls with his flashlight, admiring the excellent tilework,
and speaks quietly to Venkman and Spengler over his walkie-talkie.

STANTZ
(reverently)
This is it, boys, the end of the line.  Van
Horne Station.  The old New York Pneumatic.
It’s still here.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - HOLE - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Venkman has no idea what he’s talking about.

SPENGLER
(explaining)
The New York Pneumatic Railway.  It was an
experimental subway system.  Fan-forced
air-trains, built around 1870.

STANTZ
(over the walkie-talkie)
This is about as deep as you can go under
Manhattan without digging your own hole.

SPENGLER
(to Stantz)
What’s the reading?

INT.  VAN HORNE STATION - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Stantz shines his flashlight on the meter and whistles at the extremely
high reading.

STANTZ
(on the radio)
Off the top of the scale.  This place is
really hot.  Lower me to the floor.

As Venkman and Spengler feed him some more cable, he pans his flashlight
down the wall of the station, then onto the floor.

STANTZ
(shouts)
Hold it!!  Stop!!  Whoa!!

INT. VAN HORNE STATION - STANTZ’S POV - FLOOR - NIGHT

Below him is a river of bubbling seething, glowing slime, a veritable
torrent of disgusting ooze.

As he stares into the foul effluent, we become aware of the strangely
amplified and magnified sounds of great ENGINES THROBBING and pulsing in
the bowels of the city, of WATER RUSHING through pipes, STEAM HISSING
through ducts, the muffled RUMBLE of the SUBWAY and the ROAR of TRAFFIC,
and mixed with it all, the unmistakable sounds of human conflict and pain
-- VOICES SHOUTING in anger, SCREAMING in fear, GROANING in pain, a sad
and eerie symphony.

INT.  VAN HORNE STATION - STANTZ - NIGHT

STANTZ
(ranting on the radio)
Oh, my God!  It’s a seething, bubbling,
psychic cess!  Interlocked tubes of plasm,
crackling with negative GEVs!  It’s glowing
and moving!  It’s -- it’s a river of slime!!

STANTZ

He dangles from the end of the cable, holding his feet up as high as he
can.  He unhooks a device from his utility belt and pulls the trigger on
it, shooting out a long telescoping fishing-pole with a scoop on the end.
Reaching down, he scoops up a sample of the slime and starts retracting
the pole.

SLIME

Suddenly, a grotesque arm with a long skeletal fingers reaches up out of
the slime and snatches at Stantz’s dangling feet.  He jerks his legs up
as several more arms poke up out of the slime and reach for him.

STANTZ
(on the radio)
Haul me up, Venkman!  Now!

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - HOLE - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Venkman and Spengler start hauling in the cable as a Con Ed Supervisor’s
car drives up, and behind it, the same police car they saw earlier.  A
burly SUPERVISOR gets out and crosses toward them, followed by the two
cops.

SUPERVISOR
(no nonsense)
Okay, what’s the story here?

Venkman and Spengler stop pulling up the cable and Venkman tries the
belligerent worker ploy again, only this time he’s wearing a Nynex
hardhat.

VENKMAN
What, I got time for this?  We got three
thousand phones out in the Village and about
eight million miles of cable to check.

SUPERVISOR
(not buying it)
The phone lines are over there.
(points to the curb)

Venkman pops Spengler on the head.

VENKMAN
I told ya!

Stantz can be heard ranting over Venkman’s walkie-talkie.

STANTZ (O.S.)
(filtered)
Help!  Help!  Pull me up!  It’s alive!  It’s
eating my boots.

Venkman switches off the walkie-talkie.

FIRST COP
You ain’t with Con Ed or the phone company.
We checked.  Tell me another one.

Venkman stares at the Cop for a long moment.

VENKMAN
Gas leak?

INT.  VAN HORNE STATION - SAME TIME

Stantz is hanging there, looking down into the shaft at the slime which
is now bubbling up the shaft after him.

STANTZ
(shouting)
Get me out of here!!

Desperate now, he kicks wildly and knocks loose a section of an old,
rusting conduit.

INT.  VAN HORNE STATION - BOTTOM OF THE SHAFT

The conduit falls on a heavy electrical transmission line, ripping
through the cable with a SHOWER OF SPARKS.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - HOLE - CONTINUOUS ACTION

Venkman, Spengler, the cops and the supervisor all react to a bright
FLASH deep down in the hole and a SHOUT from Stantz.

EXT.  EAST 77TH STREET - STREET - NIGHT

One by one, all the streetlights go out; then the lights on all the
buildings along East 77th street; then the whole neighborhood blacks
out, and finally the entire city is plunged into darkness.

STANTZ (O.S.)
Sorry.

INT. DANA BARRETT’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (SAME TIME)

She walks around in the dark lighting candles and placing them all over
the living room.  Then she finds a transistor radio and turns it on for
information about the blackout.  She listens to a special news report
for a moment, then has a compelling impulse to go check on the baby.
She crosses to the nursery carrying a candle and quietly opens the door
and looks in.  Suddenly the DOORBELL RINGS, scaring her half to death.
Leaving the chain on the door, she opens it a crack and sees Janosz
standing in the hall, eerily lit by a red emergency spot at the end of
the hallway.  He looks slightly dazed and even creepier.

DANA
(surprised)
Janosz?

JANOSZ
Hello, Dana.  I happened to be in the
neighborhood and I thought I’d stop by to
see if everything’s all right with you --
you know, with the blackout and everything?
Are you okay?  Is the baby all right?

His affected concern is chilling.  She is frightened but conceals it
from him.

DANA
(mechanically and cautiously)
We’re fine, Janosz.

He tires to look around her into the apartment.

JANOSZ
Do you need anything?  You want me to come
in?

DANA
No, everything’s fine.  Honestly.  Thanks
anyway.

JANOSZ
Okay, just thought I’d check.  Good night,
Dana.  Sleep well.  Don’t let the bedbugs
bite you.

DANA
Good night, Janosz.

She closes the door behind him and double locks it, then stands there
staring into the candlelight, alone and afraid.

INT.  HALLWAY OF DANA’S BUILDING - NIGHT (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Janosz stands there in semi-darkness, then his eyes light up like
headlights and he walks off down the hall.

CUT TO:

INT.  COURTROOM - WITNESS STAND - NEXT DAY

The JUDGE, a rather sour-looking jurist of the old school, calls the
court to order.

JUDGE
I want to make one thing very clear before
we go any further.  The law does not recognize
the existence of ghosts, and I don’t believe
in them either, so I don’t want to hear a
lot of malarkey about goblins and spooks and
demons.  We’re going to stick to the facts
in this case and save the ghost stories for
the kiddies.  Understood?

DEFENSE TABLE

Stantz leans over and whispers to Spengler.

STANTZ
Seems like a pretty open-minded guy, huh?

SPENGLER
His nickname is "The Hammer."

Stantz and Spengler are seated with their attorney LOUIS TULLY, lawyer,
CPA and former demonic possession victim.  Louis is desperately paging
through a mountain of legal textbooks.

LOUIS
(nervous)
I think you’re making a big mistake here,
fellas.  I do mostly tax law and some probate
stuff occasionally.  I got my law degree at
night school.

STANTZ
That’s all right.  We got arrested at night.

SPECTATORS’ GALLERY

Venkman is talking to Dana at the wooden rail in front of the gallery.

DANA
I wish I could stay.  I feel personally
responsible for you being here.

VENKMAN
You are personally responsible.  If I can
get conjugal rights, will you visit me at
Sing Sing?

DANA
Please don’t say that.  You won’t go to prison.

VENKMAN
Don’t worry about me.  I’m like a cat.

DANA
You mean you cough up hairballs all over
the rug?

VENKMAN
I’m El Gato.  I always land on my feet.

DANA
(sincerely)
Good luck.

VENKMAN
Thanks.

She gives him a quick, unexpected kiss and exits.  Venkman savors it for
a moment then goes back to the defense table.

PROSECUTION TABLE

Jack Hardemeyer, the mayor’s principal aide, is goading the PROSECUTOR,
a very sober, humorless woman in her late thirties.

HARDEMEYER
How are you doing, hon?  Just put these guys
away fast and make sure they go away for a
long, long time.

PROSECUTOR
It shouldn’t be hard with this list of charges.

HARDEMEYER
Good.  Very good.  The mayor and future
governor won’t forget this.

He smiles conspiratorially and makes a point of passing the defense table
on his way out of the courtroom.

DEFENSE TABLE

The Ghostbusters look up as Hardemeyer approaches.

HARDEMEYER
(gloating)
Nice going, Venkman.  Violating a judicial
restraining order, willful destruction of
public property, fraud, malicious mischief
-- smooth move.  See you in a couple years
-- at your first parole hearing.

Herdemeyer exits.  Louis looks devastated.

LOUIS
Gee, the whole city’s against us.  I think
I’m going to be sick.

Spengler hands him a waste basket as the Prosecutor calls her first
witness.

INT.  COURTROOM - WITNESS STAND - DAY (LATER)

The Con Ed Supervisor is testifying.

PROSECUTOR
Mr. Fianella, please look at Exhibits A
through F on the table over there.  Do you
recognize that equipment?

EXHIBIT TABLE

Lying on the table are the basic tools of the Ghostbusting trade: three
proton packs and particle throwers, a couple of ghost traps, and various
meters and detection devices.

CON ED
(o.c.)
That’s the stuff the cops found in their
truck.

WITNESS STAND

She continues.

PROSECUTOR
Do you know what this equipment is used for?

CON ED
(shrugs)
I don’t know.  Catching ghosts, I guess.

PROSECUTOR
(to the Judge)
May I remind the court that the defendants
are under a judicial restraining order that
specifically forbids them from performing
services as paranormal investigators and
eliminators.

JUDGE
So noted.

PROSECUTOR
Now, Mr. Fianella, can you identify the
substance in the jar on the table marked
Exhibit F?

PROSECUTOR

She goes to the exhibit table and picks up a specimen jar containing the
slime sample Stantz removed from the tunnel.

CON ED
I been working underground for Con Ed for
27 years and I never saw anything like that
in my life.  We checked out that tunnel the
next day and we didn’t find nothing.  If it
was down there, they must have put it there.

DEFENSE TABLE

Venkman and Spengler look at Stantz.

STANTZ
(defensively)
Hey, I didn’t imagine it.  There must have
been ten thousand gallons of it down there.

SPENGLER
It may be ebbing and flowing from some tidal
source.

LOUIS
(nervously)
Should I say that?

SPENGLER
I doubt that they’d believe us.

Louis moans and goes back to his notes.

WIPE TO:

INT.  COURTROOM - WITNESS STAND - LATER

Venkman himself is on the stand and Louis is questioning him.

LOUIS
So like you were just trying to help out
your old friend because she was scared and
you didn’t really mean to do anything bad
and you really love the city and won’t ever
do anything like this again, right?

PROSECUTOR
Objection, your Honor.  He’s leading the
witness.

JUDGE
The witness is leading him.  Sustained.

LOUIS
Okay, let me rephrase that question.
(to venkman)
Didn’t you once coach a basketball team for
underprivileged children?

VENKMAN
Yes, I did.  We were city champs.

PROSECUTOR
Objection.  Irrelevant and immaterial.

JUDGE
Sustained.  Mr. Tully, do you have anything
to ask this witness that may have some
bearing on this case?

LOUIS
(to Venkman)
Do I?

VENKMAN
No, I think you’ve helped them enough already.

LOUIS
(to the Judge)
No, I guess not.
(to the Prosecutor)
Your witness.

The Prosecutor rises and approaches the witness stand with relish.

PROSECUTOR
So, Dr. Venkman, please explain to the court
why it is you and your co-defendants took it
upon yourselves to dig a big hole in the
middle of the street.

VENKMAN
Seventy-seventh and First Avenue has so many
holes already we didn’t think anyone would
notice.

The gallery laughs and the Judge gavels for order.

JUDGE
Keep that up, mister, and I’ll find you in
contempt.

VENKMAN
Sorry, your Honor, but when somebody sets
me up like that I can’t resist.

PROSECUTOR
I’ll ask you again, Dr. Venkman.  Why were
you digging the hole?  And please remember
that you’re under oath.

VENKMAN
I had my fingers crossed when they swore me
in, but I’m going to tell you the truth.
There are things in this world that go way
beyond human understanding, things that
can’t be explained and that most people don’t
want to know about anyway.  That’s where we
come in.

PROSECUTOR
So what are you saying?  That the world of
the supernatural is your special province?

VENKMAN
No, I guess I’m just saying that shit happens
and somebody has to deal with it.

The spectators in the gallery cheer and the judge gavels for order.

WIPE TO:

INT.  COURTROOM - LATER

The trial is nearing its end.  The Judge calls on Louis to make his
summation.

JUDGE
Does the counsel for the defense wish to
make any final arguements?

Louis rises.

LOUIS
Your honor, may I approach the bench?

JUDGE
(impatient)
Yes.

Louis crosses to the judge’s bench.

LOUIS
(to the judge)
Can I have some of your water?

JUDGE
Get on with it, counselor!

LOUIS
(scared)
Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the --
(he remembers there’s no
jury)
audience.  I don’t think it’s fair to call
my clients frauds.  Okay, the blackout was
a big problem for everybody.  I was stuck in
an elevator for about three hours and I had
to go to the bathroom the whole time, but I
don’t blame them because once I turned into
a dog and they helped me.  Thank you.

He goes back to the defense table and sits down.  Stantz and Spengler
hang their heads.  Venkman pats Louis on the back.

SPENGLER
(to Louis)
Way to go.  Concise and to the point.

JUDGE

He stares at Louis, astonished at his summation.

JUDGE
That’s it?  That’s all you have to say?

LOUIS
Did I forget something?

He searches through a disorderly pile of notes.

JUDGE
That was unquestionably the worst
presentation of a case I’ve ever heard in a
court of law!  I ought to cite you for
contempt and have you disbarred.  As for
your clients, Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz
and Egon Spengler, on the charges of
conspiracy, fraud and the willful destruction
of public property, I find you guilty on all
counts.  I order you to pay fines in the
amount of ,000 each and I sentence you to
eighteen months in the city correctional
facility at Ryker’s Island.

STANTZ

He sees the activity in the jar

STANTZ
Uh-oh, she’s twitchin’.

THE BENCH

The Judge continues

JUDGE
And on a more personal note, let me go on
record as saying that there is no place in
decent society for fakes, charlatans and
tricksters like you who prey on the
gullibility of innocent people.  You’re
beneath the contempt of this court.  And
believe me, if my hands were not tied by the
unalterable fetters of the law, a law which
has become in my view far too permissive and
inadequate in it’s standards of punishment,
I would invoke the tradition of our
illustrious forebearers, reach back to a
sterner, purer justice and have you burned
at the stake!

He hammers the bench with his gravel as the gallery erupts noisily.  Then
he feels a LOW RUMBLING TREMOR in the courtroom.

SPECIMEN JAR

The slime starts to pulse and swell, pushing up the lid on the jar.

DEFENSE TABLE

Stantz anticipates big trouble.

STANTZ
Under the table, boys!

The Ghostbusters duck under the defense table.

LOUIS

He stands up and looks around fearfully.

INT.  COURTROOM - GHOST BATTLE - DAY

Everybody is silent now as the rumbling increases.  All eyes turn to the
exhibit table.  Then suddenly all Hell breaks loose as TWO FULL-TORSO
APPARITIONS explode out of the specimen jar.

JUDGE

He looks up in terror at the two huge apparitions looming above him and
recognizes them immediately.

JUDGE
(in horror)
Oh, my God!  The Scoleri Brothers!

SCOLERI BROTHERS

Big in life, even bigger in death, the ghostly Scoleri brothers seem ten
feet tall.  They are strapped into electric chairs and on their heads are
metal electrocution caps with live, sparking electrical wires still
attached.  Twenty-five hundred volts of electricity shoot through their
bodies as they start to break free of the leather restraints, trying to
get at the Judge.

JUDGE

Holding his gavel like a pitiful weapon, he crawls over to the defense
table where Venkman, Stantz and Spengler are now crouched, assessing the
spectral intruders.

JUDGE
(terrified)
You’ve got to do something!

VENKMAN
Who are they?

JUDGE
They’re the Scoleri Brothers.  I tried them
for murder.  They were electrocuted up at
Ossining in ’48.  Now they want to kill me.

VENKMAN
Maybe they just want to appeal.

SCOLERI BROTHERS

They break loose from the electric chairs, then turn toward the defense
table and BLAST it with HIGH-VOLTAGE FINGER-LIGHTNING.

PROSECUTOR

She sprints for the door, pursued by one of the Scoleri brothers.

GHOSTBUSTERS

They jump to safety behind the rail of the jury box, pulling the Judge
with them.

VENKMAN
These boys aren’t playing around.

JUDGE
(desperately)
You’ve got to stop them.  Please!

LOUIS
(thinking like a lawyer)
Violating a judicial restraining order could
expose my clients to serious criminal
penalties.  As their attorney I’d have to
advise them against it.

SCOLERI BROTHERS

They start punching through the jury box.

JUDGE

He is just about hysterical with fear.

JUDGE
All right!  All right!  I’m recinding the
order.  Case dismissed!!
(he pounds his gavel on
the floor)
Now do something!

STANTZ
Let’s go to work, boys.

With that, the Ghostbusters leap over the rail of the jury box and dash
across the courtroom to the exhibit table where their proton packs were
being displayed as evidence.  They strap them on hastily as the Brothers
continue tearing up the seats looing for the Judge.

VENKMAN
(slinging the pack onto
his back)
Geez, I forgot how heavy these things are.

STANTZ
(grabbing other gear)
Okay, let’s heat ’em up!

They flip the power switches on their packs and draw their particle
throwers.

STANTZ
All right, throwers.  Set for full neutronas
on stream.

They switch on their throwers and turn to face the raging phantasms.

SCOLERI BROTHERS

They are just about to wipe out the Judge when a loud shout distracts
them.

VENKMAN
Hey!  Why don’t you pick on someone your own
size?

The towering ghosts turn in a fury and raise their arms, ready to shoot
lightning at their new adversaries.

STANTZ
(to the others)
On my signal, boys.  Open ’em up -- Now!

They all pull their triggers and the wands EXPLODE with incredible
powerful STREAMS OF ENERGY, doing even more damage to the courtroom.

VENKMAN
Spengs, take the door.  Ray, let’s try and
work them down and into the corner.

Working as a team, they gradually confine the Scoleri Brothers with the
streams, forcing them closer and closer to the traps Ray has set out on
the floor.

STANTZ
Watch it!  I’m coming under you, Pete.

They circle around the two ghosts, prodding them with the streams while
ducking the lightning bolts shooting from their fingers.  Finally, Ray
sees his chance and pops open the traps which emit inverted pyramids of
light energy.

STANTZ
Steady -- watch your streams -- easy now --
Venky, bring him left -- Spengy, pull him
down -- trapping -- trapping -- now!

He stomps on a control pedal and the Scoleri Brothers are drawn into the
traps which snap shut.

INT.  COURTROOM - TRAPS - DAY

LEDs on the outer casing start flashing, indicating the presence of a
ghost inside each trap.

VENKMAN
(checking the trap)
Occupado.

INT.  COURTROOM - JUDGE - DAY (AFTER GHOST BATTLE)

He sticks his head up slowly from behind the debris of his bench and
looks around in total amazement.

LOUIS

He crawls out from under a chair.  Reporters and spectators get back on
their feet and start buzzing about the incredible manifestation.

PROSECUTOR

She’s lying on the floor, attended to by the Bailiff and the Court Clerk.

SPENGLER
(to the Prosecutor)
Brilliant summation.

GHOSTBUSTERS

They break into big smiles as photographers start snapping pictures of
them standing in the wrecked courtroom.

VENKMAN
Case closed, boys.  We’re back in business.

The spectators cheer and applaud.

CUT TO:

EXT.  FIREHOUSE - DAY

The old, dilapidated Ghostbusters logo comes crashing to the ground,
dropped by a pair of workmen on a ladder, and the new logo is hoisted
into place over the main entrance.  It’s just like the original "No
Ghosts" logo, but in the new one the ghost in the red circle is holding
up two fingers.  Venkman enters the firehouse.

INT.  BEDROOM SET (TV COMMERCIAL - FULL SCREEN VIDEO) - NIGHT

A man and his wife are lying in bed reading.  The man is played by Louis
Tully and JANINE MELNITZ, the Ghostbusters’ once and future receptionist,
is playing his wife.  They are both terrible actors.  Suddenly, a ghost,
actually a very bad puppet on a wire, floats through the bedroom.  Janine
sees it and screams.

LOUIS
What is it, honey?

JANINE
It’s that darn ghost again!  I don’t know
what to do anymore.  He just won’t leave us
alone.  I guess we’ll just have to move.

LOUIS
Don’t worry.  We’re not moving.  He is.

He picks up the phone.

JANINE
Who are you going to call?

LOUIS
(with a wink)
Ghostbusters.

As he starts to dial, the CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal the Ghostbusters
standing in the bedroom.  Their acting isn’t much better than Louis and
Janine’s.

GHOSTBUSTERS

Stantz speaks directly TO the CAMERA.

STANTZ
I’m Ray --

VENKMAN
I’m Peter --

SPENGLER
I’m Egon --

STANTZ
And we’re the ...

ALL
(together)
Ghostbusters.

STANTZ
That’s right -- Ghostbusters.  We’re back
and we’re better than ever with twice the
know-how and twice the particle-power to
deal with all your supernatural elimination
needs.

During his speech, Winston can be seen in the b.g. pretending to trap the
fake ghost.

STANTZ
Careful, Winston.  He’s a mean one.
(TO CAMERA)
And to celebrate our grand reopening, we’re
giving you twice the value with our special
half-price ’Welcome Back’ service plan.

VENKMAN
Hold on, Ray!  Half-price!  Have you gone
crazy?

STANTZ
I guess so, Pete, because that’s not all.
Tell them what else we’ve got, Egon.

Spengler actually mouths everyone else’s dialogue along with them,
waiting for his cue.

SPENGLER
You mean the Ghostbusters hot beverage
thermal mugs and free balloons for the kids?

He holds up a mug and a limp, uninflated balloon.

STANTZ
You bet.

As Stantz wraps it up, SUPERS APPEAR at the bottom of the SCREEN: FULLY
BONDED - FULLY LICENSED - SE HABLA ESPANOL.

STANTZ
(TO CAMERA)
So don’t wait another minute.  Make your
supernatural problem our supernatural problem.
Call now, because we’re still --

ALL
(in unison, mechanically)
-- Ready to believe you.

CUT TO:

INT.  JACK HARDEMEYER’S OFFICE - DAY

Hardemeyer is watching the Ghostbusters commercial on a TV in his office.
He bangs his fist on his desk and angrily switches OFF the TV.

CUT TO:

EXT.  FIREHOUSE - DAY (LATER)

The garage door opens and the new improved ECTOMOBILE comes ROARING out
onto the street, its ghostly SIREN MOANING and WAILING.  Louis comes
running out after it.

CUT TO:

INT.  FIREHOUSE - DAY

Louis comes back into the garage bay and stops as he smells a foul odor.
He sniffs around, following the smell.

LOUIS
Oh, geez, smells like somebody took a really
big --

He freezes.

INT. OFFICE AREA - LOUIS’S POV

Slimer, a spud-like green ghost, is hovering over Louis’s desk, scarfing
down Louis’s bag lunch.  Slimer looks up and sees Louis.

SLIMER AND LOUIS

They both scream and run off in opposite directions.

SLIMER

He passes right through a wall and disappears.

LOUIS

He runs right into a wall, recovers and exits in a hurry.

LOUIS
(screaming)
Help!  There’s a thing!

CUT TO:

EXT.  CENTRAL PARK RESERVOIR - DAY (LATER)

Runners of both sexes and all ages are huffing and puffing as they jog
along the track that circles the reservoir.  One of the runners looks
behind him at the sound of APPROACHING FOOTFALLS and screams.

GHOSTLY JOGGER

A ghost jogger is loping along at a pretty fair pace.  Other runners
stumble and run screaming into the park as he passes them.  Seemingly
oblivious to the effect he’s having, the ghost jogger puts two fingers to
his skeletal neck and checks his watch as if taking his pulse.

EXT. CLEARING IN PARK - DAY (SAME TIME)

Venkman is sitting on a park bench near the jogging track reading the
newspaper, eating a donut and drinking coffee from a Styrofoam cup.

STANTZ

He’s sitting on a bench opposite Venkman’s, casually watching the jogging
track.

GHOST JOGGER

He approaches the benches where the Ghostbusters are waiting.  As the
ghost jogger passes the benches, Stantz and Venkman simultaneously hit
concealed control buttons.  A ghost trap buried in the track throws up a
glowing inverted pyramid and catches the ghost jogger in mid-stride.
Stantz and Venkman close the trap and capture the ghost jogger.

VENKMAN
(checking his watch)
You know he ran that last lap in under six
minutes?

STANTZ
If he wasn’t dead he’d be an Olympic
prospect.

CUT TO:

EXT.  JEWELRY STORE - DAY

The Ghostbusters come out carrying smoking traps, wearing cheap
dime-store Santa Claus hats.

STANTZ
(to the client)
Merry Christmas!

CUT TO:

EXT.  FIFTH AVENUE - ORREFORS GLASS STORE - DAY

The Ectomobile is parked at the curb and a curious crowd looks on as the
Ghostbusters enter the store.

INT.  ORREFORS GLASS STORE - CONTINUOUS ACTION

All the precious crystal is floating in the air, several feet above the
glass shelves and display tables.  Stantz and Venkman are talking to the
manager while Winston and Spengler set up an array of electronic devices
positioned in each corner of the store.

On a signal from Stantz, Spengler and Winston switch on the devices which
throw laser-type beams around the perimeter of the store.  The manager
watches in horror as all the GLASSWARE suddenly drops out of the air,
SMASHES through the GLASS SHELVES and SHATTERS on the display tables.
There is a long pregnant pause.

STANTZ
(to the manager)
So will that be cash or a check?

CUT TO:

INT.  MUSEUM - RESTORATION STUDIO - DAY (LATE AFTERNOON)

Everyone else has gone home.  Dana is cleaning her brushes and putting
her supplies away.

VIGO PAINTING - CONTINUOUS ACTION

Vigo turns his head and watches Dana as she walks past the painting.

DANA

She stops, vaguely aware of the movement, and looks up curiously at the
painting.  As she starts to walk on, Vigo looks at her again, but Dana
turns suddenly and catches the movement.  Frightened now, she hastily
leaves the studio.

INT.  FIREHOUSE - DAY

Louis is lurking behind a pillar, peeking out at the office area.  We PAN
DOWN TO the floor and see a foot pedal, then PAN ALONG the cord TO a
ghost trap sitting on Louis’s desk.  Hanging from strings over the desk
are several pieces of Kentucky fried chicken.

WALL

Slimer partially emerges and furtively sniffs the air, then spots the
chicken bait.  He licks his lips, materializes completely and flies to
the chicken.

LOUIS

His eyes light up and he stomps the foot pedal.

LOUIS
(shouts)
Gotcha!

DESK

The trap pops open and shoots out a powerful cone of energy.  Slimer
dodges it and escapes as a big section of the ceiling comes crashing down
on Louis’s desk.

LOUIS
(seeing the damage)
Uh-oh.

He slinks off, defeated.

CUT TO:

INT.  MANHATTAN MUSEUM OF ART - SECURITY DESK - DAY

The Ghostbusters commercial is playing on a portable TV on the security
desk.  Rudy, the Security Guard, is reading a National Enquirer with a
giant front-page headline: GHOSTBUSTERS SAVE JUDGE.  Venkman enters.

VENKMAN
I’m looking for Dana Barrett.

SECURITY GUARD
Room 304 -- Restorations.
(recognizing him)
Hey!  Dr. Venkman -- ’World of the Psychic.’
I’m a big, big fan.  That used to be one of
my two favorite shows.

VENKMAN
(flattered)
Thanks.  What’s the other one?

SECURITY GUARD
’Bass Masters.’  It’s a fishing show.  Ever
see it?

VENKMAN
Yeah, really great.  Take it easy.

He exits.

INT.  MUSEUM - RESTORATION STUDIO - DAY (MOMENTS LATER)

Dana is working on a valuable Flemish still-life by Ver Meer.  Janosz is
at the other end of the room, still working on the painting of Vigo.
Venkman enters and sneaks up behind Dana.

VENKMAN
(looking at the Ver Meer)
So this is what you do, huh?

DANA
(glad to see him)
Oh, hello, Peter.

VENKMAN
You’re really good, you know.

DANA
I didn’t paint it.  I’m just cleaning it.
It’s an original Ver Meer.  It’s worth about
ten million dollars.

VIGO

He turns his head and watches Venkman and Dana.

VENKMAN

Unaware that he’s being watched, Venkman squints at the still life,
holding up his thumb like he’s seen artists do.

VENKMAN
You know you can go to Art World and get
these huge sofa-size paintings for about
forty-five bucks.

He starts looking around at the other artwork in the studio.

DANA
I’m sure you didn’t come here just to talk
about art.

VENKMAN
As a matter of fact, I stopped by to tell
you that I haven’t forgotten your problem
and that we’re still on the case.

They are interrupted by the sudden appearance of Janosz.

JANOSZ
(smiling at Venkman)
Dana, aren’t you going to introduce me to
your friend?

DANA
Oh, I’m sorry.  This is Peter Venkman.
Peter, Janosz Poha.

Venkman warily shakes his hand, trying to size him up.

JANOSZ
(avoiding his gaze)
Pleasure to meet you.  I’ve seen you on
television.

VENKMAN
How are you?
(looking over at the Vigo
painting)
What’s that you’re working on, Johnny?

Janosz winces at the nickname but lets it go.  Venkman and Dana cross to
the Vigo painting.  Janosz steps protectively in front of it.

JANOSZ
It’s a painting I’m restoring for the new
Byzantine exhibition.  It’s a self-portrait
of Prince Vigo, the Carpathian.  He ruled
most of Carpathia and Moldavia in the 17th
Century.

VENKMAN
(staring at the painting)
Too bad for the Moldavians.

JANOSZ
(defensive)

He was a very powerful magician.  A genius
in many ways and quite a skilled painter.

DANA
He was also a lunatic and a genocidal madman.
I hate this painting.  I’ve felt very
uncomfortable since they brought it up from
storage.

VENKMAN
Yeah, it’s not the kind of thing you’d want
to hang in the rec room.  You know what it
needs?
(picking up a brush)
A fluffy little white kitten in the corner.

Venkman reaches toward the painting, but Janosz grabs his hand.

JANOSZ
(with forced good will)
We don’t go around altering valuable
paintings, Dr. Venkman.

VENKMAN
Well, I’d make an exception in this case if
I were you.

Dana looks disapprovingly at Venkman.

VENKMAN
(to Janosz)
I’ll let you get back to it.  Nice meeting
you.

JANOSZ
My pleasure.

Venkman and Dana cross back to her workspace.

VENKMAN
(confidentially)
I may be wrong, but I think you’ve got a
little crush on this guy.

DANA
Good-bye, Peter.

VENKMAN
(dragging his feet)
I’d like to stay, but I really don’t have
time to hang around here.  I’ll call you.
(calls out to Janosz)
Later, Johnny!

He exits.

VIGO

Vigo turns his head and follows Dana as she returns to her workbench.

DANA

She stops, vaguely aware of the movement, and looks up curiously at the
painting.  As she starts to walk on, Vigo looks at her again, but Dana
turns suddenly and catches the movement.  Frightened now, she hastily
leaves the studio.

CUT TO:

INT.  FIREHOUSE - LIVING QUARTERS - CONTINUOUS ACTION - DAY

Venkman and Winston enter and find Stantz and Spengler at work in the lab
area.

STANTZ
Oh good, you’re here.  Spengler and I have
something really amazing to show you.

VENKMAN
(to Spengler)
It’s not that thing you do with your
nostrils, is it?

Stantz goes to the refrigerator, opens the freezer, rummages around among
the TV dinners and frozen pizza and pulls out a slime specimen in a
Tupperware container.

STANTZ
(to Venkman)
We’ve been studying the stuff that we took
from the subway tunnel.

He pops the specimen jar in the microwave and lets it thaw for a minute.

VENKMAN
And now you’re going to eat it?

STANTZ
No, I’m just restoring it to its normal state.

He takes the specimen out of the microwave and pours some of it into a
large Petri dish.

STANTZ
Now watch this.

He leans over the specimen and starts shouting at it.

STANTZ
(simulating anger)
You worthless piece of slime!!
(as the slime starts to
twitch and glow)
You ignorant disgusting blob!!

SPECIMEN

It bubbles and swells, changing color with each insult.

STANTZ
You foul, obnoxious muck!!

STANTZ

He continues venting his rage on the slime.

STANTZ
I’ve seen some real crud in my time, but
you’re a chemical disgrace!!

The specimen doubles its size and starts spilling over the rim of the
Petri dish.

STANTZ AND SPENGLER

They turn to Venkman for his reaction.  He’s dumbfounded.

VENKMAN
This is what you do with your spare time?

STANTZ
(very excited)
This is an incredible breakthrough, Venkman.
A psychoreactive substance!  Whatever this
is, it clearly responds to human emotional
states.

VENKMAN
’Mood slime.’  We ought to bottle this stuff
and sell it.

SPENGLER
We’ve found it at every event site we’ve
been to lately.

WINSTON
(poking at the slime)
You mean this stuff actually feeds on ’bad
vibes’?

STANTZ
Like a goat on garbage.

STANTZ
We’re running tests to see if we can get an
equally strong positive reaction.

VENKMAN
What kind of tests?

STANTZ
(a little embarrassed)
Well, we sing to it, we talk to it, we say
supportive, nurturing things --

VENKMAN
You’re not sleeping with this stuff, are you?

Spengler reacts as if he might be.

STANTZ
It really responds to music.
(to Spengler)
Let’s calm it down.

Spengler picks up a guitar and he and Stantz start singing "Cumbaya" to
the slime specimen.

SPECIMEN

It stops bubbling and starts to shrink.

WINSTON
Does it have any favorites?

STANTZ
It likes all the sappy stuff: ’Cumbaya,’
’Everything is Beautiful,’ ’It’s a Small
World’ -- but it loves Jackie Wilson.

Venkman and Winston watch intently as Spengler spoons some of the
psych-reactive slime onto an old toaster.

STANTZ
Watch this.

Stantz turns on a CASSETTE PLAYER and Jackie Wilson’s "HIGHER AND HIGHER"
BLASTS from the speakers.

TOASTER

It shakes, spins and actually starts moving in time with the MUSIC.

VENKMAN

He stares in disbelief at the dancing toaster as it shoots two pieces of
toast into the air and catches them without missing a beat.

VENKMAN
I don’t care what you say.  This could be a
major Christmas gift item.

WINSTON
Right, and the first time someone gets mad,
their toaster will eat their hand.

VENKMAN
So we’ll put a warning on the label.

Stantz turns OFF the MUSIC and the toaster stops moving.  Venkman looks
at the toaster and sticks his fingers in the slot.

VENKMAN
(to the toaster)
Go ahead.  I dare you.

Suddenly, he yelps as if the toaster has actually bitten into his hand
and won’t let go.  The others jump in to help him, but Venkman laughs and
easily withdraws his hand.

VENKMAN
Just kidding.

CUT TO:

INT.  DANA’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Dana brings Oscar into the bathroom and lays him on the bassinet.  She’s
wearing a robe over her nightgown, preparing to bathe the baby.  She
turns the taps on the old claw-footed bathtub, checks the water
temperature, then turns away and starts to undress the baby.

DANA
(talking sweetly to the
baby)
Look at you.  I think we got more food on
your shirt than we got in your mouth.

BATHTUB

The water pouring from the faucet changes to slime and settles at the
bottom of the tub.  Dana reaches over and turns off the water without
looking into the tub.  When she turns away, both taps start to spin by
themselves and the tub flexes and bulges.

DANA

Still unaware, she routinely reaches over and squirts some bubble bath
into the tub.

BATHTUB

The rim of the tub puckers up and the sides convulse as if swallowing the
bubble bath.

DANA
She picks the baby up off the bassinet and turns to place him in the tub.
She is just about to lower him into the water when the tub starts to
close up around the baby like a hugh mouth.  Dana screams, snatches the
baby away and runs from the room clutching Oscar to her bosom as the
bathtub convulses and vomits up buckets of slime.

CUT TO:

INT.  VENKMAN’S LOFT - SAME NIGHT (LATER)

The big open loft space is a chaotic clutter of mismatched furniture, old
magazines, books, tapes, and sports equipment.  Venkman is asleep on the
floor, still wearing his coat, scarf, hat and gloves, having collapsed
just short of the bedroom.  The DOORBELL RINGS, he wakes up, lumbers to
his feet and answers it.  He opens the door and sees Dana standing there.
She is wearing only a nightgown under her coat and Oscar is naked,
wrapped in a baby blanket.

DANA
(somewhat embarrassed to
be there)
I’m sorry.  Were you on your way out?

VENKMAN
(surprised to see her)
No, I just got in -- a couple hours ago.
Come on in.
(noting her apparel)
Are we having a pajama party?

DANA
(upset)
Peter, the bathtub tried to eat Oscar.

Venkman looks at her for a long moment.

VENKMAN
You know, if anyone else told me that, I’d
have serious doubts.  But coming from you,
I can’t honestly say I’m surprised.

DANA
I must be losing my mind.  At the museum
today I could have sworn that terrible
painting of Vigo looked right at me.

VENKMAN
Who could blame him?  Were you wearing this
nightgown?

DANA
(distraught)
I don’t know what to do anymore.

VENKMAN
I’ll get Ray and Egon to check out the
bathtub.  You better stay here.

He exits to the bathroom.  She looks around the loft, amazed at the
disorder.  Venkman comes back immediately with an old sweatshirt and
takes Oscar from her.

VENKMAN
Now this kid has a serious nudity problem.

He spreads the sweatshirt out on the sofa, lays the baby on it and starts
tying it around him like a diaper.

VENKMAN
(to the baby)
This is Joe Namath’s old number, you know.
You could get a lot of chicks with this.
Just don’t pee in it.

DANA
Peter, what about the bathtub?

VENKMAN
(grabs the phone and dials)
We’ll take care of that.
(on the phone)
Ray, Pete.  Listen, get over to Dana’s right
away ... Her bathtub pulled a fast one --
tried to eat the kid.

DANA
It was full of this awful pink ooze.

VENKMAN
(to Ray)
Sounds like another slime job ... No,
they’re all right.  They’re here now ...
Right ... Let me know.

He hangs up.

VENKMAN
They’re going over there right now.  You
might as well make yourself at home.  Let
me show you around.
(he crosses to the kitchen area)
This is the cuisine de maison --

It’s an incredible mess. The sink is piled high with dirty dishes and the
counters are littered with all sorts of food trash.  He grabs a big open
Hefty bag on the floor and starts throwing garbage into it.

VENKMAN
(looking at the sink)
We may have to wash some of these if you get
hungry --
(he looks in the fridge)
-- but there’s no food anyway so forget
about it.  I have all kinds of carry-out
menus if you feel like ordering.

He opens a drawer full of pizza, barbecue and Chinese food menus, then
crosses to the bathroom.

VENKMAN
Bathroom’s right here -- let me just tidy
up a few things.

DANA
Peter, this is very nice, but you don’t have
to do any of this, you know.

He goes into the bathroom and we hear WATER RUNNING, the TOILET FLUSHING
and more items going into the Hefty bag.

VENKMAN (O.S.)
The shower works but it’s a little tricky.
They’re both marked "Hot."  It takes a little
practice, but at least this one won’t try
and eat you.

He comes out of the bathroom with the now-loaded Hefty bag over his
shoulder.

VENKMAN
Be careful on that sofa -- it’s a butt-biter.
But the bed’s good and I just changed the
sheets so if you get tired, feel free.  In
fact, I think you should definitely plan on
spending the night here.

DANA
Really?  And how would we handle the sleeping
arrangements?

VENKMAN
For me it’s best if I sleep on my side and
you spoon up right behind me with your arms
around me.  If we go the other way I’m
afraid your hair will be getting in my face
all night.

DANA
How about you on the sofa and me in bed with
the baby.

VENKMAN
Or we could do that.

DANA
Thank you.
(she picks up Oscar)
Poor baby.  I think I should put him down
now.

VENKMAN
I’ll put him down for you.
(taking the baby)
You are way too short!  And your belly-button
sticks out!  You’re nothing but a burden to
your poor mother!

Venkman carries the baby into the bedroom leaving Dana in the living
room, feeling more relaxed and a lot safer.

CUT TO:

EXT.  MUSEUM - DAY (NEXT MORNING)

Venkman is waiting in front of the building as ECTO-2 pulls up and
Stantz, Spengler and Winston get out and report on Dana’s apartment.

VENKMAN
Did you find anything at Dana’s?

STANTZ
Nothing.  Just some mood-slime residue in
and around the bathtub.  But we did turn up
some interesting stuff on this Vigo character
you mentioned.  I found the name Vigo the
Carpathian in Leon Zundinger’s Magicians,
Martyrs and Madmen.  Listen to this:

SPENGLER
(reads from xerox of entry)
"Vigo the Carpathian, born 1505, died 1610 --"

VENKMAN
A hundred and five years?  He really hung
on, didn’t he.

STANTZ
And he didn’t die of old age either.  He was
poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched,
disemboweled, drawn and quartered.

WINSTON
I guess he wasn’t too popular at the end
there.

SPENGLER
No, not exactly a man of the people.
(reads)
"Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the
Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the
Unholy."

STANTZ
This guy was a bad monkey.  He dabbled in
all the Black Arts, and listen to this
prophecy.  Just before his head died, his
last words were, "Death is but a door, time
is but a window.  I’ll be back."

VENKMAN
That’s it?  "I’ll be back?"

SPENGLER
It’s a rough translation from the Moldavian.

They enter the museum carrying their monitoring equipment.

INT.  MUSEUM - SECURITY DESK - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Rudy the guard looks up in surprise as the Ghostbusters enter.

RUDY
Hey, Dr. Venkman.  What’s going on?

VENKMAN
We’re just going up to Restorations for a
minute.

RUDY
Oh, I can’t let you do that.  Mr. Poha told
me not to let you up there anymore.

VENKMAN
(with mock seriousness)
Okay, we were trying to keep this quiet but
I think you can be trusted.  Tell him, Ray.

STANTZ
(very official)
Mister, you have an Ecto-paritic,
subfusionary flux in this building.

RUDY
We got a flux?

WINSTON
You got a flux and a half.

STANTZ
Now if you don’t want to be the --
(he counts)
-- fifth person ever to die in meta-shock
from a planar rift, I suggest you get down
behind that desk and don’t move until we
give you the signal "Stabilize -- All Clear."

Rudy gulps and starts to hunker down behind the desk as the Ghostbusters
head upstairs.

INT.  MUSEUM - RESTORATION STUDIO - DAY (MOMENTS LATER)

Janosz is working on the Vigo painting when the Ghostbusters enter.  He
rushes over and stops them at the door.

JANOSZ
Dr. Venkman?  Dana is not here.

VENKMAN
I know.

JANOSZ
Then why have you come?

VENKMAN
We got a major creep alert and we’re just
going down the list.  Your name was first.

STANTZ
(to Spengler and Winston)
Let’s sweep it, boys.

They deploy and start scanning the studio with their monitoring devices.

VENKMAN
(to Janosz)
You know, I never got to ask you.  Where you
from, Johnny?

JANOSZ
(nervous)
The Upper West Side.

SPENGLER
(consulting his PKE meter)
This entire room is extremely hot, Peter.

JANOSZ
What exactly are you looking for, Dr. Venkman?

VENKMAN
We’ll know when we find it.  You just sit
tight.  This won’t take long.

STANTZ

Using the Giga-meter, he traces a strong psychomagnetheric reading to
the painting of Vigo in the alcove at the end of the studio.  Venkman
comes up behind him with Janosz right on his heels.

VENKMAN
This is the one that looked at Dana.

JANOSZ
It must be the chemical fumes in the studio.
People start imagining things --

VENKMAN
(interrupts)
I’m going to rule out the glue-sniffing
theory.  If she says it looked at her, it
looked at her.
(to Vigo)
Hey, you!  Vigie!  Look at me.  I’m talking
to you.  Hey!  Look at me when I’m talking
to you.

They watch the painting for any sign of movement.

VIGO

His eyes stare lifelessly into the distance.

STANTZ AND VENKMAN

Venkman starts shooting Polaroids of Vigo.

VENKMAN
(to Vigo)
Beautiful, beautiful.  Work with me, baby.
Just have fun with it.
(to Stantz)
Okay, he’s playing it cool.  Let’s finish
up and get out of here.

STANTZ
I’ll get one more reading.

Venkman walks off leaving Stantz alone with the painting.  Stantz scans
the painting with the Giga-meter until his eyes meet Vigo’s.

VIGO

His eyes seems to burn right through to the depths of Stantz’s soul.

STANTZ

He stands there transfixed, unable to look away, as a strange and subtle
transformation occurs within him.  Winston comes up behind him and breaks
the spell.

WINSTON
(looking at the painting)
Now that’s one ugly dude.

STANTZ
(coming back to his senses)
Huh?  What?

WINSTON
You finished here?

STANTZ
(distracted)
What?  Yeah.

WINSTON
Are you all right?  You coming down with
something?

STANTZ
No, I’m fine.  I just got light-headed for
a second there.  Let’s go.

They head for the door.

JANOSZ

He escorts the Ghostbusters to the door.

JANOSZ
So you see, everything is in order, is it
not?

VENKMAN
Not.  Don’t leave town and report any change
in your address to the proper authorities.
We’ll be back.

They exit.

CUT TO:

EXT.  MUSEUM - DAY (LATER)

The Ghostbusters cross to ECTO-2.

SPENGLER
There’s definitely something going on in
that studio.  The PKE levels were max-plus
and the Giga-meter was showing all red.

WINSTON
I’d put my money on that Vigo character.

VENKMAN
Yeah, that’s a safe bet.
(to Stantz)
You and Spengman see what else you can dig
up on Vigo and this little weasel Poha.
Those two were made for each other.

INT.  ECTO-2 - DAY (LATER)

The Ghostbusters are driving back to the firehouse.  Stantz is at the
wheel.  His eyes are vacant, he seems distracted and very tense.  Stantz
swerves suddenly and HONKS the horn angrily.

STANTZ
(to another driver)
Idiot!
(honking)
Move it, you jerk!

Venkman and Winston exchange surprised looks.

EXT.  STREET - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Stantz drives extremely fast, HONKING vindictively, weaving dangerously
through traffic.

INT.  ECTO-2 - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

Winston looks at Ray, concerned.

WINSTON
Going a little fast, aren’t we, Ray?

Stantz turns on him.

STANTZ
(viciously)
Are you telling me how to drive?

WINSTON
No, I just thought --

STANTZ
Well don’t think!

He HONKS again and tromps hard on the accelerator.

EXT.  STREET - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Ecto-2 is now barreling down the avenue.  Pedestrians leap to safety as
Stantz runs a red light.

INT.  ECTO-2 - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

They hang on to the safety straps as Stantz continues his maniacal ride.

WINSTON
(to Stantz, really worried
now)
Are you crazy, man?  You’re going to kill
somebody!

Stantz looks at him and smile demonically.

STANTZ
No, I’m going to kill everybody!

He swerves off the road.

EXT.  ECTO-2 - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

The car heads right for a big tree.

INT.  ECTO-2 - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

At the last possible moment, Winston cold-cocks Stantz, grabs the wheel
and steps across to stomp on the brakes.

EXT.  ECTO-2 - DAY (CONTINUOUS ACTION)

The car skids into the tree and stops.  The Ghostbusters stumble out
dazed and shaken, but unhurt.  Stantz rubs his eyes and looks at the
others, completely at a loss.

STANTZ
(himself again)
What happened?

VENKMAN
You just picked up three penalty points on
your driver’s license.

WINSTON
Are you all right?

STANTZ
Yeah, I guess so.  It was the strangest
thing.  I knew what I was doing but I
couldn’t stop.  This really terrible feeling
came over me and -- I don’t know -- I just
felt like driving into that tree and ending
it all.  Whew!  Sorry, boys.

They inspect the damage to the car.

VENKMAN
(confidentially, to
Spengler)
Watch him, Egon.  Don’t even let him shave.

CUT TO:

INT.  VENKMAN’S LOFT - DAY (LATER)

There’s a KNOCK at the front door, a key turns in the lock, and Venkman
enters somewhat tentatively holding a bouquet of flowers and a small
suitcase of Dana’s.

VENKMAN
(calls out)
I’m home!

He looks around the large open loft.

VENKMAN
(to himself)
I knew it.  She cleaned.

He hears the SHOWER RUNNING and crosses to the bathroom.  The door is
half-open and he can see Dana in the shower (tastefully blurred) through
the transparent vinyl curtain.  He closes the bathroom door and looks at
the baby asleep on the bed, surrounded by pillows to prevent him rolling
off.  Then he turns and bumps into Dana who’s just coming out of the
bathroom wrapped in a towel.  She jumps back into the bathroom.

She comes out again, this time wearing a robe.

VENKMAN
Are you all squeaky clean now?

DANA
(humoring him)
Yes, I’m very clean.  Did they find anything
at my apartment?

She squeezes past him into the bedroom and closes the door.

VENKMAN
(through the door)
Nothing.  They stayed there all night, went
through your personal stuff, made a bunch of
long-distance phone calls and cleaned out
your refrigerator.  And didn’t find anything.

Dana opens the bedroom door.

DANA
They didn’t find anything?  In the bathtub
... the pink ooze ... nothing?  So, what do
I do now?

VENKMAN
Now you get dressed and we go out.  I got a
babysitter and everything.  Trust me, you
need it.

DANA
I’m not here to date.  I can’t leave Oscar
in a strange place with someone I don’t know.

VENKMAN
It’s Janine Melnitz, from my staff.  She’s
one of my most valuable employees.

DANA
Does she know anything about babies?

VENKMAN
Janine Melnitz, are you kidding?
(handing her the flowers)
Do I have a vase?  I brought some of your
clothes.  Wear something intriguing.  I
brought along some interesting possibilities.

DANA
O