Something’s Gotta Give Script
OVER BLACK
We hear, Ja Rule’s "Livin’ It Up"...
EXT. NEW YORK CITY - A HOT AUGUST NIGHT - MUSIC OVER
MIDTOWN. A Brunette Beauty crosses in front of a stack of
cabs, her sheer dress clinging to her remarkable body.
A Club in THE MEATPACKING DISTRICT. A long line waits to get
in. A couple of Gorgeous Girls show up at the velvet rope and
are promptly" let inside.
SOHO. A Crowd spills out of a Bar and onto the sidewalk. A
Confident Knock Out in jeans and a tank top laughs, drinking
a beer out of the bottle.
HARRY (V.O.)
Ahhhh... The sweet, uncomplicated
satisfaction of The Younger Woman. That
fleeting age when everything just falls
right into place. It’s magic time and it
can render any man, anywhere --
absolutely helpless. Some say I’m an
expert on The Younger Woman. Guess that’s
’cause I’ve been dating them for over
forty years...
INTO AN EMPTY FRAME COMES HARRY LANGER
What is it about him? Could be his eyes, the turn of his
mouth...something about this guy is just so damn appealing.
Maybe it’s just the way he wears the Young Slinky Girl on his
arm. He’s confident, cool, enviable. We’re in:
A CHIC EATERY - DOWNTOWN
The place is full. Everybody is somebody here.
HARRY
(to Hostess)
Langer. ..
The Maitre’d snaps to attention at the sight of him.
MAITRE’D
Mr. Langer, got your table waiting.
As Harry and his Girl wend their way around tables, we pass Other
Couples. Young Couples. Middle-aged couples. Not talking Couples.
HARRY (V.O.)
So what does a life of bucking the system
all add up to?
2.
HARRY (V.O.) (CONT’D)
To never settle down with the right woman
for a life of leftovers and Christmas
mornings. No his and her IRA accounts, no
mini van parked in the garage. I think
it’s made me what I am today.
(Harry smiles to someone
across the room)
The luckiest son of a bitch on earth.
Look at me. I’m positively debonair. I
should be illegal I’m lookin’ so good.
Harry passes a table where a BEATEN SIXTY YEAR OLD dines with
his AGE APPROPRIATE, WELL-FED WIFE. IN SLOW MOTION, Harry and
The Beaten Man catch each other’s glance.
HARRY (V.O.)
It isn’t as if I haven’t wondered what my
life would be like if I was a Regular Joe
and came in here once a month with a dame
my age’ for a porterhouse and a side of
I spinach. I’ve wondered...
NT. CHIC EATERY - HARRY’S IMAGINATION
Harry ENTERS all over again. This time he looks older,
something in his walk and the boxy cut of his jacket. With
him is a regular looking, nothing-to-write-home-about WOMAN
IN HER FIFTIES.
HARRY (V.O.)
No, come on, let’s be honest. ..a dame
really my age. . .
INT. CHIC EATERY - HARRY’S IMAGINATION - TAKE TWO
Again, the identical set up. Harry ENTERS again. This time he
looks ten years older. The bounce to his step is gone. The
twinkle in his eye, long dead. On his arm is a 63 YEAR OLD
BATTLE AX, built just like Harry. The Maitre’d reluctantly
shows them to a shitty table.
HARRY (V.O.)
There you have it. The story in a
nutshell. Not exactly debonair, am I?
(Harry TRIPS, his wife
looks disgusted)
Awww, man, it’s down right sad. Look at
me. I look like I’m about to die. God
help me. I do not want to die.
SMASH CUT TO:
3.
A LONG STRETCH OF PRISTINE COUNTRY ROAD - THE HAMPTONS - DAY
A Silver Mercedes convertible bursts into FRAME. Harry’s
behind the wheel, shades, smoking a cigar, livin’ large. Next
to him sits a thoroughbred of a girl. An "IT" Girl. Smart,
sexy and built for fun. She has perfected flirting to an art.
Her hand rests on Harry’s neck. There’s a good thirty year
age difference between them. Her name is MARIN. She SINGS
along with Ja Rule, now coming from a CD.
MARIN
( singing)
To all my thugs that be livin’ it
up, we say, what I do. To all my...
(stops)
Oh! This is it. Make a right.
HARRY
(admiring the
neighborhood)
So baby, you’re rich... .
MARIN
Well, my mother is, sort of. Not
really...
HARRY
If she lives within a mile of here, she’s
rich.
MARIN
I guess a hit play will buy you a house
in The Hamptons.
HARRY
I’d like to meet your mother.
MARIN
No you wouldn’t. I mean, she’s
great. She’s totally brilliant, but
she’s not your type.
HARRY
You’re overlooking one of the great
things about me. I don’t have a type.
MARIN
(very directly)
She’s over thirty.
Harry looks to Marin, feigning hurt.
MARIN
Oh, what?! Like you don’t know you
have a slight reputation for...
4.
Just then the CAR PHONE RINGS. Harry keeps looking at Marin.
HARRY
-- For what?
Harry waits. RINGGG!
He doesn’t look away.
MARIN
For never dating anyone over 30.
Don’t look at me like that.
HARRY
It’s just not true.
MARIN
Okay. Sorry. Over 31?
HARRY
Oh, so you wait ’til we get out to The
Hamptons to let me know you’re a wise
ass.
(answers phone)
Hold on. . .
(then to Marin)
It just so happens, my dear, that women
of a certain age, don’t date me. You ever
think of it that way? No, it’s always me.
You dames are all alike.
(then into phone)
Hey...
MARIN
(amused, to herself)
Dames...
Marin continues singing along with Ja Rule as Harry
confidently slips his hand onto her thigh.
BARRY
(into phone)
Vh-huh.. .I’ll call back Monday. Who
else? Monday... Monday... Say you couldn’t
find me. Who?
(glances at Marin, she’s
not listening)
I’ll call her later. No, I have it.
Harry hangs up, doesn’t look in Marin’s direction to see if’
she caught that. This brand of cool is about not playing that
card. Marin turns toward him, she has been listening. They’ve
reached the end of the road, sand dunes, long lilting grass
and the ocean stretch before them.
5.
MARIN
(all business)
Make a right, left at the second
fence.
Marin turns up the CD, getting herself out of whatever just
came over her, looks out the window.
HARRY
Have I mentioned how gorgeous your
breasts look in this sweater?
MARIN
(blushing)
Yes you have actually.
HARRY
So it would be too much to mention it
again. . .
Marin laughs, softening, as Harry turns down a dirt driveway,
driving toward a DREAM BEACH HOUSE.
HARRY
Wow. It’s the perfect beach house.
MARIN
I know. My mother doesn’t know how
to do things that aren’t perfect.
HARRY
Which explains you.
That got her. Harry parks. She looks over at him but he’s
grabbing some cigars for his shirt pocket, then looks up at
her with an innocent look that suggests he did not just say
such a lovely thought.
MARIN
(trying to keep up with
him)
Yeah, okay, right...
They both grab their H
overnight bags and step out of the car.
ARRY
So, what are we gonna do out here,
just the two of us, for two whole
days?
Marin sets her bag down, walks to Harry, wraps her arms
around his neck.
MARIN
Tell me the truth, are you at all
glad we waited?
6.
HARRY
I’m incredibly glad we’re finally
going to do it.
(she’s a bit disappointed)
If that’s the same as being glad we
waited, then baby doll, I’m ecstatic.
Marin smiles then kisses him. He’s one of those guys that
lets you kiss them.
HARRY
(slaps her tush)
Let’s go for a swim, how long will
it take you to change?
MARIN
Two minutes.
Marin starts UNBUTTONING HER SWEATER as she dances
seductively toward the front door, then notices Harry’s
cigars.
MARIN
Oh Har... No smoking in the house. My
Mom doesn’t allow it.
HARRY
But she allows you to strip in the
front yard and bring men you’re
dating here to...
MARIN
She doesn’t know everything I do...Or
when I do it.. or where I do it.
She SLIPS OFF her sweater and DROPS IT ON HARRY’S HEAD.
INT. HOUSE
It’s one of those great Beach Houses. Light filled and warm
with spectacular views of the sandy landscape wrapping around
the rear of the house. Marin, now in a tight tank, tight
pants, gives Harry the grand tour as she continues to
undress.
MARIN
(TAKING OFF her belt)
The fabulous living room, perfect for
entertaining an intimate group of friends
or that special someone.
(DROPS her belt then
UNBUTTONS Harry’s shirt)
Behind me, the requisite Hampton’s deck
complete with pool and ocean view.
7.
MARIN (CONT’D)
(UNBUCKLES Harry’s belt)
Your pants, please...
HARRY
Ladies first.
Marin provocatively UNZIPS her pants and wriggles out of
them. She’s now in a TINY TANK AND BIKINI PANTIES.
MARIN
Gourmet kitchen’s to your left
where tonight I will whip you up a
culinary feast of Mac and Cheese.
Marin HEARS Harry’s ZIPPER UNZIP. She turns, her EYES
WIDENING as Harry’s PANTS land on a chair. Harry is now down
to his Boxers, an Open Shirt and a fearless smile.
MARIN
(smiling)
.. O-kay, going quickly now...
Master bedroom is that away...
They arrive in a warmly decorated GUEST BEDROOM.
M
ARIN
And this as they say on ’Cribs’,
your favorite show, is where the
magic happens. Do we like it? Going
once, going twice ...
HARRY
Sold.
Harry takes Marin’s hand and pulls her OUT OF FRAME and ONTO
THE BED. She playfully rolls on top of him. His hands cup her
ass.
MARIN
You know when I first started
auctioneering someone told me if I was
nervous to just picture everyone in the
audience in their underwear. This sort of
gives that a whole new meaning.
HARRY
Why? You’re not nervous now, are you?
MARIN
I’m always a little nervous.
HARRY
(removing his hands)
So put on your bathing suit. I brought
some champagne, I’ll put it on ice.
8.
MARIN
Me like you, Harry Langer.
She bounces off him like a kid and disappears into the
bathroom.
Harry lies there alone for a second. Catches his breath. He
sits up, feet on the floor, shoulders hunched, clears his
throat, bangs on his chest. He waits a sec then stands with a
stiffness that for the first time suggests he is not a that
young man.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Now wearing only his Boxer Shorts, Harry crosses through the
Living ROOM, singing ’Livin’ It Up’ to himself. He reaches into
his bag and lifts out Two Bottles of Crystal. He sees himself in
the mirror, sucks in his gut.
INT. KITCHEN
Well stocked, the best of everything. Harry opens the door to the
fridge and just as HE DISAPPEARS BEHIND IT, the BACK DOOR OPENS
and TWO WOMEN ENTER from a beach walk, in the middle of a lively
conversation.
One of them is ERICA, Marin’s Mother. The other is Erica’s
Younger Sister, ZOE.
ERICA is in her mid-fifties and is a poster girl for growing old.
It’s actually hard to imagine 55 looking any better. And not
because she looks 35, but because she makes 55 look graceful and
right. Erica is the "girl most likely" who went beyond
expectations but didn’t realize until recently that being sure of
herself was a handicap. She doesn’t try to be intimidating, she
just is.
Her sister, ZOE is in her forties. Zoe’s the loose one. She
wears draw string pants and a T-shirt that says, "BOYS LIE".
The Women stop mid-sentence when they notice the REFRIGERATOR
IS WIDE OPEN. Then they SEE A PAIR OF BARE MEN’S LEGS poking
E
out from UNDER THE DOOR. They don’ t move.
RICA
Oh God. What is this?
Erica nods to Zoe, gesturing a nearby knife. Zoe grabs the knife.
Harry pokes his head out from behind the fridge, equally confused.
ERICA
(in control)
Okay, stay right where you are. We have a
knife.
9.
HARRY
(eyeing the knife)
Do you... live here?
ERICA
Okay, Mister, look, I’m gonna dial
911 and you’re not gonna move. Zoe,
hand me the phone.
(reaches out to Zoe
without looking at her)
HARRY
You don’t understand. I’m a friend
of your daughter’s.
With that, Harry SHUTS the fridge door. The Women see he’s
naked except for a Pair of Boxers. They both GASP. Zoe
FUMBLES the phone over to Erica who dials quickly..
ERICA
Yeah? I don’t think so. My daughter’s in
the city and you what, wandered in
here,like high on Ecstasy..?.
(looks at phone)
Shit. I dialed 8-1-1.
(redials)
HARRY
(calmly starts to move)
Honestly, if you just...
ERICA
Back off. She was in the Israeli
army. She can break you in half.
Zoe can’t believe she just said that -- no truth in it
whatsoever.
ERICA
(into phone)
Yes. I have an intruder in my
house. 29 Daniels Lane, Sagaponack.
HARRY
I’m dating your daughter Marin. She
invited me here for the weekend.
She’s in her room right now,
changing.
ERICA
(GASPS even louder, really
scared now)
You’re dating my daughter?
10.
HARRY
(amused)
Now who would’ve thought that would
be worse news?
With that, Marin ENTERS, in a tiny bikini, sees Harry in his
shorts, Zoe holding the knife and Erica frozen, holding the
phone.
MARIN
Oh, fuck.
ERICA
Oh, God.
(into phone)
I’m sorry. False alarm. Yeah, no, I’m
sure. No, he’s not a burglar
(with enormous difficulty)
He’s dating my daughter.
MARIN
Mom, I had no idea you were coming out
this weekend, you said you had to write.
ERICA
I do. I thought I’d do it out here.
MARIN
Oh, man, this is really....
ERICA
Awkward.
MARIN
Totally.. .but....
(starts laughing)
You gotta admit, sorta funny You thought
he was a burglar? In his boxer shorts?
ERICA
Yeah, well, the world’s nuts, I
don’t know the man. . .
MARIN
(still laughing)
I’m sorry, it’s not really funny.
I’m an idiot. I should’ve told you
I was bringing someone out.
E
RICA
No, no, I should’ve told you we
were coming. Well. Anyway, here we
are.
(waves to Harry)
Hello. I’m the mother.
11.
All three Women turn to Harry who now dangles a long Lobster
shaped oven mitt over his "privates"...
HARRY
Harry Langer. How are ya?
MARIN
Yes. Sorry... Mom, this is my friend,
Harry. Harry, my Mom, Erica... my Aunt,
Zoe.
(they all shake hands)
Harry’s sort of a new friend. I think I
mentioned him in an e-mail. We just,
totally spur of the moment thought we’d
get out of the city for a few days.
ERICA AND ZOE
Of course...Right...Great...
ERICA
(can’t look at him)
Honey, does Harry have a robe?
HARRY
(backing out)
You know what? Actually, I think I should
just take off. Let you gals enjoy your
weekend...
Marin shoots her Mom a look. Help!
ERICA
No, no, no. Don’t be silly. Uh, look,
here’s what we’ll do. Zoe and I will
leave. We took a great walk on the beach,
we’ll go into town for lunch. You two
stay. Harry, apologize about the near
arrest.
HARRY
No, you were impressive. Very strong,
very... "macho".
ERICA
(a little thrown)
I don’t think I was exactly "macho"
...
HARRY
Trust me, if I ever catch a guy in
his underwear in my refrigerator I
hope I’m half the man you were, Mrs
uh...
12.
ERICA
(already hating him)
Yeah. Okay. Whatever...
Marin watches. Dying.
HARRY
All righty then...I’m definitely gonna
hit the road.
(salutes Erica and Zoe)
Ladies...sensational meeting you.
(then to Marin)
Doll, call me.
ZOE
Hold on. Hold on. Let’s not get so
dramatic here. What are we four
teenagers? We’re all sophisticated
people. Why can’t we all stay, for the
weekend? Your mother’s got work to do
I’ve got papers to grade. You’ll do your
thing, whatever that is and if we want to
hang together, we’ll hang together. If we
don’t, we don’t. There’s no reason why
any of us should give up this spectacular
weekend.
MARIN
Seriously. I can handle it.
ZOE
I can totally handle it.
ERICA
(on the spot)
I mean, well, I can "handle" it...
The Women all look to Harry. He looks at Marin. She’s hard to
resist.
HARRY
It can only go up from here.
CUT TO:
HARRY AND MARIN
Walking past SHOPS on the MAIN DRAG IN EAST HAMPTON. They are
both licking ice cream cones. CAMERA STAYS BEHIND THEM.
Z
OE (V.O.)
He’s obviously a penis substitute.
13.
ERICA AND ZOE
Are paced 20 feet behind them, carrying groceries.
ZOE
I mean a father substitute.
ERICA
Except he’s older than her father. I
can’t even look at them. What is she
doing with a guy that age?
ZOE
Marin was how old when you guys broke up?
ERICA
Five years ago, so. ..twenty-three.
ZOE
Okay, so she was old enough not to
feel Dave was walking out on her.
ERICA
Is that supposed to mean Dave walked out
on me? Why do people assume when you
break up after twenty years that the
guy’s the one who wanted out? Just
because once we broke up he shtupped
everything that moved...
ZOE
Easy cowgirl. I didn’t mean it that way.
Just trying to figure out why such a
smart girl is always with the wrong guy.
CLOSE ON A YOUNG FRENCH GIRL IN AN APRON
YOUNG FRENCH GIRL
Mme. Barry, que je puis vous obtenir
aujourd’hui?
The Girl stands BEHIND THE CHEESE COUNTER in:
THE BAREFOOT CONTESSA
A Gourmet Market in East Hampton. The clientele in here is as
rich looking as the food. Erica stands on the other side of
the Cheese Counter.
ERICA
Bonjour je veux une partie de votre
pate merveilleux et de votre
meilleur fromage absolu de chevre.
14.
Harry and Marin shop near by. Harry listens to Erica out of
one ear.
HARRY
That’s impressive.
MARIN
She started French lessons after she and
my Dad split up. Part of her "Keep Busy,
Don’t Look Back" program. She’s
practically fluent now.
ERICA
(turning back to Marin)
Marin, au cas ou nous prende un desset ou
devrions jefaire quelgue chose?
MARIN
(with an impeccable
accent)
Laissons quelque chose d’achat. Et
ce grand gateau de chocolat?
HARRY
Hey, not bad.. .
MARIN
(shrugs)
Yeah...well. ..I am fluent. Be right
back.
Marin crosses to the dessert counter. Erica turns back and
catches Harry checking out Marin’s ass. He smiles as he licks
his ice cream. Erica rolls her eyes then spots another Older
Guy with a Leggy Girl twenty-five years his junior.
ERICA
It’s an epidemic.
Then Erica notices who’s next to her at the cheese counter.
She sees her Sister, Zoe, reading a cheese label with her
glasses on and next to Zoe are two sad looking Old Women in
their Eighties with their arms linked. Almost woozy, Erica is
snapped out of it when she is handed her package.
Y
OUNG FRENCH GIRL
Merci madame.
Erica heads down the aisle, passing Harry whose back is to
her. Just as she passes, he turns and almost bumps into her.
ERICA
(backing off)
Woops. Sorry.
15.
HARRY
My fault.
They so very badly do not want to actually touch. Erica
hesitates. Harry gestures for her to go first then walks
alongside her.
ERICA
So, Harry... What do you do?
HARRY
I’m one of the owners of a record
company among other things...
ERICA
Oh, really? Which record company?
HARRY
Drive by Records.
ERICA
(appalled at the name)
"Drive By" Records??? Is that a
joke? What is that?
HARRY
It’s a Hip Hop label.
ERICA
Hip Hop? Oh, rap? Oh, right. Well.
(with disdain)
Okay. That’s... "interesting"...
HARRY
Let me see if I get where you’re
headed here. . .
ERICA
I’m sorry, but, look, you know I hate
rap, I mean I do. It’s sort of violent
and crude for my taste, not to mention
just a tad misogynistic.
HARRY
Hey, a lot of people see rapping as
poetry.
ERICA
Yeah, but come on, how many words
can you rhyme with ’Bitch’?
Erica places her groceries on the check out counter.
MARIN
(joining Harry)
How we doin?
16.
HARRY
Should’ve left when she tried to arrest
me.
INT. ERICA’S DINING ROOM - THAT NIGHT
Marin serves plates of pasta with lobster. Zoe pours wine and
Erica tosses a salad. Harry is the only one sitting.
MARIN
So, Mom, how’s the new play? You gettin’
happy with it?
Marin places a plate in front of Harry then runs her finger
along "the nape of his neck. They smile at each other as she
continues on. Erica notices, tries not to respond.
ERICA
Well, the thing with me is that I’m about
90% hard word, 10% talent and so far the
talent part hasn’t exactly kicked in yet.
ZOE
Yeah, right...
HARRY
What’s your play about?
Marin and Zoe stop what they are doing and turn to Erica.
She’s hesitant to reveal this.
ERICA
About? Well, I’m not exactly sure which
is a bit of a problem, but so far it’s
about a divorced woman, a writer, she’s
this high strung, over-amped,
controlling, know it all neurotic. . .
(everyone stares at her)
Who’s incredibly cute and lovable.
(more stares)
It’s a comedy.
(takes a seat next to Zoe)
M
So, how did you two meet?
ARIN
At a Wine Auction at Sotheby’s. Harry was
the big buyer of the night.
HARRY
I kept winking at Marin as she was
conducting the auction and apparently
every time I did that she misunderstood
and I ended up buying cases of
outrageously expensive wine.
17.
Zoe and Marin laugh.
ERICA
Ever been married, Harry?
HARRY
No. No, I haven’t.
ERICA
Wow. Now why do you think that is?
HARRY
Some people just don’t fit the mold. And
so far...
ERICA
Hey, if it ain’t broke.
HARRY
Exactly.
Harry leans back, places his arm around Marin’s chair. Erica
takes note.
ZOE
Wait a second, aren’t you like a famous
bachelor?
HARRY
I wouldn’t say I’m famous.
ZOE
No, I think I read a piece on you
in New York Magazine.
HARRY
I guess people find it interesting
that I’ve escaped the noose for so
long.
ZOE
Yeah, wasn’t the name of the article,
"The Escape Artist"?
ERICA
Wait. I read that article. That was you?
You were once engaged to somebody big.
Who was it? Not Joan Collins.. .Wait.
..Carly Simon?
ZOE
Yeah, it was somebody cool like that.
(trying to remember)
Not Martha Stewart....
18.
MARIN
You could just ..’ask him.
HARRY
No, this is more fun. It’s like I’m
not here.
MARIN
Harry was once engaged to Diane
Sawyer. Okay?
ZOE
Right. Diane Sawyer. I love her.
ERICA
(stunned)
I’m impressed.
HARRY
Yeah, women your age love that
about me.
Erica pauses on that one.
HARRY
(trying to get thru this)
You know what I mean.
ERICA
Yes I do.
HARRY
It’s not a bad thing to say ’women
your age’.
ERICA
No...I’m sure it was a compliment.
HARRY
It was. ..just the truth.
ZOE
(stepping in)
So when was this engagement?
HARRY
Long time ago. She was just this
adorable lanky girl from Kentucky
with the greatest pair of legs I’d
ever seen... Never understood her
ending up with a job where she
never showed them.
(munches on his lobster)
19.
ERICA
You’re not serious? She’s Diane
Sawyer, she goes into caves in
Afghanistan with a shmahtah on her
head. Who cares about her legs?
HARRY
Just anyone who’s ever had the
pleasure of... You know what? I
hate to eat and run but...
ZOE
No, wait. This is actually a very
fascinating dynamic - what’s going
on at this table...
MARIN
(warning him)
Z
oe teaches Women’s Studies at
Columbia. . .
HARRY
Oh, so this is gonna hurt.
ZOE
No, come on, listen, here’s the rub
for women. Look at what we have
here with you and Erica. Harry,
you’ve been around the block a few
times, right? You’re what? Around
60, never been married, which, we
all know, if you were a woman,
would be a curse, you’d be an old
maid, a spinster, blah, blah,
blah... Okay, so instead of pitying
you, they write articles about you,
celebrate your never marrying, it
makes you illusive and ungettable.
You’re a real catch. Then, take my
gorgeous sister here...
ERICA
Any chance of you stopping here?
ZOE
Come on, this is interesting. I
mean, look at her, she’s so
accomplished, the most successful
woman playwright since who? Lillian
Hellman? She’s over fifty,
divorced and still sits in night
after night because the available
guys her age want
(to Marin)
20.
ZOE(cont’d)
--forgive me honey for saying this,
but they want girls that look like
Marin so the whole over fifty
dating scene is geared completely
towards men leaving older women out
and as a result that makes the
older women more and more
productive and more and more
interesting, which, in turn, makes
them even less desirable because as
we all know -- men, especially
older men, are threatened and
deathly afraid of interesting and
accomplished women. It’s just so
clear. Single older women, as a
demographic, are as fucked a group
as can ever exist.
Erica and Harry’s EYES CONNECT for a millisecond. HEAR THE
SOUND OF PLATES CRASHING.
INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER
OVER, we
Erica is cleaning up the broken plates, Zoe leans down to
help.
ERICA
What are you, possessed? How could
you say those things?
ZOE
It just seemed so obvious to me. The
injustice of it. Thank God men die
younger than us. It’s the only break we
get.
ERICA
Then you know what? Write a dissertation
on it, don’t announce to the world that I
stay in night after night after night and
by the way, one night after night would
have been enough. Did you ever realize, I
stay "in" as part of my job. Why do you
think I married the director of my plays?
He was the only man I ever saw. Anyway, I
like staying in and I like this time in
my life. Why do I have to defend myself?
M I was married for 20 years. I’m done.
arin ENTERS carrying more dishes.
MARIN
What the hell was that?
21.
ZOE
I’m sorry, I thought I was onto
something.
ERICA
Honey, what are you doing with this
guy? He’s old, he’s chauvinistic...
MARIN
He’s fun.
ERICA
He’s fun? How is he fun? He’s
like.. .wrong.
MARIN
Wrong can be fun, Mom.
ERICA
Not this wrong.
MARIN
Can we not do this now? He’s
actually incredibly smart and
fascinating and if you had talked
to him about something other than
his marital status you would’ve
found out how smart he is. He owns
like 10 different companies...
ERICA
What does that mean he owns ten
different companies? He can’t
commit, that’s what that means. Not
that, God forbid, I want him to
commit.
MARIN
Yeah, that I get. Anyway, he said he
thought you two were very spontaneous and
nice and then said he’s leaving as soon
as the sun comes up.
ERICA
What? His car doesn’t have
headlights?
MARIN
Good night.
ERICA
Wait. I have no right to get this
nuts.
(hugs her)
He’s your friend. Not mine. I love
you.
22.
MARIN
(hugs her back)
I love you more.
This is obviously a ritual between them. Erica kisses
Marin’s cheek in a flutter of kisses, then Marin
EXITS.
ZOE
No chance he said we were nice.
ERICA
Please. None.
They HEAR MUSIC coming from Marin’s bedroom.
ZOE
What are they listening to?
ERICA
I don’t care...
(listens)
Oy. Marvin Gaye. . .
Erica turns on the garbage disposal. Zoe sings along,
"Let’s get it on". .., Erica shoots her a look, turns
off the garbage disposal, doing the dishes with vigor.
ERICA
I know she’ll never see him after
this weekend. She can’t commit
either.
Then they hear Marin GIGGLING.
ZOE
He does sound fun.
Marin YELPS.
ZOE
Admit it, he’s got something. You
felt it, right?
Then they hear Marin SCREAM.
ERICA
Oh, this is nuts...
Erica covers her ears with her hands. Then they hear
Marin SCREAM "MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!"
ERICA
Did she say, Mom?
23.
INT. MARIN’S ROOM - ANGLE - THE DOOR
Erica and Zoe bust into the room and find Harry .on the
floor, leaning against the bed, a clenched fist on his chest.
His shirt is open, he’s sweating, his complexion is grey.
Marin stands back, freaked out, afraid to get near him.
MARIN
We were fooling around and he said he
felt funny Hthen he just collapsed.
ARRY
(out of breath)
It’s nothing. I’m okay maybe it was
the lobster...
ERICA
Does your chest hurt?
HARRY
Like an elephant’s standing on it.
ERICA
(to Marin)
Call 911...tell them to send an
ambulance. . .
Marin hesitates.
ERICA
Marin! Now!
HARRY’S POV - THE ROOM
Spinning. When he shuts his eyes, it goes BLACK. Spinning.
BLACK. Spinning. BLACK. He sees Marin, soft in the
background, on the phone and Erica coming toward him. He
hears Zoe:
ZOE(O.S.)
What are you doing?
ERICA
(coming closer)
Mouth to mouth...
ON HARRY
Even in this state he gets that Erica is about to place her.
mouth on his. His eyes WIDEN IN HORROR, he reels back. Erica
catches this.
ERICA
You fucking guy...
24.
She does it anyway. Her-mouth on his, her breath into his
lungs, over and over. Harry’s eyes roll back in hi-so head.
As. Erica pounds on his chest, we HEAR THE BLARE OF A
SIREN...
AND A LOUD CLANG
As the DOORS to SOUTHAMPTON HOSPITAL FLY OPEN. Paramedics
WHEEL Harry through the corridors and into the ER with
dizzying speed. Two Nurses jostle Harry OFF the gurney and
ONTO A BED.
DR. JULIAN MERCER arrives at Harry’s side. Julian is in his
early-thirties and has finally just graduated out of the ’you
look too young to be a doctor’ syndrome. Julian is a man
whose goodness makes him sexy. He wears his hair shaggier
than you’d expect but then again, this is a Johns Hopkins
graduate who chose to live near the beach and work nights.
The Nurses place oxygen in Harry’s nose, .;hook him up to a
heart monitor and connect him to an IV.
JULIAN
How we doing here?
PARAMEDIC #1
He’s had 30 minutes of chest pain,
nausea, shortness of breath, blood
pressure’s 170 over 100, pulse 104,
respirations 18...
JULIAN
Let’s get an EKG. Mr. Langer, I’m
Dr. Mercer. Are you in any pain
right now?
The Nurse wheels over an EKG machine, Julian helps hook it
up.
HARRY
Feel some pressure in my
chest...it’s real tight.
JULIAN
Can you show me where the pain is?
Harry clenches his fist over his sternum.
JULIAN
What were you doing at the onset of
the pain?
HARRY
I was uh, kissing a beautiful...
25.
JULIAN
(watching the monitor)
Where you having intercourse?
HARRY
-- Unfortunately, no.
JULIAN
S
ense of humor in tact...
(checks EKG)
Hang a nitroglycerine drip. Mr.
Langer the EKG shows you have a
blocked artery which is not
allowing enough oxygen to get to
the heart muscle.. .
HARRY
I’m having a heart attack?
JULIAN
We’re gonna stop it. But I need to
know what kind of medications you
take?
HARRY
(scared shitless)
I take uh... uh. . . Lipitor. . .
JULIAN
(reading the EKG tape)
Uh-huh... .Any thing else?
HARRY
-- and a white one for blood
pressure. . .
JULIAN
procardia?
HARRY
Yeah.
JULIAN
What about, Viagra?
Erica, Marin and Zoe ARRIVE in the DOORWAY of the ER. Harry
eyes them...stalls.
JULIAN
Mr. Langer? Did you take any Viagra
today? Mr. Langer?
HARRY
No. No Viagra.
26.
JULIAN
You’re positive?
HARRY
I don’t take Viagra. Don’t need
Viagra.
The Women grab looks at each other, know they shouldn’t be
there. They turn away.
JULIAN
Great. Just needed to be sure
because I put nitroglycerin into
your-drip and if you had taken
Viagra, the combo would make your
heart leap right out of your
body...
CLOSE - HARRY’S EYES - PANICKED
As he watches the NITROGLYCERIN make it’s way DOWN THE TUBE
and APPROACH HIS ARM. Just as the amber liquid is about to
enter his bloodstream he YANKS the IV out of his arm. The
drip is knocked onto the ground. The Women shriek as the
Nurses scurry to clean up. Erica and Zoe rush out, Marin
hangs back. Harry catches the look on her face.
JULIAN
Let’s give him an aspirin and
Metoprolol 5mg...
HARRY
Sorry, had an audience...
(clutching his chest)
JULIAN
It’s okay. ..it was a great save.
(to Nurse)
Let’s start the thrombolytic protocol.
"4000 units of heparin. Mr. Langer, if
this works and I have every reason to
believe it will, it’s going to reverse
what’s going on so there will be little
or no damage to your heart. You with me?
(Harry nods. Julian places
his hand on Harry’s)
Okay, here we go.
THE HALLWAY
Marin paces, smoking. Erica sits. Zoe leans against the wall.
MARIN
Oh, man, what if he doesn’t make
it? I don’t k