Serial Mom Script
Second Draft: July 22, 1992
1. Film opens with prologue title: "This is a true
story. The screenplay is based on court testimony,
sworn declarations, and hundreds of interviews
conducted by the film-makers". Fade out.
Fade in to second prologue title: "Some of the
innocent characters’ names have been changed in the
interests of a larger truth". Fade out.
Fade in to final prologue title: "No one involved
in the crimes received any form of financial
compensation". Fade out.
2. Establishing shot of upper-middle class suburban home.
We hear on the soundtrack the daily morning chatter
of a family rushing to get to work and school.
Subtitle appears: "2815 Calverton Court. The
Sutphin Family". Fade out.
Second subtitle fades in: "Friday, September 18th,
1992. 7:08am". Fade out.
3. Interior cheery, bright SUTPHIN kitchen. CREDITS
BEGIN.
MOM, BEVERLY, a trim, fortyish, pretty Betty Crocker
of the 90’s, grabs the toast as it pops up and
butters it. She waves cheerfully out the kitchen
window to the passing GARBAGEMEN on the back of a
Baltimore County garbage truck and then turns to her
husband and children and expertly begins to serve
breakfast.
DAD, EUGENE, the ultimate nice guy and a dentist by
trade, divides the morning paper up between himself
and son CHIP, a cute semi-hip kid who is still in
high-school. Daughter, MISTY, a pretty and slightly
overweight college student, frantically prices the
junk she plans on selling at the flea market after
classes while gulping down a light breakfast.
MOM
Who wants fruit salad?
MISTY
I do, please.
MOM
(Hesitating)
That’s not gum in your mouth,
is it?
MISTY
(Removing it)
It’s sugarless.
MOM
(Gently)
You know how I hate gum,
Misty. All that chomping
and cheesing...
(Begins serving her)
MISTY
Sorry, Mom. Thanks.
(To her brother, as she
prices a record album)
Hey, Chip, think I could get
50c for Vanilla Ice.
CHIP
I wouldn’t give ya a nickle.
MISTY
(Dreamily)
Carl can’t believe how much I
make at swap meets.
MOM
(Rolling her eyes good-naturedly)
And who may I ask is Carl?
MISTY
Just a boy. He’s picking me up
this morning.
CHIP
Here we go again.
MISTY
He’s really cute!
MOM
(Watching the cute little
birds nibbling seed from
the bird-feeder in kitchen
window)
Cute is not enough, Misty.
You know that.
CHIP
She sure can pick ’em!
MISTY
(Exasperated)
He goes to college with me!
DAD
Leave her alone, Chip.
(To MOM)
I think it’s great she has a
new beau, Beverly.
MOM smiles kindly, picks up a box of cereal in each
hand and turns to the family.
MOM
Cereal anybody?
Title "SERIAL MOM" appears on the screen.
DAD
Just a little, please. Bad
for the teeth.
CHIP
Always the dentist.
MOM
Chip, honey?
CHIP
Thanks, Mom.
As MOM serves the cereal, she spots a lone fly as it
lands on the butter dish. Without letting on to her
family, she grabs a flyswatter and begins stalking
the fly with a terrifying intensity, its buzzing
enough to make MOM’s head explode.
DAD
(Reading paper)
Look at this!
(Reading out loud in disgust)
"Hillside Strangler gets his
college degree in prison!"
MOM
(Preoccupied, stalking fly)
That’s nice.
DAD
Nice?! He should have been
executed!
MISTY
He killed people, Mom.
MOM
(To herself)
We all have bad nights.
(Gets ready to swat, but fly
buzzes off)
CHIP
(To MISTY)
You’d probably date him!
(Mimicking her)
He’s cu-uuute! Hey, Dad, did
you ever see "Henry, Portrait of
a Serial Killer?"
DAD
I certainly did not.
MISTY
You’ve been working in that
video shop too long.
DAD
And all that gore better hadn’t be
interfering with your schoolwork.
MOM stalks fly as it lands on CHIP’s toast as the
rest of the family remains oblivious to MOM’s
building anger.
CHIP
I do great in school, Dad.
(Eats toast as fly buzzes off)
A sickened and rage-filled MOM stalks the fly to
DAD’s orange juice glass where it secretes on the
rim in closeup.
DAD
Well, your mother’s going to PTA
today. We’ll see what your
teacher has to say.
(Takes a big gulp as fly buzzes away)
CHIP
(Giving a pleading look to MOM as
the buzzing of the fly builds in
intensity on the soundtrack)
Aw, Mom! I hate Mr. Stubbins!
MOM
(Moving in for the kill, hissing
the words in a rage)
Don’t say the word "hate", honey.
"Hate" is a very serious word!
MOM swats violently and we see fly splat in bloody
closeup. ("Directed by John Waters" credit appears).
Family is suddenly silent as they uneasily look up
in surprise at MOM’s ferocious attack.
MOM quickly wipes up squashed fly and smiles back at
her family.
MOM
There. All better.
(Suddenly all innocence)
Anybody for scrambled eggs?
END OF CREDITS.
A loud banging is heard on the back door. MOM jumps up
guiltily.
DAD
(Getting up from table)
Who on earth...?
MOM opens door to two police detectives in plain
clothes. DETECTIVE MOORE is younger and more rugged
than the older more world-weary DETECTIVE BRADFORD.
DET. MOORE
Mrs. Sutphin?
MOM
(Nervously)
Yes?
DET. MOORE
(Shows badge)
I’m Detective Moore and this
is Detective Bradford.
Subtitle appears "7:26am" and then fades out.
DAD
(Taking over)
I’m Dr. Eugene Sutphin. What’s
the trouble, officer?
CHIP
(Excitedly)
Is there a killer loose?
DET. MOORE
No son, nothing that exciting.
MOM
This is my son, Chip...and my
daughter, Misty.
MISTY
(Inappropriately making eyes
at the younger cop)
Hi!
CHIP
(Seeing MISTY flirting)
Jeeezzz!
MOM
Det. Bradford, I’m sorry but
we don’t allow gum chewing
in this house.
(Hands him a paper napkin)
DET. BRADFORD
(Spitting his gum into
paper napkin)
Sorry, ma’am.
(To MOM and DAD, taking out
an envelope)
We’re investigating obscene
phone calls and mail threats to
a certain Mrs. Dottie Hinkle.
MOM
I know Dottie!
DAD
She lives right down the street.
DET. BRADFORD
Could you take a look at this...
DET. MOORE
...And tell us of anybody who
might be responsible?
DET. BRADFORD
(As he hands note to MOM and DAD)
I should warn you...this note
contains LANGUAGE.
MOM and DAD open note. In cut-out letters from a
magazine it reads: "I’LL GET YOU PUSSY FACE!"
MOM
(Recoiling)
Oh God, really!
(Hands it back to cop)
This is the limit!
CHIP
Let me see!
DAD
Sorry, son.
(In disgust)
This is a matter for adults.
MOM
Officers, I’ve never said the
P-word out loud, much less
written it down!
DAD
No woman would!
MOM
(Seeing cute little bird
land on window feeder)
Look officers! Life doesn’t
have to be ugly.
(In baby-talk)
See the little birdie? Listen
to his call.
(Imitating bird call)
Peter Pan! Peter Pan! Peter Pan!
CHIP and MISTY roll their eyes in embarrassment as
bird calls back to MOM.
BIRD
Peter Pan! Peter Pan! Peter Pan!
DAD smiles proudly as detectives look at MOM in
amazement.
4. EXTERIOR SUTPHIN HOUSE.
A convertible pulls into driveway driven by CHIP’s
best friend, SCOTTY BARNHILL, a handsome but sullen
red-necky teen. Next to him is CHIP’s girlfriend,
BIRDIE STUART, a sexy tom-boy with lots of savvy.
Subtitle appears: "7:41am" and then fades out.
5. INTERIOR SUTPHIN KITCHEN.
MOM
Chip, your ride is here.
DAD
(Looking at his watch)
Hey, I’m late for work.
Bye, honey.
(Kisses MOM goodbye)
6. EXTERIOR SUTPHIN HOUSE.
All exit.
DET. MOORE
Thanks for your time, everybody.
MISTY
(Sighing)
Bye, Detective Moore.
BIRDIE
(Leaping out of convertible)
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Sutphin.
DAD
(To cops, getting into his car)
That’s Birdie. She’s a horror nut
just like my son.
MOM
(Fondly)
Good morning, Birdie. This is
Detectives Moore and Bradford.
BIRDIE
(Overdramatic, feigning horror)
I didn’t do it! I swear! Don’t
lock me up! I’ll take a lie detector!
(Kisses CHIP)
(Good-naturedly to COPS)
Hi ya, boys!
MOM
(Sarcastically to a sullen
SCOTTY in car)
Good morning Scotty!
SCOTTY guiltily looks up from vintage Betty Page
pin-up mag he’s reading and toots horn defiantly in
response as MOM grits her teeth.
BIRDIE
Hey Misty, look what I got!
(Pulling it out of bag)
A Pee Wee Herman Doll. Can you
sell it for me at the flea market?
MISTY
(Impressed)
Wow! Still in the box! I sure can!
(Looks up and sees a Trans Am
speeding towards the house)
Oh God, here comes Carl!
DAD pulls off in his car and almost collides with
CARL as he aggressively manoeuvres his car up the
driveway.
CARL PADGETT, a handsome jock climbs out of his car.
CARL
(To MOM)
You must be Mrs. Sutphin.
I’m Carl Padgett.
MOM
Misty’s date...
CARL
More of a friend really...
MISTY looks hurt.
MISTY
(To CARL)
See what Birdie gave me to
sell at the flea market?
CARL
(Sneering at Pee-Wee)
That guy’s a weirdo.
MOM’S smile freezes on her face as CHIP and BIRDIE
hop in SCOTTY’s convertible.
MOM
(Pointing to SCOTTY and
calling out to COPS as they
get into their car)
Now there’s something you should
be interested in, detectives. A
grown boy who doesn’t wear his
seat belts!
SCOTTY gives MOM a hateful look and peels out.
7. DISSOLVE TO SUBURBAN STREET. DET. MOORE and DET.
BRADFORD sit in their unmarked police car, drinking
coffee and filling out police reports.
DET. BRADFORD
(Once again chewing gum)
Christ, that one was Beaver
Cleaver’s mother.
(Imitating her)
Peter Pan! Peter Pan! Peter Pan!
DET. MOORE
(Good-naturedly)
Oh, leave her alone. Mrs. Sutphin’s
about as normal and nice a lady
we’re ever going to find.
8. INTERIOR BEVERLY AND EUGENE SUTPHIN’S BEDROOM.
MOM is sitting on bed, dialing phone with a
determined expression on her face.
Subtitle appears: "9:37am" and fades out.
In split screen, DOTTIE HINKLE, the harrassed middle
aged neighbor, looks at her ringing phone in her
living room with suspicion and finally answers.
DOTTIE
(Angrily)
Hello.
MOM
(Speaking in disguised voice)
Is this the Cocksucker residence?
DOTTIE
(Rising to the bait
every time)
Goddamn you! STOP CALLING HERE!
MOM
Isn’t this 4215 Pussy Way?
DOTTIE
(Furious)
You bitch!
MOM
Let me check the zip - 212 Fuck you?
DOTTIE
The police are tracing your call
right this minute.
MOM
Well, Dottie, how come they’re
not here then, Fuck-Face?
DOTTIE
(Red with rage)
FUCK YOU!
(Slams down phone)
MOM giggles to herself like a little kid and
immediately redials the phone.
9. EXTERIOR SUTPHIN HOUSE. BACK DOOR.
ROSEMARY ACKERMAN, MOM’s frumpy, brittle, busy-body
next door neighbor, is knocking on door, carrying a
sewing basket.
MRS. ACKERMAN
(Calling out)
Beverly? Beverly darling?
You home?
(She lets herself in)
I know you are...
10. INTERIOR MOM’S BEDROOM.
MOM is laughing to herself listening to ringing
phone while MRS. HINKLE, on split-screen, tries not
to answer. Finally she lunges for it.
DOTTIE
(Answering)
FUCK YOU TOO, YOU ROTTEN WHORE!!
MOM
(Disguising her voice
in prim manner)
I beg your pardon?
DOTTIE
(Horrified but suspicious)
Who is this?
MOM
Mrs. Wilson from the telephone
company. I understand you’re
having problems with obscene calls.
DOTTIE
(Mortified)
Yes, I am...I’m sorry Mrs. Wilson..
It’s driving me crazy...I’ve
changed my number twice already...
Please help me!
11. INTERIOR SUTPHIN KITCHEN.
ROSEMARY ACKERMAN walks through kitchen, wipes a
finger on window ledge to check for dust and calls
out Beverly’s name.
12. INTERIOR MOM’S BEDROOM.
MOM doesn’t hear MRS. ACKERMAN as she continues her
phone conversation with MRS. HINKLE.
MOM
(Still the fake telephone
company representative)
What exactly does this sick
individual say to you?
DOTTIE
I can’t say it out loud.
don’t use bad language.
13. INTERIOR MOM’S LIVING ROOM.
MRS. ACKERMAN looks up at huge oil portrait of MOM
in ornate frame hanging over couch and calls out
Beverly’s name. Hearing muffled voices behind MOM’S
closed bedroom door at the top of the steps, MRS.
ACKERMAN begins to creep up the steps.
14. INTERIOR MOM’S BEDROOM.
Split screen with MOM and DOTTIE HINKLE.
MOM
(Still impersonating)
I know it’s hard but we need
the exact words.
DOTTIE
Alright, I’ll try...
(Primly)
"Cocksucker". That’s what
she calls me.
MOM
(Laughs hideously, begins
speaking in her scary voice)
Listen to your dirty mouth, you
fucking whore!
DOTTIE
(Ballistic)
GODDAMN YOU!
15. INTERIOR HALLWAY OUTSIDE MOM’S BEDROOM.
MRS. ACKERMAN hears muffled shouts and reaches for
door handle.
16. INTERIOR BEDROOM. SPLIT SCREEN BETWEEN MOM AND
DOTTIE.
DOTTIE
MOTHERFUCKER!!
MOM
COCKSUCKER!
(Slams down phone)
MRS. ACKERMAN barges right in bedroom, almost
catching MOM who expertly snaps back to normal
without missing a beat.
MRS. ACKERMAN
Beverly, are you alright?
MOM
Rosemary, honey. Good morning.
I’m fine.
(Taking the sewing basket)
Thanks for remembering.
MRS. ACKERMAN
It’s the least I could do.
(Suspicious)
I heard shouting.
MOM opens sewing box to reveal a pair of gleaming
sewing scissors.
MOM
(Slamming it shut)
Just the damn cable TV company.
You know how they are.
Did you hear about Dottie Hinkle?
MRS. ACKERMAN
Yes, I did. It’s terrifying!
The police were at my house this
morning.
MOM
Who on earth would want to
harrass poor Dottie Hinkle?
17. EXTERIOR DOTTIE HINKLE’S SUBURBAN HOUSE.
DOTTIE HINKLE, still angry and occasionally cursing
to herself, digs in her prize flower garden out
front of her house behind ornamental wishing-well on
front lawn. Subtitle appears: "2:15pm" and then
fades out.
Cut to MOM, driving happily by in her station wagon
as she waves to DOTTIE.
DOTTIE sees MOM, tries to look cheerful and waves
back.
Cut back to MOM who looks in her rear view mirror,
sees she’s not being followed and suddenly screeches
car into a U-turn as MOM’s "Psycho Theme" plays on
soundtrack
MOM’s face turns to stone as ripple flashback
effects dissolve to that fateful day in the mall
when MOM pulled up to parallel park and DOTTIE
HINKLE stole her place from behind.
Ripple effects dissolve to the present as the wheels
of MOM’S car skid to a stop. The car door opens and
MOM’s sensible shoes step out as "Mom Psycho Theme"
builds.
MOM closes car door quietly, watches DOTTIE HINKLE
up the street undetected and then takes the scissors
from her purse and hides them up her sleeve.
As MOM sneaks up street towards DOTTIE, intercut are
obsessional flashbacks of details of the traumatic
parking place incident; MOM’S POV of DOTTIE pulling
into space, DOTTIE’S maddening nonchalance as she
snottily gets out of her car and trots right past
MOM without the slightest apology, MOM’S sputtering
face paralyzed with anger when she realizes there is
nowhere else to park.
Back in the present, MOM starts walking faster and
faster as she sees DOTTIE begin to pack up her
gardening tools to go back inside her house.
Arriving just a second too late as DOTTIE closes the
door behind her, MOM spots a can of gasoline near
DOTTIE’s lawnmower. Thinking fast, MOM dumps gas on
DOTTIE’s mail in the mailbox on porch, lights it on
fire and runs from the flames, happily throwing a
coin into DOTTIE’s wishing well as an afterthought.
MOM walks as fast as possible back to her car, gets
in and pulls off. Smiling evily to herself, she
drives by and sees DOTTIE HINKLE screaming in horror
and trying to beat the fire out with a broom.
18. EXTERIOR TOWSON SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL.
Parking lot is filled and the few last parents are
entering the building for PTA meeting. MOM speeds
into lot and gets out of car. Subtitle appears:
"3:O6pm" and fades out.
19. INTERIOR CLASSROOM.
MR. STUBBINS, Chip’s teacher, is winding down a
one-on-one meeting with another mother, who is in
tears.
MRS. TAPLOTTER
But, Mr. Stubbins, my son
studies every night! He’s
trying as hard as he can...
MR. STUBBINS
Some teenagers just aren’t college
material, Mrs, Taplotter. It’s
nothing to cry over. Now, there
are other parents waiting.
(Smugly)
...thank you for taking the time
to come to PTA.
20. INTERIOR SCHOOL HALLWAY. OUTSIDE MR. STUBBINS’
CLASSROOM.
Parents are seated in folding chairs waiting to be
called in to conference. MOM comes rushing down
corridor and other parents greet her.
MRS. STERNER
Hi, Beverly.
MOM
Hi, Betty. Oh, I love your
outfit.
MRS. STERNER
Thanks.
(Snobbily)
It’s a Liz Claiborne.
MR. STERNER
Mrs. Sutphin, where’s that
husband of yours?
(Making a bad dental joke
and pointing to his teeth)
Feeling "down in the mouth"?!
Hohohohohoho!
MOM
(Smiling through her teeth)
You’re soooo funny, Ralph...
MR. STUBBINS leans his head out of classroom and
looks at roll book as MRS. TAPLOTTER leaves, dabbing
her tears with a handkerchief.
MR. STUEBINS
Mrs...Sutphin?
MOM
(Excited)
Right here!
MOM goes in classroom with him.
21. INTERIOR CLASSROOM.
MR. STUBBINS
Mrs. Sutphin, I’m Paul Stubbins,
Chip’s math teacher.
MOM
(Shaking hands)
Nice to meet you, Mr. Stubbins.
(Handing him a tin)
A little something I baked.
MR. STUBBINS
(Peeking inside)
Oooohh! A fruit cake. Thank
you, Mrs. Sutphin. Have a seat.
MOM
Bon Appetit!
They sit on opposite sides of his desk.
MR. STUBBINS
Chip is off to a fine start
this year.
(Checking his roll book)
Focused...conscientious...
participates actively in
classroom discussion.
MOM
(Proudly)
He’s a good boy.
MR. STUBBINS
(Suddenly serious)
There is one big problem though.
MOM’S smile freezes on her face ever so subtly
MOM
What is it, Mr. Stubbins?
MR. STUBBINS
(Spitting out the words)
His unhealthy obsession with
sick horror films.
MOM
(Relieved)
He is assistant manager of a
video shop...
MR. STUBBINS
(Cutting her off)
That’s no excuse for a morbid
imagination. I caught him
drawing this in class last week.
(Unfolds lurid drawing of woman
getting her tongue pulled out
with the title, "Blood Feast")
Is there a problem at home?
MOM
(Shocked)
Certainly not!
MR. STUBBINS
Divorce? An alcoholic relative?
(Knowingly)
Tell me, did Chip torture animals
when he was young?
MOM
(Furious)
No, he did not! We are a loving
supportive family, Mr. Stubbins.
MR. STUBBINS
Well, you’re doing something
wrong, Mrs. Sutphin. I’d
recommend therapy for your son.
(Rising from his chair)
Thank you for taking the time
to come to PTA.
22. WIPE TO EXTERIOR HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT.
MOM sits behind wheel of station wagon wearing a
scary smile. Subtitle appears: "3:32pm" and fades
out.
MOM sees MR. STUBBINS exit school carrying her tin
of fruit cake. "Mom’s Psycho Theme" starts on
soundtrack and she puts her car in gear.
Closeup of wheels of MOM’s car beginning to creep
forward
MOM waves innocently to other parents as she stalks
MR. STUBBINS to his car in isolated faculty parking
lot.
A trashy teen girl, LU-ANN, sneaks a joint behind a
bush unnoticed.
Shot of MOM’s face staring at MR. STUBBINS in
vengeance.
Over the shoulder shot of MR. STUBBINS walking
directly in MOM’s path.
Closeup of MR. STUBBINS looking up and seeing MOM.
He takes a stick of gum from his pocket, unwraps it,
and pops it in his mouth.
MOM’s face turns to stone at the last straw of
seeing MR. STUBBINS chewing gum.
MOM’s POV of MR. STUBBINS waving to her.
Shot of accelerator being floored by MOM.
Shot of MOM’s car peeling out headed straight for
MR. STUBBINS.
MOM’s POV of MR. STUBBINS’ suddenly terrified
expression.
MR. STUBBINS’ POV of MOM’S car speeding at him.
MOM’s car hits MR. STUBBINS and sends him flying up
on car hood.
Shot of fruit cake tin hitting ground and rolling.
LU-ANN, the trashy teen girl screams in horror.
MOM turns on windshield wipers to wipe away blood
but they only smear the blood worse.
MOM hits windshield wiper fluid button.
MR. STUBBINS’ POV SHOT OF MOM’s insanely happy face
through bloodied water.
Suddenly MR. STUBBINS grabs on to side-view mirror
and attempts to grab MOM through side window.
LU-ANN watches in horrified amazement and throws
down joint like it’s a hot coal.
MOM starts swerving car but MR. STUBBINS holds on
for dear life, grabbing at MOM, pulling her hair.
MOM struggles and bites his hand like a snapping
turtle.
Shot of sign "SLOW-SPEED BUMPS".
MOM hits speed bump and MR. STUBBINS flies over roof
and lands in a heap behind her.
MOM screeches to a stop.
MOM’s POV, through rearview mirror of MR. STUBBINS,
still alive, struggling to his knees.
MOM smiles sweetly.
Closeup of automatic gear shift being thrown into
reverse.
MOM’s car backs up swerving in speed towards MR.
STUBBINS.
Low-level MR. STUBBINS’ POV of rear of car coming at
him.
MOM’S POV of MR. STUBBINS’ desperate struggle to get
out of her path.
Car runs directly over him - THUHP - and chewed up
wad of gum flies out of MR. STUBBINS’ mouth.
MOM smiles to herself.
LU-ANN, the only eye-witness, runs away in fear.
MOM peels out and once in main parking lot resumes
waving innocently to other parents as she flees.
MOM swerves car into car wash.
23. INTERIOR CHIP’S BEDROOM.
On CHIP’s large video screen plays the ridiculously
dated but still appalling scene from "BLOOD FEAST"
where the madman with the corny, madeup eyebrows
rips a girl’s tongue out of her mouth in hokey
special effects.
Subtitle reads "4:22pm" and fades out.
CHIP and BIRDIE are hooting and hollering and eating
popcorn as SCOTTY looks up from his vintage
nudist-camp magazine to watch in real horror and
nausea.
BIRDIE
It’s a sheep’s tongue!
SCOTTY
Man, I just ate. Turn it off.
CHIP
Rewind it! Let’s see it again!
SCOTTY
No! That shit is sickening!
Put on pussy!
BIRDIE
(Torturing SCOTTY)
Look, Dick-Head!
(Gore scene replays)
SLOW-MOTION!
SCOTTY starts to gag and tries to hide it,
BIRDIE
(Looking at screen)
BLOOD FEAST!
CHIP
(Proudly)
The "Citizen Kane" of gore
movies.
SCOTTY looks at gore on video, jumps up to run to
bathroom, yanks open bedroom door and screams when
he sees MOM standing there with a plate of chocolate
chip cookies.
MOM
I don’t know what it is about
today, but I FEEL GREAT!
SCOTTY
(Gagging)
Excuse me, Mrs. Sutphin.
He runs past her to the bathroom.
CHIP
Hi, Mom.
BIRDIE
Hi, Mrs. Sutphin.
MOM looks at TV monitor and sees madman taking out
heart of girl. MOM smiles inappropriately.
MOM
(Giggles)
You kids. Now Birdie, I want
you to have a cookie and then
run along home.
CHIP
But Mom, the video’s not over.
MOM
No "but mom" for you, young man.
Mr. Stubbins seems to think these
silly movies are interfering with
your studies.
(Turns off video with remote)
BIRDIE
(Rolling her eyes)
Oh, boy!
(Getting ready to leave)
CHIP
Mom, Mr. Stubbins is a nimrod!
SCOTTY comes back in room feeling better.
SCOTTY
Man, that one made me puke!
MOM
(Picking up SCOTTY’s nudist
camp magazine and handing it
back to him like it’s poison)
You forgot something...
SCOTTY
(Looking around confused)
Are we leaving?
MOM
Yes you are.
SCOTTY guiltily takes back magazine as BIRDIE drags
him out.
BIRDIE
Bye, Mrs, Sutphin.
CHIP
(Affectionately)
Bye, bird-brain, See ya, Scotty.
MOM
Bye, Birdie.
(Sitting down next to CHIP
on his bed)
Chip, honey...I know it’s hard
being a teenager but I understan