FADE IN:
THE HIGHWAY - DAY
Georgia. Two-lane blacktop, stretching from here to heaven.
Empty. Silent. Then, suddenly in the far distance, several
dark specks rise over a hill and head straight toward camera.
Camera holds and the specks begin to take form. Vehicles.
Trucks. Six monstrous eighteen-wheel diesels, coming at us,
their smokestacks blasting. Sound grows louder, as we begin
to hear snatches of Citizens Band Radio talk over:
VOICE ONE
-- Breaker, this is Banana Peel...
VOICE TWO
-- Yeah, Breaker go head on.
VOICE ONE
-- Thanks much. I’d like to get me a
Smokey report?
VOICE TWO
-- Road looks clean as a hound’s
tooth.
VOICE ONE
-- Okey, doke. Last one to the Roadeo
is a homo.
Voices fade and titles and credits begin. "Black Smoke Blowing
Over Eighteen Wheels" by Red Simpson comes up in the b.g. as
the six trucks blast right over camera.
AN AERIAL VIEW
of the trucks driving through an entrance gate to a huge
parking lot. Over the gate is a sign reading: "GEORGIA TRUCK
ROADEO STATE FINALS." Music and credits continue.
TRUCK ROADEO - PARKING LOT - DAY
Macks, Kenworths, Whites and Jimmys, all polished to a
mirrored finish. Truck drivers decked out in their flashiest
western outfits. The stands filled with spectators on the
edge of their seats, watching the gearjammers put their rigs
through tests of skill and reflexes -- parallel parking,
driving around eggs, through complicated barricades, etc.
CAMERA PICKS UP
a customized white Cadillac convertible pulling into the
Roadeo grounds. The Caddy has mounted chrome quarter horses
on each front fender, bull horns on the front bumper, stacked
rifles displayed in the rear. Garish. The car’s Texas license
plate reads "Mr. Big."
CLOSER ANGLE
The Cadillac stops. Two men climb out and wend their way
through the trucks and spectators. Camera tracks behind them.
Although we can’t see their faces, we see that one man is
pudgy and decked out in a fancy white western suit and hat.
The other is younger, tall, skinny and wearing a grey western
suit and hat. Kyle Brand and his son Dickey.
MUSIC AND CREDITS FADE
ANGLE - ROADEO INFIELD
The crowd roars, as the trucks race through an obstacle
course.
ANGLE - THE MEN - TRACKING
Camera still on their backs.
DICKEY
(referring to race)
Is that Bandit in the lead?
KYLE
If that sumbitch was in the race,
he’d be in the winner’s circle by
now.
DICKEY
I still think this whole idea is
dumb, pop.
KYLE
Then it must be a helluva idea.
Kyle laughs. His laugh then turns into a hacking cough.
DICKEY
Why don’t we just rent a Lear jet
and haul it back ourselves?
KYLE
Because I wanna see this hot shot
Bandit do something that can’t be
done. Besides, there’s nothing I
like better than breaking legends.
He laughs, coughs again, continues walking.
DICKEY
(not getting it)
But if it can’t be done, how’s he
gonna do it?
KYLE
That’s the point, Dickey.
DICKEY
Oh.
KYLE
Now, you just find him, son.
DICKEY
Yes, sir.
Dickey crosses to a trucker couple, polishing up their chromed
rig.
DICKEY
Say, hoss. Where might I locate the
Bandit?
HUSBAND
Ain’t seen him.
WIFE
(immediately)
Over there behind his rig.
The Husband shoots his old lady a jealous look. Dickey rejoins
Kyle and they head toward Bandit LaRue’s truck.
NEW ANGLE - MOVING
as they come to the only battered, beaten-up eighteen-wheeler
at the entire Truck Roadeo. It looks like it hasn’t been
washed since it left the showroom.
On one side of the truck is a faded and peeling mural of a
stagecoach being held up. A teamster and a shotgun guard
have their hands high in the air and a Bandit on horseback
has a six-gun pointed at them.
An elaborate CB radio antenna grows out of the cab beside
the driver’s door.
ANGLE - KYLE AND DICKEY - FROM BEHIND
as they round the truck and stop in their tracks.
REVERSE ANGLE - WHAT THEY SEE
A hammock is stretched from the cab of the truck to an oak
tree. A man wearing a faded denim western shirt, open with
the sleeves rolled up, levis and silver-toed cowboy boots is
lying in the hammock. A cowboy hat covers his face.
CLOSER ANGLE
as shadows fall across the figure. The man slowly tips back
his hat and we see he’s in his thirties, boyishly handsome,
with a cocky smile. Bandit LaRue.
FULL SHOT
And for the first time we get a look at Kyle and Dickey.
Kyle is wearing sunglasses and diamond rings on every finger.
His smile is as tasteless as the suit he wears.
Dickey is in his early twenties. Blonde, blue-eyed and scared
to death of his old man.
Bandit looks at them for a moment, then casually pulls the
hat back over his face.
KYLE
Aw, ain’t you glad to see me, Bandit?
BANDIT
(hat over his face)
Yeah, it’s the highlight of my day.
There’s a long pause interrupted by Kyle’s hacking cough.
KYLE
(to Dickey)
What’s he get if he wins here?
BANDIT
(hat over his face)
If...?
DICKEY
Five thou.
KYLE
Chickenshit money.
Kyle coughs again.
BANDIT
(hat over his face)
Could you turn your head?
Bandit gets up and begins untying the hammock from the tree.
Kyle crosses to him.
BANDIT
Look, Kyle; I ain’t in this Truck
Roadeo for the money. It’s the
challenge. You know, the ecstasy of
victory, the agony of defeat.
Kyle looks out at the cheering crowd.
KYLE
I can’t believe there’s two thousand
people here to watch a bunch of guys
back up their trucks.
BANDIT
America’s bored.
(then)
Now, what do you want?
KYLE
You to forget this dumbass Roadeo
and take on a real challenge.
As Bandit turns to him, we:
CUT TO:
BANDIT’S TRUCK - DAY
Bandit, wearing aviator shades and his cowboy hat, is backing
the truck up and shouting down to Kyle and Dickey on the
ground.
BANDIT
You’re crazy, man. Smart dresser,
but crazy.
KYLE
What’s the matter? Legend has it
Bandit LaRue’s king of the road.
BANDIT
I can make it to Texarkana and back
in twenty-eight hours... that’s no
sweat.
DICKEY
It ain’t ever been done before, hot
shit.
BANDIT
(smiles at Dickey,
then)
See, running Coors Beer east of Texas
is what bothers me. It makes me a
bootlegger.
KYLE
I hear a few weeks ago you smuggled
sixteen Beaners up to West Virginia.
BANDIT
You know how rumors start.
DICKEY
I think you’re just yellow.
BANDIT
Wonderful psychology. Why don’t you
say something about my mom?
(then)
Excuse me.
Bandit drives toward the starting line for another event.
Kyle and Dickey run alongside.
KYLE
(coughs, then)
Look, you make this little run for
me, I’ll buy you a new rig.
BANDIT
(indicating truck)
Last year, this was a new rig.
KYLE
But it wasn’t a Kenworth.
Dickey turns to his father, stunned, as Bandit stops the
truck.
DICKEY
(sotto)
Pop, a K-Whopper’s worth seventy
thou.
BANDIT
(correcting)
Seventy-two five.
(then)
Why do you want this barley pop so
bad?
DICKEY
He’s thirsty.
Bandit smiles at Dickey again.
KYLE
I got a boy running in the Peach
Tree Classic tomorrow and when he
wins, I wanna celebrate in style.
BANDIT
How much style?
KYLE
Four hundred cases worth.
(a long pause)
Well?
BANDIT
(a beat)
You paying for the gas?
Kyle smiles that unwinning smile and takes out a huge wad of
bills, as we:
CUT TO:
GEORGIA COUNTRYSIDE - DAY
Picturesque. Bandit’s eighteen-wheeler rolling down the
Georgia highway, past lush green meadows and endless acres
of pines.
Over this:
A WOMAN’S VOICE
Whaddya mean, we’re not going to the
show tonight?
INSIDE THE TRUCK (DIALOGUE OVERLAPS)
And for the first time, we get a real look inside the rig.
It’s quite a set-up. The opposite of the outside. Home on
the road.
Sheepskin over the two front seats, a poster of Raquel Welch
in a bikini tacked above the windshield, under which is a
bumper sticker reading: "Do It For Truckers." On the dash
board, a St. Christopher medal and a chattering skull. Also,
a stereo tape deck and the best Citizens Band Radio outfit
money can buy.
Bandit is on the C.B.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Hot Pants, I got no choice. I gotta
make a run to Texarkana. Over.
WOMAN’S VOICE
(over CB)
But you been promising to take me
for three weeks.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Baby, I...
MALE VOICE
(over CB)
Break. Break.
WOMAN’S VOICE
(over CB)
Yeah, breaker; come on.
MALE VOICE
(over CB)
Hot Pants, this here is Sugar Man.
I’ll take you to the show tonight.
Pick you up at seven. How am I hitting
you?
WOMAN’S VOICE
(over CB)
Bull’s-eye, Sugar Man. Bandit?
BANDIT
(into mike)
Yeah?
WOMAN’S VOICE
(over CB)
Go sit on a cold carrot.
Bandit looks at the mike and we:
CUT TO:
RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY
Bandit’s truck pulls to a stop in front of a small white
clapboard house.
CUT TO:
A FEW MINUTES LATER - INSIDE THE HOUSE
Most of the furniture is old and what isn’t, is covered with
plastic. No fancy carpets or objects d’art. On the coffee
table is an open, colorfully illustrated Bible. A blonde
wood television set sits in a corner of the room. There are
a lot of toy trucks lying around and over the mantel is an
oil painting of a fancy eighteen-wheeler with an epitaph
under it reading: "I’d rather be a truck driver, than be a
millionaire..."
Bandit is trying to get into the bedroom, but his path is
being blocked by a faded Georgia beauty lost somewhere in
her thirties. Waynette Snow.
BANDIT
(trying to get past
her)
Goddamn, Waynette; you sure do look
foxy today. If you weren’t already
married, I’d...
WAYNETTE
Don’t give me that horseshit, Bandit.
You ain’t seeing him.
BANDIT
(determined)
Yes, I am.
WAYNETTE
(equally determined)
No, you ain’t.
A scrawny little Kid runs through the room, followed by an
even scrawnier mutt.
SCRAWNY KID
Hi, Uncle Bandit.
WAYNETTE
(turning to Kid)
He ain’t your damn uncle and get
that mutt outta here. He just peed
all over my hot curlers!
Bandit takes the moment to slide past Waynette and duck into
the bedroom.
THE BEDROOM
is dark. The venetian blinds are drawn. Bandit hurries into
the room with Waynette still hollering in the b.g.
He passes a French Provincial dresser with a small fleet of
model trucks on top and crosses to a Lump sleeping face down
on a double bed.
BANDIT
(shaking the Lump)
Cledus.
CLEDUS
(not moving)
No.
BANDIT
(shaking him again)
Wake up, man; I just got us a hot
run for big bucks.
Bandit goes to the closet and begins tossing clothes onto
the bed.
CLEDUS
(slowly rolling over)
Whadda we have to do -- kidnap the
Pope?
BANDIT (O.S.)
(from closet)
How’d you know?
He comes out of the closet with the rest of the clothes and
tosses them on the bed, then crosses to the dresser drawer
and throws a pair of socks and underwear at Cledus.
BANDIT
Look, all we gotta do is make a run
to Texarkana...
(under his breath)
...in twenty-eight hours.
Cledus Snow slowly comes up from under the covers and we get
our first glimpse of him. He’s thirty-three, but you’d never
take him for a day under forty. Trucker all the way. He’s
wearing boxer shorts and an undershirt. As he reaches across
to the nightstand and puts on a pair of glasses:
CLEDUS
Twenty-eight hours! You’re outta
your gord.
BANDIT
Is that any way to talk to your ole
partner?
(pulling back blanket)
Look, it’s only nine hundred miles
each way.
CLEDUS
(figuring quick)
That means we gotta average ninetyfour
miles per.
(lying back down)
Forget it.
BANDIT
No one’s ever done it before. This’ll
put us on the map.
CLEDUS
Or in the slammer.
BANDIT
Did I tell you they’re gonna give us
a brand new Kenworth?
CLEDUS
(sitting up)
Waynette!
CUT TO:
OUTSIDE CLEDUS’ HOUSE - DAY
Bandit sits inside the cab of the truck, nervously tapping
his foot and watching Cledus’ kids play football on the front
lawn. The mutt keeps getting in their way.
Bandit hits the horn and an instant later, Cledus steps onto
the front porch, followed by Waynette. He’s wearing a plaid
shirt, levis, a large engraved cowboy belt and a thermal
vest.
WAYNETTE
(handing him a thermos)
This ain’t fair. You’re letting him
talk you into this.
CLEDUS
(buttoning shirt)
I swear to God, pumpkin; I’ll be
back before you know it.
(sly smile)
And then I’ll make you glad you was
born a woman.
WAYNETTE
Well, I just might not be waiting
this time.
Bandit toots again. Waynette gives him "the finger."
CLEDUS
Honey, please... Don’t be this way.
You know I’d do anything for you.
WAYNETTE
Anything?
Cledus nods.
WAYNETTE
Take Fred.
CUT TO:
GEORGIA HIGHWAY - LATE AFTERNOON
The eighteen-wheeler heading west, stacks open.
Over:
CLEDUS (V.O.)
Believe me, man; Fred’ll be no
problem.
BANDIT (V.O.)
Yeah, I can tell he’s gonna be a
major asset.
INSIDE THE CAB (DIALOGUE OVERLAPS)
Fred, the mutt, lays with his head slumped over Bandit’s
leg. Cledus is at the wheel, wearing clip-on sunglasses.
BANDIT
All right, Fred; enough fun.
Bandit picks Fred up and dumps him onto the sleeper
compartment behind the seats. Then, starts going over a road
map.
CLEDUS
You know of course, we ain’t ever
gonna make it.
BANDIT
(not looking up)
Quit being so negative, guy; ’course
we’re gonna make it. We ain’t never
not made it, have we?
CLEDUS
No.
BANDIT
See.
CLEDUS
Our asses gonna be in a sling if we
get caught.
BANDIT
(looking up, straight
to him)
And if we don’t, they’re gonna be
riding high in a brand new Kenworth.
As "Truck Driving Man" by Red Steagall starts over, Cledus
looks at Bandit, sighs -- then punches it.
DISSOLVE THRU TO:
A SERIES OF LAP DISSOLVES - THE EIGHTEEN-WHEELER
roaring down the highway. Music continues, as slowly day
becomes night and the truck whizzes across the Alabama and
Mississippi State Lines.
DISSOLVE THRU TO:
THE HIGHWAY - NIGHT
The rig is parked on the shoulder under a highway light.
Bandit and Cledus stand by the side of the truck, as Fred
wanders aimlessly around the grassy knoll off the shoulder.
BANDIT
(snapping his fingers
impatiently)
How long’s this gonna take?
CLEDUS
I don’t know, man. Ask him?
BANDIT
(nervously)
We gotta let the slack out, Cledus;
this is costing us time.
CLEDUS
If you ask me, I think we should
make that run to Choo Choo Town and
pick up that load of lumber. Nice.
Easy. And within the law.
BANDIT
Also boring.
CLEDUS
But I still don’t think...
Bandit walks away from Cledus in mid-sentence, heading for
the rear of the truck.
CLEDUS
What are you doin’ now?
BANDIT
(starting to open
rear doors)
Running blocker.
CUT TO:
THE BACK DOORS OF THE TRUCK
As Bandit swings them open, Cledus adjusts one of two ramps
that have now been mounted on the rear of the truck’s floor.
As Cledus kicks the ramp into place, Bandit climbs into the
back of the trailer and disappears.
After a moment, there is a deafening roar and suddenly, two
headlights are GLARING straight at camera.
NEW ANGLE
A beat and slowly, a full-blown SHELBY COBRA II appears from
inside the truck. As it moves slowly down the ramp, we see
it has twelve coats of black lacquer, red pinstriping,
aluminum mags, twelve-inch Firestones, the works. A mean
machine.
On the rear bumper is a CB antenna matching the one on the
truck.
CAMERA FOLLOWS
as Bandit guides the Cobra down the ramp. Cledus quickly
folds up the ramp and dumps it back into the truck. He slams
the metal doors closed and crosses to the Cobra.
CLEDUS
All right, here’s our plan of
communication, so as to avoid Smokey.
BANDIT
Go.
CLEDUS
Now, if I say go to channel three,
it really means go to six.
BANDIT
(nods)
Six. Got it.
CLEDUS
If I say go to twenty-one, go to
nineteen.
BANDIT
(trying to remember)
Twenty-one is nineteen.
CLEDUS
If I say go to two, it’s really one.
BANDIT
(now totally confused)
Two is one.
(then)
Listen, let’s just stay on the odd
channels and switch everytime. Start
in the basement. Now, let’s haul
ass.
Cledus grabs Fred, who’s still peeing and bounds up the metal
steps of the cab. As Bandit lays twenty feet of rubber, we:
CUT TO:
MISSISSIPPI HIGHWAY - NIGHT
The Cobra followed by the Eighteen-wheeler whip past camera.
(NOTE: From this point on, the Cobra will be referred to as
Bandit I. The Eighteen-wheeler as Bandit II.)
INSIDE BANDIT I (THE COBRA)
The car is cherry. Wooden steering wheel, all leather
upholstery stereo tape deck, harness-style seat belts and a
CB radio identical to the one in Bandit II.
Bandit is talking to Cledus on the CB.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Bandit One, am I hitting you?
INTERCUT - BANDIT II (THE EIGHTEEN-WHEELER)
Cledus picks up his mike. Fred is now riding shotgun.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
You’re wall to wall and tree top
tall.
BANDIT
(into mike)
I’m gonna run a couple miles ahead
of you. Keep both feet on the floor.
We’ll be moving ninety and over.
CLEDUS
(into mike; after a
beat)
Bandit?
BANDIT
(into mike)
Yeah?
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Why are we doing this?
BANDIT
(a beat, then into
mike)
Because they said it couldn’t be
done.
And:
DISSOLVE TO:
THE HIGHWAY - NIGHT
Bandit I and II screaming through the Mississippi night.
Over this a driving Doug Kershaw fiddle.
INSIDE BANDIT
Bandit driving, sipping coffee from a thermos. Sees something.
HIS VIEW - UP AHEAD
A Mississippi Highway Patrol Car is approaching from the
opposite direction.
BACK TO BANDIT
as he eases up on the pedal and fires up his CB mike.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Bandit Two, do you read me?
Bandit glances up in his rear view mirror.
ANGLE - THROUGH REAR VIEW MIRROR
The Mississippi HPC, zips past Bandit and moves on down the
highway.
INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II (DIALOGUE OVERLAPS)
Cledus picks up his mike.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Loud and clear.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Pull your hammer back, Smokey’s coming
at you.
Cledus immediately backs off the accelerator and slows down,
an instant before the Mississippi HPC passes by. Everything
is cool.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
He’s history.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Okay, we got a straight shot to T
Town, so let her roll.
And we:
DISSOLVE TO:
SERIES OF SHOTS
As night slowly begins fading back into day, Bandit I and
Bandit II blast across the Arkansas State Line.
DISSOLVE TO:
THE SUN RISING
behind a sign that reads: Welcome to Texarkana, Texas. A
beat and two blurs whip past camera. Bandit I and II.
CUT TO:
THE WAREHOUSE - DAWN
Bandit I followed by Bandit II pull into the loading area of
a large warehouse.
The place is locked up and the loading dock is empty. Bandit
and Cledus park their vehicles and climb out.
BANDIT
Shit! No one’s here.
CLEDUS
(checking watch)
That’s ’cause we’re damn near an
hour ahead of schedule.
BANDIT
Let’s keep it that way.
Bandit grabs a crowbar from Bandit I and we:
CUT TO:
INSIDE THE WAREHOUSE
Pitch black. A beat, then a loud smash o.s. and the door
slides open, sending a stream of light across the warehouse
floor.
Bandit and Cledus step inside. Bandit crosses to the light
switch and hits it. Suddenly the entire room is bathed in
flourescent. We see the warehouse is filled with cases upon
cases of Coors Beer.
CLEDUS
(whistles low)
Liquid gold.
BANDIT
(nods)
Redneck heaven.
They cross back to the large sliding door and as Bandit pushes
it open, Cledus jumps into the truck’s cab and begins backing
the big rig up to the loading dock.
CUT TO:
THE WAREHOUSE - A FEW MINUTES LATER
The rig’s doors are open and ready for loading. Cledus and
Bandit cross to a brand new fork-lift.
CLEDUS
You know how to drive one of these
things?
BANDIT
Can a pig whistle?
Bandit climbs into the seat of the fork-lift and turns the
key. The engine roars to life. He grins and confidently throws
it into gear. The fork-lift leaps backward and begins speeding
wildly around the warehouse.
CLEDUS
(yelling)
Hit the brakes!
BANDIT
They’re jammed!
RUNNING ANGLE - FOLLOWING THE FORK-LIFT
as it smashes into stacks of Coors cases, sending them flying
in every direction and tossing Bandit out of the seat -- and
into the air.
NEW ANGLE
as Bandit crashes to the ground, surrounded by cases of beer.
He looks up to Cledus.
BANDIT
So much for whistling pigs.
CUT TO:
INSIDE THE WAREHOUSE - TWENTY MINUTES LATER
Bandit II is now almost filled with cases of Coors, as Cledus
guides the fork-lift’s final load onto the loading dock. He
and Bandit unload the final cases and Cledus parks the forklift.
They look around. The place is a wreck.
BANDIT
Let’s get the hell outta here.
CLEDUS
Shouldn’t we pay ’em for the damages?
BANDIT
(snaps his fingers)
Right. Give me your pen. We’ll tell
’em to bill Kyle.
As Bandit pulls out a piece of paper and Cledus hands him a
pen, we:
DISSOLVE TO:
THE TEXARKANA CITY LIMITS SIGN - MORNING
as again, two blurs flash past camera, moving south. Bandit
I and Bandit II -- heading home.
DISSOLVE TO:
ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - HIGH SHOT
It’s now mid-morning, as Camera follows Bandit I and II
rolling through hog country.
OVER:
BANDIT
(over CB)
We still on schedule?
CLEDUS
(over CB)
Forty-two minutes ahead.
INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING (DIALOGUE OVERLAPS)
Bandit holding the CB mike.
BANDIT
(into mike)
I hate to say I told you so.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Save it. We got a long haul.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Clear and rolling.
He hangs up the mike, then sees something ahead of him he
can’t believe.
WHAT HE SEES
Standing in the middle of the highway is a GIRL in a wedding
gown. Off to the side, on the shoulder, is a customized Camaro
with a "Just Married" sign on the back and strings of tin
cans, shoes and streamers. The hood of the Camaro is up.
BACK TO SCENE
as Bandit eases off the accelerator and starts to move around
the Girl.
But the Girl moves with him, waving and blocking his path.
Bandit’s forced to pull off the road and stop. The Girl rushes
up to the Cobra and opens the door.
GIRL
(climbing in)
Thanks.
BANDIT
(it was nothing)
Hey...
The Girl slams the door and turns to Bandit. She’s tall and
sophisticated. A hyper New Yorker in her late twenties. KATE
McCONNELL.
FULL SHOT
as Bandit I pulls away in a cloud of dust and squealing tires,
a beat-up VAN passes, going the other way.
THREE SHITKICKER KIDS are riding in the Van. They watch Bandit
leaving the abandoned "Just Married" car and brake to turn
around. Bandit and Kate don’t notice.
INSIDE BANDIT I - DAY - MOVING
picking up speed.
BANDIT
(after a beat)
Who’s the unlucky guy?
Kate takes off her veil and shakes down her hair. She’s a
beauty. Bandit immediately notices, but keeps driving. She
starts talking a mile-a-minute.
KATE
Okay. I was in Texas dancing in an
industrial show for Sunkist Oranges.
They say I’m the new Anita Bryant.
But I’m really a dancer from New
York. A lot of credits. Moderate
talent.
(rolling on)
Anyway, after opening night, I was
walking back to the motor lodge and
suddenly there he was. A tall Texan
with a twenty-nine inch waist. Pure
dynamite.
BANDIT
All sound reasons for matrimony.
KATE
Look, I’m a twenty-eight year old
hoofer who spends most of her time
with fags. Besides, I’m impulsive.
It runs in the family. We’re all
crazy. Mind if I smoke?
(lights a cigarette)
Anyway, today was the ’bid day.’ But
as I was walking down the aisle, I
realized this is total insanity.
What am I going to do in Texas the
rest of my life? I can’t marry Jerry
Jeff. I mean, we’re eventually gonna
have to talk. So, halfway down the
aisle, I turned and split. You think
I’m nuts, right?
BANDIT
Absolutely not. In fact, I picked up
a bride yesterday; except she was a
singer.
Suddenly, Cledus interrupts over the CB.
CLEDUS
Bandit I, do you copy?
BANDIT
(picking up mike)
This is Bandit I, come back.
INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II
Cledus on the CB.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Who’s the broad? Over.
Bandit turns to the Girl.
KATE
Kate McConnell.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Kate McConnell. Sweet, shy... welldressed.
I’m giving her a lift to
the next waterhole.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Listen, pardner; this ain’t no time
to be getting laid.
KATE
(into mike)
Believe me, that won’t be a problem.
CUT TO:
BANDIT II
Cledus replaces the CB mike and slips Red Simpson’s
"Motivatin’ Man" into the tape deck.
CLEDUS
Never fails. Bandit gets a chick. I
get...
He looks over at Fred, who’s now passed out in the passenger
seat.
CUT TO:
SHINY STRIP OF CHROME
as a pair of plyers rip it off the side of a car and we EASE
BACK to see:
KATE’S ABANDONED CAMARO
still parked along the Arkansas Highway -- now almost
completely stripped by the THREE KIDS in the Van. The car is
up on jacks, as one of the Kids, rolls the last of the four
tires to the rear of the Van. Another kid dumps the chrome
stripping into the cab, while the third, unscrews the radio.
NEW ANGLE
As a TEXAS SHERIFF’S CAR skids to a stop behind them. SHERIFF
BUELL CLAYTON climbs out. Fifty. Ruggedly handsome. An
imposing figure.
CLAYTON
Hey!
The Kids freeze, as the Sheriff strides up to them.
FIRST KID
(pleading)
I swear to God, officer; the car
was. already like this, we were just
trying to...
But Sheriff Clayton doesn’t even notice they’ve stripped
down the entire car. He’s got other problems.
CLAYTON
Did you see the gal who was driving?
She was wearing a wedding dress.
They all nod, still shaking in their jeans.
SECOND KID
(eagerly)
Yes, sir. She got into a cherrylooking
Cobra.
CLAYTON
You get a look at the driver?
FIRST KID
No, but he had Georgia plates. BANONE.
Clayton turns on his heels and leaps back into the Sheriff’s
car, muttering to himself. He jams it into gear and peels
out in a cloud of dust.
The kids exchange bewildered looks, then immediately go back
to stripping the Camaro.
CUT TO:
INSIDE BANDIT I - BANDIT AND KATE
Bandit watching the road. Kate watching Bandit.
KATE
Why’re you driving so fast?
BANDIT
I gotta get back to Atlanta in
thirteen hours.
KATE
Why? You have a bowling date?
BANDIT
Cute. No, ’cause no one’s ever made
it from Atlanta to Texarkana and
back in twenty-eight hours.
KATE
Who’d want to?
BANDIT
I never looked at it that way.
(then)
You ask a lot of questions.
KATE
Why are you doing this obviously
macho feat?
BANDIT
For a new Kenworth. That’s a truck.
KATE
(incredulous)
A truck? You’re doing this for a
truck? That’s insanity.
BANDIT
It’s not a truck. It’s the Rolls
Royce of eighteen-wheelers.
KATE
But you could get killed, right?
BANDIT
Hey, you could get killed crossing
the street.
KATE
An existentialist.
BANDIT
(turns to her)
A what?
KATE
Eyes on the road.
She lights up another cigarette, as we:
CUT TO:
A BIRD’S EYE VIEW
of an endless stretch of Arkansas Highway. Camera follows
two vehicles -- hauling ass. Bandit I, followed a couple of
miles back by Bandit II.
INSIDE BANDIT I - DAY - MOVING
Bandit and Kate.
KATE
(leaning back in her
seat)
So tell me about yourself.
BANDIT
Okay.
A beat. Nothing.
KATE
Well?...
BANDIT
Whaddya want to know? My sign?
KATE
No. I want to know what you think
about besides ditching Smokey?
BANDIT
Having fun.
KATE
Is this fun?
BANDIT
Driving?
KATE
Driving, talking to me...
BANDIT
They’re both a challenge.
KATE
You have a great profile.
BANDIT
Yeah, I do. Especially from that
angle.
She laughs. Then:
KATE
Where you from?
BANDIT
Mattoon, Illinois. But I moved down
south to work in the Civil Rights
movement.
KATE
Seriously?!?
BANDIT
(obviously lying)
Would I lie to you?
CUT TO:
AN ARKANSAS HIGHWAY PATROL CAR
parked off to the side of the highway behind an abandoned
and boarded up diner. The Patrol Car is empty and from a
little transistor radio hanging on the rear view mirror,
Merle Haggard sings, "I Take A Lot Of Pride In What I Am."
Camera moves off the Patrol Car and finds it’s Driver, an
Arkansas Highway Patrolman with crew cut, taking a leak.
Suddenly, Bandit I whips past doing at least a hundred and
almost blowing the OFFICER over. He quickly zips up and races
to his car.
BACK TO BANDIT I - MOVING
Kate has seen the Cop. Bandit hasn’t.
KATE
Guess what?
BANDIT
I give up.
KATE
You just passed your nemesis.
He looks at her.
KATE
Smokey.
Bandit glances up in his rear view mirror.
WHAT HE SEES - THROUGH REAR VIEW MIRROR
the Arkansas Highway Patrol car coming after him, it’s
advertising twirling and siren wailing.
BACK TO SCENE
Bandit turns to Kate.
BANDIT
Better fasten your seat belt.
Bandit slams on his brakes, locking all four tires and sending
the Cobra into a four wheel drift.
KATE
(as they’re sliding)
Good idea.
She buckles up, as Bandit grabs for the CB mike.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Bandit Two. I’m gonna leave you for
a minute. Back in a flash.
INTERCUT - BANDIT II
Cledus on the CB mike.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Keep ’er between the ditches.
ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY
Bandit I slides broadside down the highway and exits down a
dirt road.
DIRT ROAD - DAY
Bandit I roars down the road, leaving clouds of dust in its
wake.
HIGHWAY - DAY
The Arkansas Highway Patrol car does a 180 in the middle of
the highway and takes the dirt road turnoff.
DIRT ROAD - DAY
Bandit I blasts up the dirt road, leaving trails of billowing
dust behind him. The Arkansas Highway Patrol Car in hot
pursuit. Over this:
KATE (V.O.)
What the hell’s going on?
BANDIT (V.O.)
I forget to tell you. I’m running
blocker for four hundred cases of
illegal brew.
A beat, then:
KATE (V.O.)
And I thought I had problems.
INSIDE THE HIGHWAY PATROL CAR - MOVING
The windshield of the car is covered with dust. The Officer
tries to squint through it, but the dust keeps building up.
Finally, he turns on his windshield wipers, making the dust
twice as thick. And now he can’t see anything.
INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING
Bandit looks over his shoulder. Nothing but a solid wall of
dust. He whips the Cobra around a hairpin turn and floors
it.
NEW ANGLE
The Highway Patrol Car misses the turn and goes off the road.
Out of control, the car smashes through a clapboard fence
and sails into:
A SWAMP
It lands with a gigantic splash and water fills the FRAME.
INSIDE BANDIT I
roaring down the dirt road. Kate is turned around in her
seat, looking through the rear window.
BANDIT
Anything?
KATE
(turning back around)
We’re cool. The dumb schmuck took
the wrong turn.
They both breathe a sigh of relief.
KATE
Can I ask you something?
BANDIT
Shoot.
KATE
What do you want to be when you grow
up?
Before he can answer:
CLEDUS (V.O.)
(from CB)
Bandit I. Bandit I. Do you read me?
As Bandit reaches for the mike to answer Cledus, he glances
up.
WHAT HE SEES
A TRACTOR has moved from behind a tree and is crossing the
road directly in front of Bandit I.
Bandit tosses the CB mike to Kate with one hand and swerves
the wheel to the right with the other.
BANDIT
(to Kate)
Say this is Bandit I. Then, over.
As Bandit blasts around the Tractor and down the road, Kate
talks into the mike.
KATE
(into mike)
This is Bandit I. Over.
INTERCUT - BANDIT II
CLEDUS ON THE CB
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Where the hell are you?
KATE
(into mike)
Smokey was on our tail. We had to
take a detour to ditch the motherfu...
BANDIT
(cutting her off)
You can’t swear on these.
CLEDUS
(from CB)
What’s going on, Bandit? Come on.
BANDIT
(to Kate)
Tell him we’ll be back on the highway
in a second.
As Kate starts talking, Fred spots some cows grazing and
starts barking like crazy. Cledus can’t hear a thing.
CLEDUS
(to the dog)
Shut up, Fred.
KATE
(to Bandit)
Who’s Fred?
INSIDE CLAYTON’S CAR - DAY - MOVING
Sheriff Clayton’s been listening to this whole exchange on
his CB.
KATE (V.O.)
Bandit II. We’ll be back on the
highway in a second. Over.
CLEDUS (V.O.)
I’ll keep my eyeballs peeled.
CLAYTON
(thin smile)
So will I, hoss. So will I.
CUT BACK TO:
INSIDE BANDIT I
Kate replaces the CB mike.
KATE
(referring to CB)
These things are fabulous.
A beat.
KATE
You know, you’re not a bad driver.
BANDIT
You know, you’re not a bad passenger.
They glance at each other for a moment, then both look away.
Back at each other. Then away again. And we:
CUT TO:
ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY
The eighteen-wheel Bandit II, rolling.
ANOTHER SECTION OF THE HIGHWAY
Sheriff Clayton barrelling down the blacktop.
AN EMBANKMENT
as Bandit I screeches up over the embankment -- putting him
back on the highway. He floors it and they’re off.
INSIDE BANDIT I - DAY - MOVING
Bandit flicks his CB selector to the next odd channel.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Bandit II, do you copy?
INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II
Cledus picks up the mike. Fred is now snoring.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
This is Bandit II. Now, where the
hell are you?
BANDIT
(into mike)
On two lane blacktop. Mile marker
six-one. How we doin’ on time?
CLEDUS
(checks watch, then
into mike)
Thirty-eight minutes ahead of
schedule.
BANDIT
(into mike)
What’s your twenty?
CLEDUS
I’m ’bout four miles ahead of you,
turkey.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Not for long, you ain’t.
As Bandit’s about to hang up the mike, a NEW VOICE comes on.
VOICE
(from CB)
Breaker. Breaker.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Go breaker.
VOICE
(from CB)
Bandit, I just thought I’d lay a
Smokey report on you.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Go head on, breaker.
VOICE
(from CB)
I would say your future’s looking
dim, boss.
BANDIT
(into mike, nervous)
What’s your twenty and what’s your
handle?
VOICE
(from CB)
My handle’s Smokey Bear and I got
you by the tail.
A SIREN BLASTS behind them, whipping Bandit and Kate around.
THEIR VIEW - THRU REAR WINDOW
Sheriff Clayton is right on their ass -- no more than three
feet away -- his siren wailing and his advertising flashing.
BACK TO SCENE
Bandit slams down the CB mike.
BANDIT
(to Kate)
That’s a Texas cop. What the hell’s
he doing in Arkansas?
KATE
(uneasy)
I don’t know. Maybe Jerry Jeff sent
the heat after us.
BANDIT
(worried)
A Texas Bear in Arkansas.
(then)
Something’s up and at this point in
my life, I don’t want to know what
it is.
He trounces on it and the Shelby Cobra II springs to life,
laying twenty feet of third gear rubber. Suddenly, the Texas
Sheriff’s car looks like it’s standing on jacks.
INSIDE SHERIFF’S CAR
as Sheriff Clayton floorboards it and takes off after Bandit
I.
CLAYTON
(to himself)
I’m gonna get that bastard. No one
makes Buell Clayton look like a fool.
Let’s get going.
ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY
as Bandit I races past camera. A beat and here comes the
Texas Sheriff. Hard and fast.
INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING
Bandit is all concentration. Both hands on the wheel. Pressing
120 MPH. Kate fumbles for her cigarettes, but they all go
flying out of the pack. One lands on her lap. She lights it.
BANDIT’S VIEW
up ahead, the big rear end of Bandit II.
BACK TO SCENE
Bandit fires up his CB and flips to the next odd channel.
BANDIT
(into mike)
I’m whipping around you, Bandit II.
Smokey on the rubber.
INSIDE BANDIT II - MOVING
Cledus looks up ahead.
HIS VIEW
Traffic. Coming head on.
BACK TO CLEDUS
keying the mike.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
You’re gonna have to create your own
lane, buddy. You got oncoming.
INSIDE BANDIT
Bandit turns to Kate. She shrugs and closes her eyes. He
floors it.
KATE
(a mile-a-minute)
You know, my mother was a dancer,
too. Her big shot was the touring
company of ’Brigadoon.’ She’s been
married three times. To a redneck, a
poet and her tennis instructor.
(not missing a beat)
See, I motor-mouth when I get nervous.
I was nervous when I first got into
the car. Now I’m scared shitless.
BANDIT
Believe me, there’s nothing to be
afraid of.
With that, Bandit flies off the highway, onto the shoulder.
Kate closes her eyes even tighter.
FULL SHOT
as Bandit pulls alongside the big eighteen-wheeler, hanging
onto the shoulder for his life.
HIS VIEW
up ahead -- a dirt road crossing. He’ll never make it past
the huge eighteen-wheeler in time.
NEW ANGLE
as Bandit I hits the dirt road crossing, flies into the air,
comes down, smashes into a highway sign and sends it
splintering twenty feet into the air. Before he can whip the
wheel around, Bandit is staring at an endless row of rural
mailboxes. Kate turns her head, as Bandit I mows down the
mailboxes. Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap!
Bandit drops the Cobra into first, zooms past Bandit II and
sails back onto the highway.
BANDIT
Still with me?
Kate slowly opens her eyes. She’s alive.
ANGLE - SHERIFF CLAYTON’S CAR
trapped behind the huge eighteen-wheeler. Clayton pulls out
in an attempt to squeeze between Bandit II and the oncoming
traffic.
Brakes squeal, as SEVEN CARS are forced to hit the side
shoulder. Just as Clayton moves halfway past the eighteenwheeler,
Cledus puts on the press -- edging Sheriff Clayton
over.
Clayton’s rear fender catches on the rig and rips off with a
terrifying SCREECH. As his fender bounces down the highway,
Clayton pulls in front of Bandit II a split-second before an
oncoming BUS almost creams him.
INSIDE BANDIT II
Cledus sees the passing car is Texas heat and immediately
flips over to the next odd channel and keys up his CB.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Bandit I, do I have copy?
INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II
Bandit’s pushing the red line on his speedometer and gestures
for Kate to pick up the CB mike.
KATE
(into mike)
Yeah, Bandit II, Que pasa?
CLEDUS
(into mike)
That’s a Texas bubble gum machine on
your back porch.
KATE
(has no idea what he
just said)
What’s he...
Bandit grabs the mike.
BANDIT
(driving and talking)
Uh, Cledus; I noticed.
He starts to hang it up.
CLEDUS (V.O.)
(from CB)
What’s a Texas Smokey doing in
Arkansas, man?
BANDIT
(yelling into mike)
If I knew, Cledus; I’d be on College
Bowl.
Bandit slams down the mike and the accelerator.
HIGHWAY - DAY
and the chase is on. High speed. Way over a hundred. Two
blurs through the Arkansas countryside.
INSIDE CLAYTON’S CAR
Sheriff Clayton is on his police radio.
CLAYTON
(into mike)
This is Sheriff Clayton. In pursuit
of a black Shelby Cobra, Georgia
license Boy-Adam-Nora. Ocean-Nora-
Eddie. Request assistance.
CUT TO:
TWO ARKANSAS SHERIFF’S CARS
blasting off down the highway in response. Lights twirling.
Sirens wailing.
INSIDE THE LEAD CAR - MOVING
SHERIFF WILLY BRANFORD is riding shotgun. He’s fat and
arrogant. He chews bubble gum as he talks on the radio mike.
A DEPUTY is driving. He’s twenty-five, wears long sideburns
and mirrored sunglasses.
BRANFORD
(into mike)
This is Sheriff Branford of Crossett
County. We’re already on this joker’s
case.
(he pops a bubble)
I got two units intercepting him at
Hamburg crossing. You say you was a
Sheriff?
INTERCUT - SHERIFFS CLAYTON AND BRANFORD
Clayton has trouble steering and talking.
CLAYTON
(into mike)
That’s a big ten-four. Sheriff Buell
Clayton. Texas.
BRANFORD
(stunned, into mike)
Texas? What the hell you doing in my
goddam county?!?
At that instant, Clayton hits a rut in the road and drops
his mike. He bends to pick it up and the car slides off the
shoulder.
Before he can regain control, Clayton’s headed straight for:
AN ABANDONED FRUIT AND VEGETABLE STAND
Clayton’s car crashes through the stand -- flattening it.
RUNNING ANGLE
He blasts out on the other side, now sporting one busted
headlight and a dented grill. Somehow he manages to make it
back to the road, losing a hubcap on the way.
BRANFORD
(over CB)
I said...
CLAYTON
(picking up mike off
floor)
I heard what you said. And I said...
BRANFORD
(cutting him cold)
I don’t care what you said. You’re
from Texas and what you said don’t
mean jack diddly here in Arkansas!
Clayton slams down the mike.
ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT
Bandit I whips around a treacherous bend in the highway,
leaving Sheriff Clayton in the distance.
INSIDE SHERIFF BRANFORD’S CAR
The Arkansas Sheriff is mad. He spits his gum out the window --
but it’s closed. The gum falls back in his lap. He looks at
it, then pops it back in his mouth again and turns to his
Deputy.
BRANFORD
What the hell you looking at?
Before the Deputy can answer, Clayton’s voice is back.
CLAYTON (V.O.)
(radio)
This is Sheriff Clayton again. I
lost the Cobra, but he’s deadheaded
toward you doing damn near 140. If I
was you I’d set up a roadblock.
BRANFORD
(grabbing mike)
-- And if I was you, I wouldn’t be
telling me what to do! Now take a
hike, buster!!!
(he angrily hangs up
the mike and turns
to his Deputy)
Block the road.
HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT
The two Arkansas Sheriff’s cars slow down and form a
roadblock.
Branford and his Deputy climb out of the car. Branford spits
out his gum, as two other DEPUTIES climb out of the second
car. The four officers move behind their cars. To wait.
A SPEEDOMETER
The needle pressing 120. Ease back and we’re:
INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING
as Bandit turns to Kate, who’s looking out the rear window.
BANDIT
Well?
KATE
We lost him.
Bandit sighs relief, then:
A VOICE
(from CB)
Bandit do you read me?
BANDIT
(picking up mike)
This is Bandit, you’re coming in
long and strong.
VOICE
(from CB)
My handle’s Silver Tongued Devil and
I’m here to tell you, your fellow
CB’ers are mighty proud of y’all.
BANDIT
Thanks much, Silver Tongued Devil.
SILVER TONGUED DEVIL
(from CB)
But I got a bad Bear story.
Bandit and Kate look at each other.
SILVER TONGUED DEVIL
I just rolled past a county mounty
roadblock down on eighty-two.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Thanks Silver Tongued Devil, we’ll
avoid.
SILVER TONGUED DEVIL
(from CB)
Keep the wheels spinning and the
beavers grinning.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Adios.
He hangs up the mike.
KATE
(referring to Silver
Tongued Devil)
Classy guy.
Bandit grins and takes a curve at 90. Then they both look
up.
WHAT THEY SEE
The roadblock. No way around it.
BACK TO SCENE
Bandit looks ahead down both sides of the highway. Thinks
quick.
HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT
as Bandit I comes roaring down the highway headed directly
for the roadblock. A farmhouse is off to the side, about a
hundred yards before the roadblock.
NEW ANGLE
Bandit I swerves off the highway, throwing itself into a
broadside. The car lurches onto the Farmhouse driveway and
barrels across the front yard. It snaps a clothesline full
of clothes, sending bras, panties, shirts and socks flying
in every direction.
It then crashes through a chicken yard and corral fence,
sending whatever animals are available -- flying toward
freedom.
RACING ANGLE
as Bandit I roars across a fruit orchard, weaving in and
around rows and rows of trees, finally slamming onto an access
road and back onto the highway -- way ahead of the roadblock!
BRANFORD AND HIS MEN
stand there like statues with their mouths hanging open. A
beat, then all four cops race toward their cars, leap in and
take off.
INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING
a rattled Kate turns to Bandit. She’s about to speak, but
sees his intense concentration and says nothing.
THEIR VIEW - THE HIGHWAY
up ahead. Coming straight at them, down the center of the
road -- another Arkansas Sheriff’s car.
BANDIT
Christ, it looks like a Smokey
convention.
BACK TO SCENE
Bandit whips the wheel to the right and again, the Cobra is
airborne -- flying off the highway, careening down the
shoulder, through a creek and up onto another dirt road.
THE SHERIFF’S CAR
spins around in the middle of the highway -- almost flipping
over in the process -- straightens out and takes off over
the shoulder after Bandit I.
CAMERA PANS
back to the highway. As Sheriff Branford’s two Patrol cars
come blasting down the highway. They stop at the shoulder. A
beat. Then they take off over the shoulder in pursuit.
CAMERA PANS
back again. As Sheriff Clayton’s Texas Highway Patrol car
skids to a stop.
INSIDE CLAYTON’S CAR
Clayton surveys the situation. Bandit I roaring along the
dirt road -- the three Arkansas Sheriff cars on his tail. He
makes a decision.
CLAYTON
(muttering to himself)
We’ll meet again, Bandit.
And he floors it taking off down the highway.
CUT TO:
THE DIRT ROAD - MOVING - HIGH SHOT
as the three Arkansas Sheriff’s cars race after Bandit I.
They’re on a treacherously narrow road. On both sides -- a
long sheer drop -- to water.
INSIDE SHERIFF BRANFORD’S CAR
His Deputy is doing at least 80, as he pulls within a few
feet of the lead car. The Deputy angrily honks his horn.
DEPUTY
I’m gonna pass this fruit!
BRANFORD
Just back off the hammer, boy.
DEPUTY
But sir, he’s gonna get away.
BRANFORD
He ain’t gonna get nothin’ but a
brief mention in the obituary column.
The Deputy turns to him, not understanding.
BRANFORD
(with a smile)
The bridge up ahead is out.
HIGH SHOT - THE NARROW DIRT ROAD
The four cars kicking up dust for miles.
CREEK - DAY - FULL SHOT
where the dirt road ends. But the bridge that once crossed
the banks -- is gone.
A beat and Bandit I comes roaring straight toward the creek.
INSIDE BANDIT I
Bandit and Kate see the creek. No bridge. End of the road.
Bandit barely has time to hit the brakes, sending the Cobra
into a wild fishtail. Kate desperately braces herself, hanging
onto the dashboard.
FULL SHOT
as Bandit wheels the Cobra a full 360° and comes to a halt.
He looks back.
HIS VIEW - DOWN THE ROAD
a half mile back, the Arkansas Sheriff’s are coming on fast.
Sirens blasting. The choices are simple. Give up. Or jump
the creek.
BANDIT
(turning to Kate)
Listen, we can either give up or...
Kate holds the dashboard tighter and closes her eyes.
KATE
Just do it.
THE CREEK - DAY
Bandit slams the Cobra into first and takes off. Gears grind.
Tires screech.
INSIDE BANDIT I
The speedometer whizzes past eighty. Bandit holds the wheel
tight. Kate takes a breath, then crosses herself.
RACING ANGLE
as Bandit I blasts toward the embankment, hits the dirt
incline and suddenly is airborne.
FULL SHOT - THE CREEK
Bandit I in mid-air.
NEW ANGLE
as Bandit I sails over camera and comes crashing down on the
other side. They made it!
INSIDE BANDIT I
as Bandit and Kate catch their breath.
BANDIT
Your honeymoon would’ve never been
this exciting.
KATE
I don’t know. We were planning on
seeing the Astrodome.
Bandit grins and as they take off:
CAMERA PANS BACK
to the creek. As the first Sheriff’s car comes roaring toward
the edge doing at least 95. He sees the bridge is out, hits
his brakes, goes broadside and flies over the side -- into
the creek.
A beat and Sheriff Branford’s car comes wailing down the
road. The Deputy slams down his brakes in the nick of time
and the car skids halfway over the edge -- hanging suspended
in mid-air halfway over the creek.
ANOTHER ANGLE
as the Third Sheriff’s car comes barrelling down the road,
spots Branford’s car hanging over the edge and brakes. But
its rear end slings around, smashing into the rear of
Branford’s car, sending it flying into the creek. A huge
splash, then:
CUT TO:
INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING
as they roar off the dirt road, back onto the highway, Bandit
reaches for the CB mike.
BANDIT
(to himself)
Christ, what channel are we on?...
KATE
Eleven.
Bandit looks at Kate as she reaches under the seat for one
of her errant cigarettes. Then, he punches in eleven.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Bandit II. Bandit II. Give me a shout.
INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II
Cledus grabs the mike quickly. Fred has been gnawing on the
corner of the front seat.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
I hope that’s you, buddy; ’cause I’d
hate to start believing in ghosts.
BANDIT
(into mike)
What does the old Timex say?
CLEDUS
(into mike)
She’s losing minutes so you better
start running interference or we’re
never gonna make it. Might I remind
you this was your brainstorm.
BANDIT
(into mike)
I’ll drop off my fare, hit a quick
choke-and-puke and be blocking for
you pronto.
Kate tries not to react to this.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Bandit?
BANDIT
(into mike)
Yeah, guy?
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Pick up a burger for Fred. He’s going
crazy.
(slaps Fred on the
butt)
Bandit puts the mike back and turns to Kate. Feels he should
say something. Before he can:
KATE
You heard the man. Step on it.
Bandit studies her for a moment, then stomps on it.
CUT TO:
A TRUCK STOP CAFE - A FEW MINUTES LATER
Bandit I pulls in between a row of eighteen-wheelers parked
in front of the cafe. A few Truckers, bragging about their
rigs, check out Bandit and Kate. They’re especially taken
with Kate’s wedding gown. She and Bandit are oblivious to
them.
BANDIT
(turns to Kate)
The bus’ll pick you up over there.
(a beat)
Uh... you got enough bread for a
ticket?
KATE
Enough to get to Jersey. I’ll walk
the rest of the way. I’ve been sitting
a long time.
(a beat)
Nice meeting you. It’s been a trip.
BANDIT
(it was nothing)
Hey...
KATE
Enjoy your Kenworth.
She offers her hand and they shake. Then, Bandit heads toward
the truck stop and Kate to the bus stop. He turns and looks
back. She doesn’t.
CUT TO:
INSIDE THE TRUCK STOP
about fifteen Truckers inside. Buck Owens playing on the
juke box. Pinball machines going strong.
Bandit walks in and crosses to the counter. A hot-looking
WAITRESS with ratted hair and painted face stands in front
of a blackboard where the menu of the day is written. She
straightens herself and crosses to Bandit.
WAITRESS
(coming on)
What’s your pleasure?
BANDIT
(quickly)
Couple of cheeseburgers, no
condiments...
WAITRESS
No what?
BANDIT
Nothing on ’em and two cups of mud;
one while I’m waiting.
Bandit crosses to a booth, as a couple of TRUCKERS enter and
join another TRUCKER sitting in the booth next to Bandit.
TRUCKER #1
Jesus, Richmond; you look like
squirrel shit.
TRUCKER #2
You wanna drive fourteen hundred
miles for these cheap bastards? I
feel like leaving my rig in the middle
of the highway and tellin’ them to
kiss my antenna.
TRUCKER #1
I know what you mean, good buddy.
The Waitress comes over with Bandit’s coffee. He pours in a
ton of sugar and stirs. As he takes a sip, he hears:
WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
Hi.
Bandit whips around.
WHAT HE SEES
Kate. Standing in front of him -- sans wedding dress. She’s
now wearing tight jeans and a denim shirt with the bottom
rolled up and knotted above her midriff. She looks foxier
than ever.
KATE
(with a southern drawl)
The bus ain’t passin’ through these
here parts for a piece.
(sliding into booth)
I know. You only have a second.
CLOSER ANGLE
as they sit across from each other.
KATE
They wouldn’t take Master Charge so
I traded in my gown.
The Waitress comes by.
WAITRESS
(snippy; to Kate)
Coffee?
KATE
Please.
Bandit watches as she takes a sip.
KATE
Jesus!!!
BANDIT
Trucker coffee. It’s three times
stronger. Good for a hundred miles.
That, a coupla perks, and you can
leap tall buildings in a single bound.
WAITRESS
(calling O.S.)
Order up!
BANDIT
That’s me.
He gulps down a half a cup of coffee and rises.
BANDIT
See ya, Kate.
KATE
Ciao.
TRACK WITH BANDIT
moving quickly to the counter to pick up his order. Behind
him; we notice one of the Truckers from the next booth gets
up and crosses to Kate.
Bandit reaches in his pocket to pay for the order:
WAITRESS
(seductive)
Sure I can’t interest you in anything
else?
BANDIT
(smiles)
Another time.
Bandit picks up his order and turns toward the door. He sees
the Trucker talking to Kate. The Trucker’s buddies have turned
around in their booth and are all over her.
Bandit sets the food down on the counter and crosses to the
booth.
KATE
(to Truckers)
-- Believe me, fellas; I’d love to
schmoos, but...
TRUCKER #1
Don’t be so conceited. You don’t
even know us.
TRUCKER #2
(an ugly dude)
To know us, is to love us.
Bandit steps between them.
BANDIT
Hey, how y’all doin’?
TRUCKER #2
Who wants to know?
BANDIT
Listen, guys; I’m in a rush. Otherwise
I’d arrange it so they had to carry
you outta here in doggie bags.
TRUCKER #1
You and what goddamn army?
The Truckers all turn to Bandit, ready to mop the floor with
him. The restaurant is silent, except for Willie Nelson, now
singing on the juke box. Every eye is on them. A brawl looks
inevitable.
KATE
(worried)
Bandit, please...
TRUCKER #2
(totally surprised,
almost yelling)
Bandit?!? You’re the Bandit? The
fella been runnin’ the blue troopers
ragged?
Bandit looks around self-consciously. Nods.
TRUCKER #2
Lemme shake your hand, boy! You’re
my new goddamn idol.
TRUCKER #1
(slapping Bandit on
the back)
You’re the rage of CB land. We been
followin’ you for hours.
TRUCKER #2
If we’da known you was the Bandit,
we wouldn’t a never lipped off to
your old lady.
BANDIT
Well, she’s not exactly my...
TRUCKER #3
(jumping in)
Lemme have your autograph, hoss!
Everyone in the restaurant crowds around Bandit and he starts
hurriedly signing autographs.
KATE
I’ve done twenty-eight Broadway shows
and no one’s ever asked me for an
autograph.
Then:
BANDIT
(to the group, starting
off)
Listen, guys, I gotta cover ground.
I’m due in Atlanta in less than ten
hours.
TRUCKER #1
Good luck.
TRUCKER #2
Give our best to Jimmy Carter.
Kate slips out of the booth, as Bandit crosses back to the
counter.
ANGLE - COUNTER
Bandit grabs his order and finds the OWNER facing him --
holding out Bandit’s money.
OWNER
It’s on the house.
BANDIT
(grins)
Thanks.
He turns to leave.
OWNER
Son...
Bandit turns back.
OWNER
Godspeed.
Bandit smiles. Then starts out. He notices Kate is gone.
Shrugs. Heads out the door.
OUTSIDE THE TRUCK STOP - DAY
Bandit bolts out in time to see his Cobra pulling out, about
to take off.
NEW ANGLE
as Bandit leaps off the steps and races toward the car, just
as it peels out. He swings the passenger door open and is
half in -- half out, as the Cobra skids out the truck stop,
over the curb and onto the highway. The door’s still wide
open. Bandit hanging on.
INSIDE BANDIT I
Kate’s behind the wheel. She tromps on it and the car takes
off like greased lightening. Bandit’s struggling to stay in
the car.
BANDIT
(hanging on)
What the hell are you doing?!?
KATE
(gestures over her
shoulder)
He’s after us again!
Kate whips around a corner almost throwing Bandit onto the
pavement. He grabs her arm and manages to pull himself into
the car and slam the door. He looks back.
HIS VIEW - THRU REAR WINDOW
Sheriff Clayton’s Texas Highway Patrol car is after them
again. Siren blasting.
BACK TO SCENE
Bandit turns to Kate.
BANDIT
You know this guy, don’t you?
KATE
(driving hard, eyes
on the road)
I’ve never seen him before in my
life. I’m just trying to help you
out.
BANDIT
By stealing my car?
KATE
I would’ve come back for you.
BANDIT
(not believing)
Yeah.
KATE
(turning to him, dead
serious)
Yeah.
She wraps a corner doing 60, hits the highway and puts it to
the floor. Clayton’s battered up car is still coming on
strong.
INSIDE THE CLAYTON’S CAR - MOVING
Sheriff Clayton’s eyes are glazed as he tears after Bandit
I.
CLAYTON
(to himself)
I’m gonna get you, you dirty,
stinking, rotten sumbitch.
BACK TO BANDIT
Kate at the wheel.
KATE
Look, the truth is, I didn’t want to
be dumped at the truck stop. I wanted
to go on with you. I needed an excuse.
BANDIT
You could’ve asked.
KATE
You might have said no. I have trouble
handling rejection.
THE HIGHWAY
Bandit I streaks past, Kate driving. A beat and a big rig,
hauling a crane comes out of a side road. The truck moves
slowly down the highway -- a wide load.
SHERIFF CLAYTON’S CAR
roaring up.
INSIDE THE CAR
Clayton floors it and hunches low over the wheel as he passes
the truck -- afraid the crane’s going to take off his head.
FULL SHOT
as Sheriff Clayton’s car zooms under the crane, clearing it
by a hair. But the crane rips off Clayton’s lights and siren.
Leaving only wires and a gaping hole in the roof of the car.
ARKANSAS HIGHWAY - DAY
Bandit I streaking. Kate takes a dangerous curve doing 85.
Bandit gasps, but Kate holds her own.
BANDIT
Where did you learn how to drive
like this?
KATE
Like what?
He smiles.
KATE
My first father was a redneck. He
taught me how to drive fast and pants
people.
Bandit picks up the CB mike, flicking the crystal selector
two stops.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Breaker, this is Bandit I, how are
your vocal cords?
INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II
Cledus takes his mike. Fred is on all fours in the now chewedup
front seat. Bouncing around.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
My vocal cords are fine, but Fred’s
ain’t. He’s been barking, eating the
seats and driving me crackers.
(Fred barks)
Hear that? Where’s his chow?
BANDIT
(into mike)
On its way. Give me a coupla minutes,
okay?
CLEDUS
(into mike)
Do I have a choice?
BANDIT
(into mike)
What’s your twenty?
CLEDUS
(into mike)
’Bout fourteen miles this side of
Mississippi.
CLEDUS’ VIEW
up ahead -- an Arkansas Highway Patrol car is parked off to
the side, hidden by a clump of Magnolia Trees.
BACK TO SCENE
Cledus brings it down to 55 and rolls past TWO OFFICERS
standing next to their car, holding a radar gun.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
I just passed two Kojacks with a
Kodak.
(then)
Man, this highway’s crawling with
Bears. Ain’t no way we gonna make
Atlanta on time without you runnin’
blocker.
Bandit looks back over his shoulder. Then:
BANDIT
(into mike)
I’m still trying to ditch this Texas
Smokey. I don’t know what the sucker
wants.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
What they all want -- to handcuff a
hero.
BANDIT
(into mike)
As far as John Law knows, I’m just a
joy ridin’ Georgia redneck. We keep
’em outta your backyard, we’re cool.
(looking back again)
Now just give me five to ditch this
idiot and I’ll meet you in Ole Miss.
CLEDUS
(into mike)
If you don’t, we can kiss that
Kenworth good-bye.
Bandit replaces the mike, glances up to the rear view.
HIS VIEW - THROUGH REAR VIEW MIRROR
Sheriff Clayton -- gaining ground.
BACK TO SCENE
They’re speeding around curves now, Kate doing her best to
control the Cobra. She takes a corner too fast and too wide.
Bandit I drifts into the oncoming lane and suddenly they’re
staring at:
A CAMPER
coming straight at them. A Mother, Father and Two Children
all riding in the front seat.
FULL SHOT
Kate swerves back into her lane, avoiding a head-on by less
than a split second.
BANDIT
I think we should switch seats.
He puts his hands on the steering wheel and his foot on the
accelerator, but he and Kate get tangled up trying to make
the switch.
The car goes out of control -- smashes into a guard railing
and bounces back onto the highway.
They try to switch again. Impossible.
BANDIT
(fastening seat belt)
You go ahead. This seat’s more
comfortable.
THE HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT
Bandit I streaking, followed in the distance by the Texas
Highway Patrol car.
Coming down the highway, from the opposite direction -- is a
long, long, long FUNERAL PROCESSION.
Suddenly, Bandit I swerves to the right and starts across
the highway.
BANDIT (V.O.)
Mississippi’s the other way!
KATE (V.O.)
You want to lose this putz or not?!?
With that, Bandit I zips between two limos heading the Funeral
Procession, crosses the highway, sails over the embankment
and swerves onto a bumpy dirt path.
CAMERA WHIPS BACK
to Sheriff Clayton’s car -- roaring straight at us.
INSIDE CLAYTON’S CAR
Sheriff Clayton spots Bandit I across the highway, flying
down the bumpy dirt path. He hits his brakes and the car
screeches to a halt.
ANGLE - CLAYTON
forced to sit and wait, as the Funeral Procession passes
slowly by. He’s livid. Lays on the horn.
THE HIGHWAY - DAY
as the vehicles in the passing lane are all forced to come
to a halt to avoid crashing into Clayton -- who sits in the
middle of the highway waiting for the endless Funeral
Procession to pass. Horns honk. People yell. Clayton waits.
THE BUMPY DIRT PATH
Bandit I bounces along, past rows and rows of tall Magnolia
trees.
INSIDE BANDIT
Kate and Bandit bouncing from seat to ceiling.
KATE
(motor-mouthing)
-- You know, I used to be a high
fashion model. Tried it for six months
and almost freaked. Makeup, silly
clothes, a little man saying ’darling’
every two seconds...
BANDIT
Yeah, it’s tough when your cheekbones
are your main asset.
KATE
(nods, then sees
something O.S.)
Uh-oh.
WHAT SHE SEES
up ahead. The path ends. There’s an incline and past that a
long low fence. There’s no way around or past it.
BACK TO SCENE
Kate and Bandit look back. The Funeral Procession has almost
passed. Clayton’s is waiting. Gunning his engine. He ain’t
giving up.
BANDIT
I think you’d better let me...
Before Bandit can finish, Kate trounces on it, driving
straight toward the fence.
RACING ANGLE
as Bandit I blasts toward the incline, hits it doing 70 and
sails over the fence.
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE
we HEAR the CRACK of a baseball bat and a CENTER FIELDER, in
full uniform, takes off after a long fly ball. He stops in
his tracks at what he sees.
REVERSE ANGLE
as Bandit I flies over the fence and lands in the middle of
a MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME.
The Center Fielder is absolutely flabbergasted, as Kate
straightens out the Shelby Cobra and takes off across the
baseball field.
She roars over second base and does a 360° fishtail in the
middle of the pitchers mound. PLAYERS scatter in every
direction.
NEW ANGLE - MOVING
as Kate speeds past the dugout and a CHEERING CROWD, back to
an access road.
Up ahead. The highway. And safety.
INSIDE BANDIT I
Kate looks over to Bandit, a huge grin on her face.
KATE
Baseball needs a little pizzazz.
BACK ON THE HIGHWAY
The Funeral Procession finally passes and Clayton zooms across
the highway and onto the bumpy dirt path.
BACK ON THE DIRT PATH
Sheriff Clayton’s car comes to a sliding halt in front of
the fence. He looks around for some sign of Bandit I. Nothing.
They’ve vanished.
CLAYTON
(to himself)
This is beginning to piss me off.
The path is far too narrow to turn around, so as he begins
the arduous chore of driving in reverse down the long narrow
path, knocking off his remaining hub caps on the way, we:
CUT TO:
HIGHWAY SIGN
reading Welcome to Mississippi. A black streak whizzes past.
INSIDE BANDIT I - MOVING
Kate still at the wheel. Bandit on the CB.
BANDIT
(into mike)
-- Gimme a twenty, pardner.
CLEDUS (V.O.)
(from CB)
I’m at marker eight-five.
BANDIT
(into mike)
Son-of-a-gun. Me too.
BANDIT II
moving along the highway. Cledus looks out the sideview window
of the big eighteen-wheeler.
HIS VIEW - THROUGH SIDEVIEW MIRROR
Bandit I coming up to his back door.
BACK TO SCENE
as Cledus signals with his arm and pulls the, rig off to the
side of the road.
The door opens and Cledus climbs down the metal steps of the
truck, followed by Fred. They both take a long, healthy
stretch, as Bandit I pulls to a stop behind them.
NEW ANGLE
Bandit and Kate get out of the Cobra. Cledus is surprised to
see her. She immediately crosses to him and offers her hand.
KATE
I’m Kate. You must be Cledus.
CLEDUS
(shaking hands,
awkwardly)
Yes, ma’am.
KATE
How’s your twenty?
Cledus doesn’t get it. Bandit laughs, unwraps the hamburger.
BANDIT
Here you go, pal.
He holds the hamburger out for the dog, who wolfs it down in
one bite, then goes off to relieve himself.
Cledus takes Bandit by the arm and pulls him aside.
CLEDUS
I thought you were dumping the chick
at the truck stop.
BANDIT
I ran into complications.
CLEDUS
I hate to say it...
BANDIT
Then don’t.
CLEDUS
(rolling on)
-- But everytime we’ve ever messed
up, it’s because your rhyme’s overruling
your reason. I know you think
you’re God’s gift to waitresses,
but...
BANDIT
(interupts)
Just don’t worry about it.
(then)
How we doin’ timewise?
CLEDUS
Not good enough to be standing here
shooting the bull.
BANDIT
(turns to leave)
We’re gone.
CLEDUS
Bandit?
Bandit turns to him.
CLEDUS
(referring to Kate)
Nice ass.
Bandit grins, moves to the car.
BANDIT
(whistles to Kate)
Let’s hit it.
KATE
(crossing to Bandit I)
Nice meeting you, Cledus. Keep on
truckin’.
Cledus smiles, as Bandit and Kate climb into the Cobra. Bandit
starts the engine and they’re off.
Cledus pulls a crowbar out of the rig and begins hitting all
his tires. Checking them out. As he does this:
CLEDUS
(calling)
Let’s roll, Fred.
Cledus finishes the tires, but Fred isn’t moving.
CLEDUS
C’mon, Fred.
Nothing. The dog stares at him. Cledus takes a step forward.
Fred takes a step backward. Cledus takes two steps forward.
And Fred takes off. Running through the woods.
CLEDUS
(running after him)
Fred!!!!!!
CUT TO:
INSIDE BANDIT I
rolling. They’re silent for a long time. Then:
KATE
You plan on driving trucks all your
life?
BANDIT
No, actually I was thinking of
becoming a brain surgeon.
She laughs, as we:
CUT BACK TO:
CLEDUS CHASING FRED
through the woods. As he’s about to nab him, the Dog cuts
right and Cledus sprawls left.
CUT BACK TO:
INSIDE BANDIT I
Kate and Bandit. Talking. More relaxed.
BANDIT
-- Trucking ain’t the easiest life
in the world. I mean, you can’t make
it much past fifty and you sure as
shit don’t get a gold watch when you
hang it all up. But I like keeping
on the move. You know?
KATE
Do I know? I’m an authority on it.
BANDIT
I guess if there’s one lesson I’ve
learned, it’s that even misery has a
tough time hitting a moving target.
(then, realizing)
I forgot your question?
KATE
You plan on driving trucks all your
life?
BANDIT
(shr